Yes, I drink.
Feel free to share any related experiences if you wish.
OK.
The Long Island Iced Tea IncidentBack in the early 1990s, my friends B, E and myself would habitually end up a particular Metal Bar in Denver. Occasionally E's roommate D would go with, but he was a drag since he would tack out, get all down on himself ("I'm a skid-mark on the panties of life") and want to walk 15 miles home in blazing sun sans shirt or freezing cold sans jacket. So D stayed home that night.
B, E & I went out that Saturday. We took B's black over yellow '72 Ford LTD coupe (with the 'Grandma at the wheel' bumper sticker) since E did not have a license and I drove the week prior. B was upset over his suger-momma Gfriend T dumping him, so wanted some strange that night. We ended up at the Metal Bar as usual, and they were having specials on Long Island Iced Teas. After the obligatory round of shot & a beer, B started buying LIITs and scoping for some of that strange he was after. E & I were content to just absorb the atmosphere and the EtOH.
The night progresses and B is making good time with one lass, and so in a good mood and continues to fund the LIITs. E & I had no objections to B's largess, so we keep sucking 'em down. 'Round about 01:150ish I decide I'd had enough atmosphere and told E I needed some fresh air and I'd meet B and he at B's car.
I'm out there in the soft summer night, happily identifying the bugs drawn to the lights when I see a car drive past the parking area of the Metal Bar, then roll back and the passenger exchange words with some other bar patron. Said passenger drunkenly gets out and procedes to charge equally drunk bar patron. They fall to the ground, flail at each and roll around on the ground like two drunk guys fighting. This was when B & E make their appearance, and B wants to get in the middle of the two drunk guys fun. E grabs him away, since the local cops have taken an interest in the two drunk guys fun. As B & E come closer, I can see that B is scowling. The lass that he was making such good time with went home with some other dude, and B is pissed.
B comes running up to the car and shouts out "I HATE THIS &@%#! CAR!" and plants his right foot on the drivers quarter panel, leaving a nice dent and a clear boot print. Knowing B's car, I call backseat since I know the belts in front don't work worth a darn. B drives, and the entire drive home he's shouting curses, punching the roof, pounding on the dash and using two lanes all by hisself. E keeps looking back at me and mouthing "We're gonna die".
Surprisingly, we make it back to E's apartment in one peice. Car is parked and we all pile out. Seeing how D is still around but asleep, we decide to pay him back for all the embarrassment his tack-out sessions have given us. B, E and I launch into a loud newspaper fight to spoil D's sleep while shouting for D to get the frell up and cook us breakfast. Fun progresses until D gets up and calls us all a bunch of cloacas. Mission accomplished, E & D go back to their respective beds while I grab a pillow, blanket and a strech of floor, leaving B the green horror of a couch that had at least three distinct curves to its seating area (I'd slept on that horror before and found the carpet over concrete floor much more comfy).
Dawn comes, D & E are still sawing wood but B and I are starved. B complains about being all stiff and sore while I chuckle knowingly and draft a note for E, then we head for breakfast. As we approach B's car, B curses agains and asks "Who the %@$!#$ kicked my car? @&!*!"
To which I reply "You did last night B. You did."
After that *I* got Dragooned into driving on the nights out.
