« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 32 33 [34] 35

Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 168993 times)

Angel Eyes

  • Lying dog-faced pony soldier
  • friend
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 13,906
  • You're not diggin'
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #825 on: March 26, 2025, 04:41:40 PM »
State Farm now offering optional "Car Torched by Psychotic Purple-Haired Weirdo" coverage:

https://babylonbee.com/news/state-farm-now-offering-optional-car-torched-by-psychotic-purple-haired-weirdo-coverage

I predict the premiums will be astronomical.
Report to moderator   Logged
I've renamed my AR-15 to MS-13 so Democrats will protect it.

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #826 on: March 27, 2025, 01:18:59 PM »
British Prime Minister Announces Prosecution Of King Arthur For Pulling Dangerous Sword From Stone
https://babylonbee.com/news/king-arthur-prosecuted-by-british-authorities-for-pulling-dangerous-sword-from-stone
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

230RN

  • friend
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 19,785
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #827 on: March 27, 2025, 02:35:34 PM »
"It's really a great investment, depending on the vehicle," explained (State Farm) agent Tom Reese. "If you live in a small town, or if you drive a Subaru, we don't recommend it. You're clear. Anyone else, you should really consider adding State Farm's exclusive 'purple weirdo' protection package."

Another reason to love my '97 Subie-Doobie. It's just too damned good a car to sell.  Besides, it's still got one good undamaged corner (right rear) to go.
Report to moderator   Logged

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #828 on: March 28, 2025, 05:33:32 PM »
Manufacturer Recalls Faulty Shopping Carts With 4 Functioning Wheels
https://babylonbee.com/news/manufacturer-recalls-faulty-shopping-carts-with-4-functioning-wheels
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #829 on: March 31, 2025, 10:47:59 AM »
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #830 on: April 01, 2025, 08:39:47 PM »
In Hilarious April Fools Joke, Congress Announces They Are Working Hard To Serve The American People
https://babylonbee.com/news/in-hilarious-april-fools-joke-congress-announces-they-are-working-hard-to-serve-the-american-people
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #831 on: April 01, 2025, 08:41:03 PM »
 :rofl:

Awkward: Pete Buttigieg Returns To White House From Maternity Leave
https://babylonbee.com/news/awkward-pete-buttigieg-returns-to-white-house-from-maternity-leave

Quote
Administration staffers were caught off guard by a painfully awkward situation today as former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg returned to the White House from his maternity leave.

Buttigieg had gone on an extended break after his husband adopted twins in 2021, only returning this morning to find that the entire Biden administration had been replaced and his job given to someone else.
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #832 on: April 16, 2025, 12:41:47 PM »
 :rofl:

Taste Of Pee In A Bottle Improved By Slice Of Lime
https://babylonbee.com/news/taste-of-pee-in-a-bottle-improved-by-slice-of-lime
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Angel Eyes

  • Lying dog-faced pony soldier
  • friend
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 13,906
  • You're not diggin'
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #833 on: April 16, 2025, 12:56:07 PM »
Report to moderator   Logged
I've renamed my AR-15 to MS-13 so Democrats will protect it.

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #834 on: April 17, 2025, 08:30:50 AM »
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #835 on: April 17, 2025, 09:19:07 AM »
Chicago Mayor Warns That If Local Walmart Locations Close People Will Have Fewer Places To Shoplift
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-chicago-mayor-warns-that-if-local-walmart-locations-close-people-will-have-fewer-places-to-shoplift
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #836 on: April 17, 2025, 05:33:06 PM »
Liberals Warn Enforcing Immigration Law Is A Slippery Slope That May Lead To Enforcing Other Laws
https://babylonbee.com/news/liberals-warn-enforcing-immigration-law-is-slippery-slope-that-may-lead-to-enforcing-other-laws
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #837 on: April 19, 2025, 11:08:01 AM »
Life Hack: Get Real Starbucks Taste At Home By Dumping Hot Water Over Cigarette Ashes
https://babylonbee.com/news/life-hack-get-real-starbucks-taste-at-home-by-dumping-hot-water-over-cigarette-ashes

