I can do better than that. A decorative glass banana, with a string scotch taped to it to aid in recovery. Well, seeing as to how the area it was inserted is usually moist and the friction of repetitive in and out motion the tape failed and the banana became somewhat lost in the void and could no longer be grasped by human fingers. So what to do? Hey, I know, let's take a screwdriver and try to pry it out of the clutches of the dark abyss. You can guess how that went, glass banana chipping, bowel lacerated, blood from the damage making things even more difficult. Well, I guess I may as well go to the ER he said, honey would you drive me he said. I actually felt sorry for the wife, she just sat there looking at the floor the whole time, him I didn't care how he felt, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I don't know if he ended up pooping in a bag for a while or not.
bob