Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 46994 times)

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #450 on: February 12, 2024, 02:34:00 PM »
San Franciscans Loot Slightly More Than Usual Following Super Bowl Loss
https://babylonbee.com/news/san-franciscans-loot-slightly-more-than-usual-following-super-bowl-loss
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #451 on: February 12, 2024, 02:34:26 PM »
Horrifying Study Finds More Trans People Have Pretend-Died Under DeSantis Than Any Other Governor In History
https://babylonbee.com/news/horrifying-study-finds-more-trans-people-have-pretend-died-under-desantis-than-any-other-governor-in-history
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #452 on: February 14, 2024, 02:02:47 PM »
Domestic Extremists All Helpfully Label Themselves For FBI
https://babylonbee.com/news/domestic-extremists-all-helpfully-label-themselves-for-fbi
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #453 on: February 15, 2024, 12:42:59 PM »
10 Lesser-Known Plagues God Used To Smite The Egyptians
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-lesser-known-plagues-god-used-to-smite-the-egyptians

Causing the WiFi to go down for 15 whole minutes: It was nearly impossible to get anything done.

Floor Legos: They covered the entire land. It was a time of horrific pain and suffering.

All shopping carts had one squeaky, wobbly wheel: Every trip to the store was a loathsome experience. 

The gay frogs: You've heard about the plague of frogs? The gay ones were even worse.

Turning the Nile River into Bud Light: It's what turned the frogs gay.
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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HankB

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #454 on: February 15, 2024, 02:31:25 PM »
10 Lesser-Known Plagues God Used To Smite The Egyptians
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-lesser-known-plagues-god-used-to-smite-the-egyptians

Causing the WiFi to go down for 15 whole minutes: It was nearly impossible to get anything done.

Floor Legos: They covered the entire land. It was a time of horrific pain and suffering.

All shopping carts had one squeaky, wobbly wheel: Every trip to the store was a loathsome experience. 

The gay frogs: You've heard about the plague of frogs? The gay ones were even worse.

Turning the Nile River into Bud Light: It's what turned the frogs gay.
Then the Bee mentions lesser known plague #10: "The hemorrhoid incident: Thankfully, God was merciful and left this one out of the Bible."

Well, maybe when it comes to Egypt, but they may not be left out of the Bible entirely. According to 1 Samuel 5—6 (KJV), God afflicts the Philistines with emerods for taking the Ark. Some translations equate "emerods" with hemorrhoids. We're not really sure today - translations aren't perfect - but it's a quite definite maybe. (I'm NOT a Biblical scholar - it's just that after 8 years of Catholic elementary school, a few things still stand out in my memory.)
Trump won in 2016. Democrats haven't been so offended since Republicans came along and freed their slaves.
Sometimes I wonder if the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it. - Mark Twain
Government is a broker in pillage, and every election is a sort of advance auction in stolen goods. - H.L. Mencken
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #455 on: February 15, 2024, 03:52:42 PM »
Sony Proudly Announces That 'Madame Web' Is Breaking Box Office Records In At Least Two Of The 10,000 Multiverses
https://babylonbee.com/news/sony-proudly-announces-that-madame-web-is-breaking-box-office-records-in-at-least-two-of-the-10000-multiverses
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #456 on: February 16, 2024, 04:30:19 PM »
Russian Opposition Leader Dies In Tragic 'Swallowing An Entire Gallon Of Cyanide' Accident
https://babylonbee.com/news/russian-opposition-leader-dies-in-tragic-swallowing-an-entire-gallon-of-cyanide-accident
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #457 on: February 17, 2024, 10:23:27 AM »
Breakthrough Treatment Discovered For Male Depression Called 'Watching Tombstone'
https://babylonbee.com/news/breakthrough-treatment-discovered-for-male-depression-called-watching-tombstone
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #458 on: February 17, 2024, 04:17:38 PM »
 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Amazing New Technology Sure To Advance Mankind To The Next Level Of Consciousn - Never Mind, They're Just Using It To Make Porn Again
https://babylonbee.com/news/amazing-new-technology-sure-to-advance-mankind-to-the-next-level-of-consciousn---never-mind-theyre-just-using-it-to-make-porn-again
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

