Not bad, but the coloration stuff was a little overdone. You know, the stuff modern TV show writers put in the script to inflate ten minutes of plot into a full hour. What I call "bread in the toaster" writing... you know:
"She listened to the pleasant sound of the kids playing outside as she put a slice of bread in the toaster, unaware of the chaos downtown."
I think that's what someone meant about doing a movie script.
I, naturally, as a personal thing, wanted to know a little more about the technical details, like the football robot, and setting up the explosives on the big robot. I'm still not clear on what the Zeus detonator is. Maybe I'll read it again. On the other hand, one rule is "don't write what people won't read," and that much detail might be too much for the intended audience.
I also wanted to know more about the decisioneering on use of the explosives on the robot. "Hell, he just killed five Officers" wasn't quite enough for me.
But all in all, a good writing job, as far as I can tell, if the facts are in fact factual. It could use a little editing and trimming, but then again, so could my post here. :D
And every good writer needs a good editor.
Terry
REF:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Film_treatment
