Say hello to my little friend

[Balog]

Miami cop fired after testing positive for cocaine on random drug screen. Files a suit alleging that he unknowingly got it into his system by way of a homemade penis cream he was given by a friend. Arbitrator gives him his job and back pay.

http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/07/31/4264753/fired-miami-beach-cop-gets-job.html

[MillCreek]

Cocaine is used as a topical anesthetic.  Topical anesthetics are often used as over-the-counter creams or ointments to treat premature ejaculation.  The anesthetic dulls sensation thereby prolonging erection before ejaculation.  The cocaine would be absorbed into the skin such that it could register on a drug screen, depending on the timing of the screen versus the application of the cream or ointment. 

So although there may well be simpler explanations for the positive drug screen, the penis cream scenario is not out of the realm of possibility.  I would be pretty skeptical though, absent objective evidence, such as a sample of the cream and the timing.

[Balog]

I'm more concerned about the judgement displayed by a freaking homicide detective whose reaction to being handed a tub of mystery cream and told to rub it on his junk is to say "sounds legit" and go to town.

[brimic]

I'm more concerned about the judgement displayed by a freaking homicide detective whose reaction to being handed a tub of mystery cream and told to rub it on his junk is to say "sounds legit" and go to town.

Do guys in miami share penis creams? Is that a thing now?

Also, when did it become legal to use someone else's prescription drugs? Ex- if my wife told me to 'take this pill for your migraine' and gave me a bunch of them to keep in my car, and they turned out to be hydrocodone, would the excuse "I didn't know they contained narcotics" hold up in court after they are found during a search?

I didn't think so....

[Balog]

Do guys in miami share penis creams? Is that a thing now?

Also, when did it become legal to use someone else's prescription drugs? Ex- if my wife told me to 'take this pill for your migraine' and gave me a bunch of them to keep in my car, and they turned out to be hydrocodone, would the excuse "I didn't know they contained narcotics" hold up in court after they are found during a search?

I didn't think so....

Since it was homemade I don't think the issue of taking another person's prescription meds would be a problem.

Just the issue of rubbing random mystery cream on your junk.

[onions!]

Do guys in miami share penis creams? Is that a thing now?

Also, when did it become legal to use someone else's prescription drugs? Ex- if my wife told me to 'take this pill for your migraine' and gave me a bunch of them to keep in my car, and they turned out to be hydrocodone, would the excuse "I didn't know they contained narcotics" hold up in court after they are found during a search?

I didn't think so....

If they were her prescription why wouldn't it?
If they weren't,well,you've other problems.

Millcreek mentioned OTC creams.The OPs'link was to some homebrew.

[BobR]

Well, while plausible, it isn't very likely.

While on active duty I was on a court martial board for a guy that popped positive for cocaine on a random piss test.

His defense was similiar, he claimed his GF used it on her nether regions and he must of ingested it during the act of cunnilingus.

He had his lawyer, a real one, not a sea lawyer, but he should have gone with the sea lawyer who thought up this defense.... but I digress.

The Navy.mil had chemists and other speakers of technical jargon, talking things like gas spectrometer, cut-off limits, absorbation rates, etc.

In the end, the "coke-snatcher" as we lovingly called him was awarded a big chicken dinner (BCD) a few days of hard time and forfeiture of all pay and allowances.

The moral to this was two fold, don't ask for an enlisted court martial board because you think you will get off easier, and sometimes it is best to make sure the plate is clean before licking it. 

bob

[MillCreek]

Millcreek mentioned OTC creams.The OPs'link was to some homebrew.

Just to emphasize, there are no OTC penile desensitizing creams or ointments containing cocaine.  The local anesthetic used in the OTC meds is usually benzocaine.  Anything containing cocaine for that purpose would be homemade or manufactured and distributed in a place not under US jurisdiction.  I remember all the conniptions on using cocaine for ENT surgery by the hospital pharmacy.  

[onions!]

So if I wanted to feel all tingly I could rub Ambesol on my unit?

Hmm...Nope,not gonna try it.

[Brad Johnson]

So if I wanted to feel all tingly I could rub Ambesol on my unit?

Hmm...Nope,not gonna try it.

Ambesol = no feeling at all.  Absorbine, on the other hand...