Angel Eyes

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Ben

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #460 on: February 19, 2024, 07:41:00 PM »
https://babylonbee.com/news/study-shows-10-out-of-10-babies-prefer-female-boobs

Related, Britain's health service claims that chemically laced "male breast milk" is as good for babies as real breast milk. These whackos will harm babies just to prove that men can breast feed.

https://twitchy.com/grateful-calvin/2024/02/19/nhs-trans-womens-milk-as-good-as-breast-milk-n2393073
"I'm a foolish old man that has been drawn into a wild goose chase by a harpy in trousers and a nincompoop."

Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #461 on: February 19, 2024, 09:53:19 PM »
Related, Britain's health service claims that chemically laced "male breast milk" is as good for babies as real breast milk. These whackos will harm babies just to prove that men can breast feed.

https://twitchy.com/grateful-calvin/2024/02/19/nhs-trans-womens-milk-as-good-as-breast-milk-n2393073

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the Babylon Bee article was in response to that report.
"I make love to men daily, but in the imagination."
                         - Barack Obama

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #462 on: February 20, 2024, 11:28:42 AM »
C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien Sent To Opposite Corners Of Heaven After Arguing About The Proper Use Of Allegory Again
https://babylonbee.com/news/cs-lewis-jrr-tolkien-sent-to-opposite-corners-of-heaven-after-arguing-about-the-proper-use-of-allegory-again
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #463 on: February 20, 2024, 11:45:11 AM »
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #464 on: February 20, 2024, 11:15:21 PM »
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-major-figures-from-the-bible-their-political-parties-revealed

Quote
Job: Republican. Couldn't stop losing.
Peter: Denied party affiliation three times.
Satan: Democrat. Founder of the party.
Jesus: Republican. Everybody knows this.
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #465 on: February 22, 2024, 06:55:06 AM »
9 Items Conservatives Must Stockpile To Protect Themselves In Case Biden Wins
https://babylonbee.com/news/9-items-conservatives-must-stockpile-to-protect-themselves-in-case-biden-wins

"Earplugs: Odds are, you'll be hearing a lot of Kamala cackling before too long."

Not funny
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #466 on: February 24, 2024, 07:51:57 AM »
Excited Netflix Writers Turn To Google Gemini For New Show Ideas
https://babylonbee.com/news/excited-netflix-writers-turn-to-google-gemini-for-new-show-ideas
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #467 on: February 24, 2024, 03:25:31 PM »
New York Prosecutes Couple For Fraud For Listing Their House For $499,000 When It Ultimately Sold For $485,000
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-york-prosecutes-couple-for-fraud-for-listing-their-house-for-499000-when-it-ultimately-sold-for-485000
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #468 on: February 27, 2024, 07:43:23 PM »
Progressives Open Suicide Hotline That Tells People To Go Ahead And Kill Themselves So Long As It's For Palestine
https://babylonbee.com/news/progressives-open-suicide-hotline-that-tells-people-to-go-ahead-and-kill-themselves-so-long-as-its-for-palestine
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #469 on: February 27, 2024, 07:44:12 PM »
Hunter Biden Jealous After Don Jr. Receives Envelope Of White Powder
https://babylonbee.com/news/hunter-biden-jealous-after-don-jr-receives-envelope-of-white-powder
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #470 on: February 29, 2024, 02:21:59 PM »
We Asked 11 Famous Politicians What Their Favorite Bible Verse Was, And Here's What They Said
https://babylonbee.com/news/we-asked-11-famous-politicians-what-their-favorite-bible-verse-was-and-heres-what-they-said
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #471 on: February 29, 2024, 03:39:45 PM »
"Doggies are angel babies!" -- my wife

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #472 on: February 29, 2024, 05:58:20 PM »
Stop giving them ideas!

Ballot Drop Boxes Installed Along Border Wall
https://babylonbee.com/news/ballot-drop-boxes-installed-along-border-wall
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes