Just no. Stop it.

[Scout26]

They need to go out in the woods and kill small mammals with their bare hands...

https://www.philly.com/health/men-cuddling-group-healing-trauma-mental-health-20190325.html?fbclid=IwAR0pBhnN1J5pbZaVLeG13-EghWX-oo9fNmDZMrNeZzNh4Lzjf36fDGKCzj4

[Hawkmoon]

Not just "No!", but "[Expletive deleted] no!"

They need to go out in the woods and kill small large mammals with their bare hands...

Or chop down a tree -- with an axe. Or build a shed, or rotate the tires on their Prius. Engage in some toxic masculinity, fer cryin' out loud.

[HeroHog]

Go to Uncle Ted's place and hunt wild boar with a pointy stick and a K-Bar!

[TechMan]

Ain’t no way I’m motorcycle holding any of you.


ETA...Especially Mike.

[Boomhauer]

https://youtu.be/WDgq-K2oYLo

[MechAg94]

I saw a show once about a guy who runs a small shop that rebuilds motorcycles and it is essentially therapy for recent veterans (PTSD) to show up and work on the bikes and hang out with the other guys.  One of the newer guys said he knew nothing about motorcycles when he showed up, but he learned.  Productive, hands-on work while hanging out with friends sounds like better therapy to me.

However, it sounds like these guys are dealing with other types of trauma.  If it truly works for them, good for them.

[freakazoid]

I saw a show once about a guy who runs a small shop that rebuilds motorcycles and it is essentially therapy for recent veterans (PTSD) to show up and work on the bikes and hang out with the other guys.  One of the newer guys said he knew nothing about motorcycles when he showed up, but he learned.  Productive, hands-on work while hanging out with friends sounds like better therapy to me.

However, it sounds like these guys are dealing with other types of trauma.  If it truly works for them, good for them.

They were on an episode of Mike Rowe's Returning the Favor.

[230RN]

Control the language, control the society.

Frame all adjustment problems in terms of "toxic" masculinity.

So now masculinity in general is toxic.

That characteristic which makes us climb mountains or drill through them, which develops new cultivation systems for the stay-at-homes, which is prepared to defend those stay-at-homes from being raped and their kitchens and root cellars picked clean of sustenance.

Yep.  Toxic masculinity.

A man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.

Remember those "toxic" tasks?  Paraquoted from Heinlein.  Sounds like some of them might be good therapy.

One might argue with specific points, but the general theme is valid.

Masculinity isn't toxic.  Attacking it is.

Terry, 230RN

[WLJ]

Unlike professional cuddling services, which are gaining popularity in cities across the United States, the group charges no fees and members are not required to undergo training.

Wait till the Professional Cuddling Services Union hears about this

[Ron]

Pump iron.

Learn a new skill.

Choose a cause and volunteer your time.

Seek truth and God.

Better yourself.

Cuddling with other men to overcome trauma? Sad, weak and compounding the trauma with humiliation.

[fifth_column]

Or chop down a tree -- with an axe. Or build a shed, or rotate the tires on their Prius. Engage in some toxic masculinity, fer cryin' out loud.

You're assuming these men don't regularly do all these things already. 

Physical contact is vital for each of us as individuals.  If it works for them I will not fault them.

[Ron]

You're assuming these men don't regularly do all these things already. 

Physical contact is vital for each of us as individuals. 

Both are true statements.

I just don’t really agree with your pragmatic conclusion. That shouldn’t be farmed out to strangers.

It’s sad if these men don’t have friends or family to genuinely experience that comfort from one who knows and loves you.

Build those relationships now in the event you need someone later.

[Hawkmoon]

You're assuming these men don't regularly do all these things already. 

Physical contact is vital for each of us as individuals.  If it works for them I will not fault them.

I will. If you won't, I'll take up the slack and do it for you. 

Question: What if it doesn't really work for them? What if they are being told that it works and that it will help, but a year or a few years down the road it turns out it didn't help -- or even made their traumas worse by masking them? Or simply traded off one trauma for another?

I'm still going to have to go with "Not just 'No!', but '[Expletive deleted] no!' "

[fifth_column]

Both are true statements.

I just don’t really agree with your pragmatic conclusion. That shouldn’t be farmed out to strangers.

It’s sad if these men don’t have friends or family to genuinely experience that comfort from one who knows and loves you.

Build those relationships now in the event you need someone later.

I get the impression these men aren't strangers.  It is sad if they don't have anywhere else to get affection.  However, this is not unusual in my experience.  Loneliness runs rampant in our modern culture.  And in the minds of many men, sex is the only accepted method of getting (and giving) physical affection.  And fighting . . . .

[fifth_column]

I will. If you won't, I'll take up the slack and do it for you. 

Question: What if it doesn't really work for them? What if they are being told that it works and that it will help, but a year or a few years down the road it turns out it didn't help -- or even made their traumas worse by masking them? Or simply traded off one trauma for another?

I'm still going to have to go with "Not just 'No!', but '[Expletive deleted] no!' "

I hope that if this doesn't work for them they find something that does.  I still won't fault them for trying.  I might find fault in someone that finds the simple act of touching another human being traumatic. 

I don't know what kinds of traumas these men have suffered.  If they're significant traumas I doubt a simple cuddling session, even if frequent, would do much more than offer comfort.  True healing takes work.

[HeroHog]

As I've gotten older, I have friends who I hold dear in my heart. These men I will hug when we meet/part, and I will tell them I love them as well. Mind you, we are all about as far removed from gay as you can get. Would any of us ever CUDDLE? Not unless we were freezing to death! Point being, as we age, we value true friends more and more.

[MechAg94]

Both are true statements.

I just don’t really agree with your pragmatic conclusion. That shouldn’t be farmed out to strangers.

It’s sad if these men don’t have friends or family to genuinely experience that comfort from one who knows and loves you.

Build those relationships now in the event you need someone later.

The article made mention of abuse as a child being one of the traumas.  That might have an affect on the family relationship if that is the source of the abuse.  I hate to imagine how that could screw someone up.

I mentioned the motorcycle thing as I think there is therapy in working with your hands to build or fix something. 

[Perd Hapley]

They need to go out in the woods and kill small mammals with their bare hands...

I'm pretty sure the squirrels would win that one.

[Jamisjockey]

Remember those "toxic" tasks?  Paraquoted from Heinlein.  Sounds like some of them might be good therapy.


Terry, 230RN

Better yet, learn those tasks, or do them with, someone who's been there done that in regards to what you're suffering with or haven't healed from, while retaining their masculinity and humanity.