AK, AR, Mosin comparison

[RadioFreeSeaLab]

Found on Mouseguns.com

Humorous Comparison of an AK47, an AR15 and a Mosin

Stuff you know if you have an AK.

It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever. You are able to hit the
broad side of a barn from inside. Cheap mags are fun to buy. Your safety
can be heard 300m away. Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling. Your
bayonet makes a good wire cutter. You can put a .30" hole through 12" of
oak, if you can hit it. When out of ammo, your rifle will nominally pass
as a club. Recoil is manageable, even fun. Your sight adjustment goes to
'10', and you've never bothered moving it. Your rifle can be used by any
two bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces
worldwide. Your rifle won some revolutions. You paid $350. You buy cheap
ammo by the case. You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
Service life, 50 years. Its easier to buy a new rifle when you want to
change cartridge sizes. You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a
swift kick. You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards
to burst into flames. After a long day at the range you relax by watching
"Red Dawn." After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff
shot of Vodka. You can accessorize your rifle with a new muzzle brake or
a nice stock set. Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint. Your wife
tolerates your autographed, framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov. Late
at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over
your head and shout "Wolverines!"

Stuff you know if you have an AR

You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic teflon infused oil
for cleaning. You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600m.
Cheap mags melt. You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on
the trigger. Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system.
Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife. You can put one hole
in a paper target at 100m with 30 rounds. When out of ammo, your rifle
makes a great whiffle bat. What's recoil? Your sight adjustment is
incremented in fractions of minute of angle. Your rifle is used by elite
forces worldwide to fight two bit nations most illiterate conscripts.
Your rifle won the cold war. You paid $900. You lovingly reload precision
crafted rounds one by one. Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
Service life, 40 years. You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a
couple of pins and a new upper. You can repair your rifle by taking it to
a certified gunsmith, it's under warranty! You consider it a badge of
honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group. After a long day at the
range you relax by watching "Blackhawk Down." After cleaning your rifle
you have a strong urge for hotdogs and Apple Pie. Your rifle's
accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle. Your rifle's
finish is Teflon and high tech polymers. Your wife tolerates your
autographed, framed picture of Eugene Stoner. Late at night you sometimes
have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to
room.

Stuff you know if you have a Mosin Nagant

It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945. You can hit the farm from two
counties over. What's a mag? What's a safety? Your rifle has dog collars.
Your bayonet is longer than your leg. You can knock down everyone else's
target just from the shock wave of your bullet going downrange. When out
of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole,
or firewood. Recoil often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the
previous shot. Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you've actually
tried it. Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time. Your
rifle won a pole vault event. You paid $59.95. You dig your ammo out of a
farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine. You can bayonet your
foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your
hole. Service Life, 100 years. You believe no real man would dare risk
the ridicule of his friends if he suggests there is anything but
7.62x54r. If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one. You consider it a
badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4. After a
long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor. After
cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob. Your rifle's
accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but its buried under an
apartment building somewhere in Budapest. Your rifle's finish is low
grade shellac, cosmoline and Olga's toe nails. You're not sure there WERE
cameras to photograph Sergei Mosin. Late at night, you sometimes have to
fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the yard to sleep in.

[Headless Thompson Gunner]

 

[AJ Dual]

It's kind of secret, but I think I can share with APS&

I am working on a custom handgun for a celebrity client.

It's a revolver that shoots Mosin Nagants for Chuck Norris.

[RadioFreeSeaLab]

It actually shoots rifles?

[AJ Dual]

Yes, each chamber holds an entire MN in a special sabot.

Then centrifugal force from the rifling imparted spin works the bolt and trigger automaticaly and makes the rifle fire all five rounds of 7.62x54R twoards the target, before the rifle, bayonet extended of course, strikes the target at an average speed of 2400 fps. The chronograph reads about 2800fps, if we load the slightly lighter weight M44 carbines instead of full length 1891/30's.

It's been slow going though, as we can only conduct live-fire testing when Mr. Norris' schedule permits, as he's the only man on earth capable of holding and firing the revolver...

[RadioFreeSeaLab]

I'd love to see pictures

[Perd Hapley]

How would we work Mausers into this scheme?  Enfields?   

[Headless Thompson Gunner]

It'd be too expensive to shoot if you used mausers or enfields.  Mosins are the only sensible choice.

[RadioFreeSeaLab]

Depends on the Mauser.  8mm is dirt cheap right now.