Brad

[brimic]

Just to emphasize, there are no OTC penile desensitizing creams or ointments containing cocaine.  The local anesthetic used in the OTC meds is usually benzocaine.  Anything containing cocaine for that purpose would be homemade or manufactured and distributed in a place not under US jurisdiction.  I remember all the conniptions on using cocaine for ENT surgery by the hospital pharmacy.  

My son was prescribed sone numbing cream for some staples out in his head when he had a big mole removed.  Wasn
N't cocaine based, was EMLA or something like that. Just applying the stuff made my fingers not numb, but feel like they weren't even there. Not sure why anyone would want to put that on the ol weiner either. 
I think that was the sane styff they put on my back as well fir remiving a cyst, before giving anesthetic shots. Was a weird feeling, I coukd feel pressure but no pain when the injections were given.

[BobR]

EMLA is a mixture of lidocaine and prilocaine, we used to use it on little boys before their circumcision, among other uses. I was never a fan of the stuff, it takes too long to work and I believe it is very superficial.

I used to make LAT at a clinic I worked at, lidocaine, adrenaline and tetracaine, mainly used as a topical numbing agent on kids heads, etc prior to numbing with a needle.

The other stuff we mixed was TAC, tetracaine, adrenaline and cocaine. It was used like LAT but we could also use it for bloody noses that needed packing. Between the adrenaline and cocaine it would usually stop pretty quick.

The doc would give me the keys to his car and send me to the hospital pharmacy where I would pick up cocaine by the gram to mix up the TAC with.

bob

[Jamisjockey]

I'm more concerned about the judgement displayed by a freaking homicide detective whose reaction to being handed a tub of mystery cream and told to rub it on his junk is to say "sounds legit" and go to town.

People do stupid *expletive deleted*it for sex.

[Regolith]

My son was prescribed sone numbing cream for some staples out in his head when he had a big mole removed.  Wasn
N't cocaine based, was EMLA or something like that. Just applying the stuff made my fingers not numb, but feel like they weren't even there. Not sure why anyone would want to put that on the ol weiner either. 
I think that was the sane styff they put on my back as well fir remiving a cyst, before giving anesthetic shots. Was a weird feeling, I coukd feel pressure but no pain when the injections were given.

That would explain your typing. 

[brimic]

That would explain your typing. 

That, and typing on a silly tablet.

[vaskidmark]

Spent some time looking for my "that breaks down into this" drug testing info but could not locate it.

Anybody know the metabolite(s) that the random drug screens are picking up on?  All this -caine being suggested as possibilities probably breaks down into the same stuff random drug screens are actually picking up on.

And unless his random test was confirmed by a test that actually showed cocaine (as opposed to a metabolite that any of the various non-Schedule IV/III drugs also produce) I would tend to agree with the arbitrator's decision - probably based on a policy violation of not running a confirmation test.

Now - supposing his buddy homebrewed a cream with any other -caine.  AFAIK you need a scrip for any of them.  They even took lidocaine and benzocaine out of OTC sunburn stuff.   If so, both guys are in violation of that no-sharing-presciption-meds law.

stay safe.

[Marnoot]

They even took lidocaine and benzocaine out of OTC sunburn stuff.

They still have lidocaine. Couple examples:

http://www.amazon.com/Ocean-Potion-Suncare-Instant-Relief/dp/B001URL34Y

http://www.amazon.com/Water-Jel-Relief-Minor-Burns/dp/B0001KFXCO

[AmbulanceDriver]

As far as I could find, cocaine - and specifically its metabolites - are not mimicked by any other otc or prescription drugs in screening tests.

[Balog]

They still have lidocaine. Couple examples:

http://www.amazon.com/Ocean-Potion-Suncare-Instant-Relief/dp/B001URL34Y

http://www.amazon.com/Water-Jel-Relief-Minor-Burns/dp/B0001KFXCO

Don't tell that to FL cops or they'll put it on their dicks.

[Marnoot]

Not when they have sweet, sweet encocainized liniments for the job, apparently.

[Balog]

I want to see a guy get arrested with coke in Fl and use the "I was just gonna rub it on my junk!" defense.

[Tallpine]

So, things really do go better with coke 

[vaskidmark]

Was it Kelly Grayson (the other Ambulance Driver) or Law Dog that wrote about the guy who rubbed his relative's nitroglycerine cream on his junk?

I've had someone accidently rub a transdermal nitro patch that was high up on my arm under the shirt sleeve.  I'll match that headache against anybody's migraine any day.

stay safe.