So many people have so much crap put in their coffee that they don't notice the burnt flavor SB's coffee has which seemingly works well with flavored coffee but not so much with straight black coffee.
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #838 on: April 22, 2025, 07:19:18 PM »
After Food Dye Ban, Fruity Pebbles To Be Changed To Whitey Pebbles
https://babylonbee.com/news/fruity-pebbles-to-be-changed-to-whitey-pebbles
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #839 on: April 22, 2025, 07:20:15 PM »
Democrats Begin Chugging Artificial Food Dyes To Protest RFK
https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-begin-chugging-artificial-food-dyes-to-protest-rfk
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #840 on: April 23, 2025, 08:55:27 AM »
TBB being too real for comfort again

Quote
A Columbia University student later identified as Luke Dillon left a lecture on microaggressions a little early so he could make it to the "Kill the Jews" rally on time.

The University happily hosted the rally for mass murder and rape after being assured that no one would be misgendered. "Hate speech has no place here at Columbia," assured President Minouche Shafik. "We affirm everyone's right, regardless of gender, to feel safe to express their deep hatred and longing to kill Jewish people. That's why Columbia is more than a school - it's a family."

Ivy League Student Leaves Lecture On Microaggressions To Attend ‘Kill The Jews’ Rally
https://babylonbee.com/news/harvard-student-leaves-lecture-on-microaggressions-to-attend-kill-the-jews-rally
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #841 on: April 23, 2025, 04:33:07 PM »
White House Tells Americans To Reply ‘STOP’ If They No Longer Wish To Receive Hegseth’s Texts About Upcoming Military Strikes
https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-tells-americans-to-reply-stop-if-they-no-longer-wish-to-receive-hegseths-texts-about-upcoming-military-strikes
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #842 on: April 24, 2025, 01:28:59 PM »
God Introduces New Hydrating, Zero Sugar Beverage With No Artificial Dyes
https://babylonbee.com/news/god-introduces-new-hydrating-zero-sugar-beverage-with-no-artificial-dyes
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #843 on: April 24, 2025, 01:36:13 PM »
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Angel Eyes

  • Lying dog-faced pony soldier
  • friend
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 13,906
  • You're not diggin'
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #844 on: April 30, 2025, 12:43:21 PM »

Report to moderator   Logged
I've renamed my AR-15 to MS-13 so Democrats will protect it.

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #845 on: April 30, 2025, 01:43:50 PM »
Parents Distraught After Finding Soccer Ball Under Son’s Bed
https://babylonbee.com/news/parents-distraught-after-finding-soccer-ball-under-sons-bed
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #846 on: April 30, 2025, 08:24:37 PM »
Media Says No Evidence Demon-Horned Man With Sith Tattoos And Red Lightsaber A Member Of The Sith
https://babylonbee.com/news/media-says-no-evidence-demon-horned-man-with-sith-tattoos-and-red-lightsaber-a-member-of-the-sith
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #847 on: April 30, 2025, 08:26:53 PM »
Are Your Kids Possessed By Demons Or Just Normal Toddlers? How To Tell The Difference
https://babylonbee.com/news/are-your-kids-possessed-by-demons-or-just-normal-toddlers-how-to-tell-the-difference

Normal Toddler: Their head spins clockwise their shoulders like a top as they projectile vomit across the room.
Demon-Possessed: Head spins counterclockwise.

 :rofl:
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #848 on: April 30, 2025, 09:04:46 PM »
Yep

Doctors Confirm Life After Age 35 Is Just Endless Cycle Of Dieting And Back Pain Until You Die
https://babylonbee.com/news/doctors-confirm-life-after-age-35-is-just-endless-cycle-of-dieting-and-back-pain-until-you-die
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

  • friends
  • Senior Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 37,252
  • On Patrol In The Epsilon Eridani System
Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #849 on: May 01, 2025, 10:15:03 AM »
Baby Patiently Waiting Until Fully Strapped In Car Seat To Unleash Diaper Apocalypse
https://babylonbee.com/news/baby-patiently-waiting-until-fully-strapped-in-car-seat-to-unleash-diaper-apocalypse
Report to moderator   Logged
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi
Pages: 1 ... 32 33 [34] 35
« previous next »