[AJ Dual]

I'd love to give you guys pictures, but the NDA we've drawn up with Mr. Norris' management team prohibits it. I was only able to tell you this much because, at least contracturaly, I don't believe APS qualifies as "the media".

As long as the OAL of the bolt-action in question was similar to an MN 91/30 w/ bayonet attached, it'd probably work. We could probably create adaptor sabots for the various rifles. However, it would be exorbitantly expensive, and to get the right twist-rate in the barrel to get the various actions to cycle would add to the expense, and the purchaser would also have to furnish the Mausers or Lee-Enfields for function testing, and have to pay ALL of our tooling costs up front.

Of course, even if you could afford it, why would you want a revolver that would have to be carried about on a fork-lift, just on the chance Chuck Norris would happen by for you to lend it to him?

However, there is another development we're working on. 7.62x54R hollopoints with angry bees that fly out of the cavity, which will fire from the Mosin Nagant rifles Mr. Norris' revolver will be firing, That development might be expanded for non-fired rifles in popular military calibers once Mr. Norris' project is complete.

However, it might take some time to come to market. As soon as Mr. Norris' revolver is completed, we need to begin work on modifying Dillon Aero miniguns for use in vaccuum for the CWIS contract for the International Space Station.

[Sergeant Bob]

It's been slow going though, as we can only conduct live-fire testing when Mr. Norris' schedule permits, as he's the only man on earth capable of holding and firing the revolver...

I pit the fool who thinks Mr. T couldn't handle it!

[Antibubba]

Stuff you know if you have a Mosin Nagant
---
Service Life, 100 years

...and counting!

[richyoung]

Stuff You Know If You Have An M-1 Garand:

It was last cleaned the last time you shot it.  Its supposed to be lubed with lithium based Lubriplate, but in a pinch axle grease or Vaseline will do - unless you plan to fight at Chosin Reservoir, in which case a wipe with an oily patch will do.  You can put the cleaning rod, combo tool, and little pots full of lithium grease/axle grease in the round holes under the trap door in the buttstock - but you better wrap them in cleaning patches, or the rattle will give your position away.  Your fionish is parkerizing on the metal - except the gas cylinder, which is hot-blackened.  The wood will have one of four finishes:

A. linseed oil
8. polyester
C. 1950 vintage crankcase drainings
D. Enemy blood and teeth


Your bullet will go through half an inch of armor plate - and that's the REGULAR M2 ball, not the AP.  The buttplate has a cheesgrater texture, which not only adds insult to injury when butt-stroking, but can also grind coffee - especially if its in a bag between your shoulder and the gun when firing.  You bayonet is either real long, or real short.  It's either never been sharpened in its life, or been ground down to razor quality in preparation for a bayonet charge.  Your sling is either classy, classic leather, M1907, or a cheesey crapy OD or tan cotton web belt.  The cheesgrater makes recoil feel almost as bad as the Mosin.  You know that John Garand, Captain Kirk, and Canadian Mist are the only three good things to come out of Canada.  The only sights more accurate and adjustable than a Garand's are a National Match Garand's... or a sniper scope.  You can color match replacement handguards and stocks with equal parts of governement red and green stamp pad ink.  The only thing better than a 30-06 is a clip of eight of them - and yes, in this case, its a CLIP!  You can angle your Garand so that the empties and clips hit the guy shooting the AK or AR agianst you in the match.  If you can see it, you feel like its within range, with the possible exception of celestial bodies.  You paid $400 for it through the DCM.  If it breaks you order replacement parts from the DCM and fix it yourself, like a REAL man.  To change calibur, either insert a .308 shell adapter which will un-install itself within 100 rounds, or go through the pain of replacing barrels.  You either shoot white-box generic commercial, DCM suplus Lake City ammo by the box, or Greek, Turkish, or Korean surplus by the bandolier.  If you do reload, you have to full-length resize, not just the neck.  You clean it with Windex after shooting surplus Korean ammo - just in case.  You rifle won the Big One, and got a draw in Korea.  After a long day at the range, you relax by holding an ice bag on your shoulder and watching "Saving Private Ryan".  After cleaning your rifle, you have a strange craving for ham and lima beans,..but you don't call them that.  Late at night, you have a strange urge to watch "Mail Call" marathons...and chant "LMR barrel".

[Headless Thompson Gunner]

 

I like that one too.