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Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 88366 times)

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #625 on: July 17, 2024, 09:52:47 PM »
'Welp, Nothing We Can Do Now,' Sighs Secret Service After Assassin Climbs On Modestly Sloped Roof
https://babylonbee.com/news/welp-nothing-we-can-do-now-sighs-secret-service-after-assassin-climbs-on-modestly-sloped-roof
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #626 on: July 17, 2024, 09:53:45 PM »
Secret Service Director Assures Nation She Wasn't Trying To Get Trump Killed, She's Just Extremely Incompetent
https://babylonbee.com/news/secret-service-director-assures-nation-she-wasnt-trying-to-get-trump-killed-shes-just-bad-at-her-job
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #627 on: July 18, 2024, 12:14:29 PM »
Republicans Concerned It’s Going To Be Harder Than Usual To Blow This Election
https://babylonbee.com/news/republicans-concerned-that-its-going-to-be-harder-than-usual-to-blow-this-election
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #628 on: July 18, 2024, 06:38:05 PM »
Insiders Confirm That Trump's Speech Tonight Will Include Numerous, Unpredictable, And Randomly Spaced Rapid Head Turns
https://babylonbee.com/news/insiders-confirm-that-trumps-speech-tonight-will-include-numerous-unpredictable-and-randomly-spaced-rapid-head-turns
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #629 on: July 19, 2024, 09:35:37 AM »
Quote
Viewer Advisory Added To 'Fiddler On The Roof' Due To Intense Pitched Roof Scene
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #630 on: July 19, 2024, 09:38:39 AM »
I hope the BB never loses their touch
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #631 on: July 19, 2024, 06:53:58 PM »
Secret Service Says It Is Working Tirelessly To Investigate Anyone Criticizing Their Incompetence
https://babylonbee.com/news/secret-service-says-it-is-working-tirelessly-to-investigate-anyone-criticizing-their-incompetence
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #632 on: July 19, 2024, 06:55:16 PM »
Revealed: Biden's Nickname For Each Member Of His Administration
https://babylonbee.com/news/revealed-bidens-nickname-for-each-member-of-his-administration

4. Kamala Harris: "Cackles McGee"
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #633 on: July 20, 2024, 07:46:27 PM »
Democratic Party Leaders Vow To Save Democracy By Overruling Voters, Staging Coup
https://babylonbee.com/news/democratic-party-leaders-vow-to-save-democracy-by-overruling-voters-staging-coup
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #634 on: July 20, 2024, 07:53:10 PM »
Quote from: WLJ on July 20, 2024, 07:46:27 PM
Democratic Party Leaders Vow To Save Democracy By Overruling Voters, Staging Coup
https://babylonbee.com/news/democratic-party-leaders-vow-to-save-democracy-by-overruling-voters-staging-coup

Nothing new there.  It is the party of "super delegates" after all.
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"... and now I want to hand it over to the president of Ukraine who has as much courage as he has determination.  Ladies and gentlemen, President Putin."
                          - Joe Biden, July 11, 2024

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #635 on: July 21, 2024, 01:11:33 AM »
What If Biden Steps Down? The 9 Things That Would Happen Next
https://babylonbee.com/news/what-happens-if-biden-steps-down-the-7-steps-that-will-transpire-next

3. Kamala Harris will be sworn in whenever she regains consciousness from her cackling fit: Buckle up, Justice Roberts.

4. Jill Biden will then propose to Kamala Harris: The First Lady isn't giving up that easy.
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #636 on: July 21, 2024, 01:52:26 AM »
Quote from: WLJ on July 21, 2024, 01:11:33 AM
What If Biden Steps Down? The 9 Things That Would Happen Next
https://babylonbee.com/news/what-happens-if-biden-steps-down-the-7-steps-that-will-transpire-next

3. Kamala Harris will be sworn in whenever she regains consciousness from her cackling fit: Buckle up, Justice Roberts.

4. Jill Biden will then propose to Kamala Harris: The First Lady isn't giving up that easy.

Fact-checker here: Number 7 is correct, which is obvious to anyone who's seen Zoolander. As for number 8, DOCTOR Jill Biden will insist on playing herself in the film. She's ready for her close-up, Mr. DeMille.
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Can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are the gift of God?
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WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #637 on: July 21, 2024, 04:52:01 PM »
Aides Struggling To Figure Out How To Break The News To Biden That He Dropped Out
https://babylonbee.com/news/aides-figuring-out-how-to-break-the-news-to-biden-that-he-dropped-out
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #638 on: July 21, 2024, 04:52:33 PM »
Quote
Party That Claimed Biden Was Sharp For Past 4 Years Now Says Kamala Harris Is Brilliant
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #639 on: July 22, 2024, 03:29:31 PM »
'Sorry, No Refunds,' Says Hunter Biden To All The Foreign Governments That Sent Him Bribes
https://babylonbee.com/news/sorry-no-refunds-says-hunter-biden-to-all-the-foreign-governments-that-sent-him-bribes
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #640 on: July 30, 2024, 05:01:17 PM »
Google Search Confirms Kamala Harris Did Not Exist Prior To July 22, 2024
https://babylonbee.com/news/google-search-confirms-kamala-harris-did-not-exist-prior-to-july-22-2024
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #641 on: July 30, 2024, 05:02:00 PM »
Democrats Condemn Obviously Manipulated Audio Of Kamala Harris Where She Sounds Sober
https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-condemn-obviously-manipulated-audio-of-kamala-harris-where-she-sounds-sober
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #642 on: July 30, 2024, 05:02:41 PM »
Black Americans Patiently Waiting For Liberal White Woman To Tell Them Who To Vote For
https://babylonbee.com/news/black-men-listen-closely-as-liberal-white-women-instruct-them-who-to-vote-for
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #643 on: August 01, 2024, 07:31:15 PM »
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #644 on: August 01, 2024, 07:32:00 PM »
9/11 Mastermind Given Plea Deal After FBI Confirms He Was Not Present At Capitol January 6th
https://babylonbee.com/news/911-mastermind-given-plea-deal-after-fbi-confirms-he-was-not-present-at-capitol-january-6th
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #645 on: August 02, 2024, 05:39:01 PM »
‘'DEI Hire' Is A Slur,’ Explains Head Of DEI Hiring Department
https://babylonbee.com/news/dei-hire-is-a-slur-explains-head-of-dei-hiring-department
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #646 on: August 04, 2024, 03:34:13 PM »
Kamala Harris Spends Flight Looking For Cloud Where Her Data Is Stored
https://babylonbee.com/news/kamala-harris-spends-flight-looking-for-cloud-where-her-data-is-stored
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #647 on: August 06, 2024, 05:26:34 AM »
British Man Forced To Use Finger Guns To Fight Off Knife Attack
https://babylonbee.com/news/british-man-forced-to-use-finger-guns-to-fight-off-knife-attack
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #648 on: August 08, 2024, 03:36:20 PM »
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"... and now I want to hand it over to the president of Ukraine who has as much courage as he has determination.  Ladies and gentlemen, President Putin."
                          - Joe Biden, July 11, 2024

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #649 on: August 10, 2024, 09:51:41 AM »
Family Heads To Public Pool For Relaxing Day Splashing In Other People's Urine
https://babylonbee.com/news/family-heads-to-public-pool-for-relaxing-day-splashing-in-other-peoples-urine
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us".
- Calvin and Hobbes

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi
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