Get a ticket to heaven - help Tito & Amanda get to crack planet

[vaskidmark]

http://stuppid.com/arrested-selling-golden-tickets-heaven/

Tito Watts said in his police statement:

I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…

Amanda Watts said in her police statement:

We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and smoke rock cocaine. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched.

According to the cops, selling tickets to heaven is OK, but you can't say they are gold if they really are not.

And what's with his face?  Did Tito do that to himself or did Amanda help?

stay safe.

[BlueStarLizzard]

"and a baby alligator."


well, that was random...

[LadySmith]

I got thrown off by the baby alligator reference and Amanda's honesty.
I also wonder about the people who would buy those tickets, especially from that guy.

[Jamisjockey]

Of course they're from Florida....

[Perd Hapley]

I also wonder about the people who would buy those tickets, especially from that guy.

You mean, for the low, low price of just 99 dollars, I get all this?!

[BobR]

Um yea, I am not sure who to feel sorry for here, the guys just trying to get to crack planet or the "hundreds" of people who bought a "golden ticket to heaven".  .


bob