Author Topic: Babylon Bee  (Read 99634 times)

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #450 on: February 12, 2024, 02:34:00 PM »
San Franciscans Loot Slightly More Than Usual Following Super Bowl Loss
https://babylonbee.com/news/san-franciscans-loot-slightly-more-than-usual-following-super-bowl-loss
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #451 on: February 12, 2024, 02:34:26 PM »
Horrifying Study Finds More Trans People Have Pretend-Died Under DeSantis Than Any Other Governor In History
https://babylonbee.com/news/horrifying-study-finds-more-trans-people-have-pretend-died-under-desantis-than-any-other-governor-in-history
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #452 on: February 14, 2024, 02:02:47 PM »
Domestic Extremists All Helpfully Label Themselves For FBI
https://babylonbee.com/news/domestic-extremists-all-helpfully-label-themselves-for-fbi
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #453 on: February 15, 2024, 12:42:59 PM »
10 Lesser-Known Plagues God Used To Smite The Egyptians
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-lesser-known-plagues-god-used-to-smite-the-egyptians

Causing the WiFi to go down for 15 whole minutes: It was nearly impossible to get anything done.

Floor Legos: They covered the entire land. It was a time of horrific pain and suffering.

All shopping carts had one squeaky, wobbly wheel: Every trip to the store was a loathsome experience. 

The gay frogs: You've heard about the plague of frogs? The gay ones were even worse.

Turning the Nile River into Bud Light: It's what turned the frogs gay.
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

HankB

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #454 on: February 15, 2024, 02:31:25 PM »
10 Lesser-Known Plagues God Used To Smite The Egyptians
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-lesser-known-plagues-god-used-to-smite-the-egyptians

Causing the WiFi to go down for 15 whole minutes: It was nearly impossible to get anything done.

Floor Legos: They covered the entire land. It was a time of horrific pain and suffering.

All shopping carts had one squeaky, wobbly wheel: Every trip to the store was a loathsome experience. 

The gay frogs: You've heard about the plague of frogs? The gay ones were even worse.

Turning the Nile River into Bud Light: It's what turned the frogs gay.
Then the Bee mentions lesser known plague #10: "The hemorrhoid incident: Thankfully, God was merciful and left this one out of the Bible."

Well, maybe when it comes to Egypt, but they may not be left out of the Bible entirely. According to 1 Samuel 5—6 (KJV), God afflicts the Philistines with emerods for taking the Ark. Some translations equate "emerods" with hemorrhoids. We're not really sure today - translations aren't perfect - but it's a quite definite maybe. (I'm NOT a Biblical scholar - it's just that after 8 years of Catholic elementary school, a few things still stand out in my memory.)
Trump won in 2016. And again in 2024. Democrats haven't been so offended since Republicans came along and freed their slaves.
Sometimes I wonder if the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it. - Mark Twain
Government is a broker in pillage, and every election is a sort of advance auction in stolen goods. - H.L. Mencken
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #455 on: February 15, 2024, 03:52:42 PM »
Sony Proudly Announces That 'Madame Web' Is Breaking Box Office Records In At Least Two Of The 10,000 Multiverses
https://babylonbee.com/news/sony-proudly-announces-that-madame-web-is-breaking-box-office-records-in-at-least-two-of-the-10000-multiverses
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #456 on: February 16, 2024, 04:30:19 PM »
Russian Opposition Leader Dies In Tragic 'Swallowing An Entire Gallon Of Cyanide' Accident
https://babylonbee.com/news/russian-opposition-leader-dies-in-tragic-swallowing-an-entire-gallon-of-cyanide-accident
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #457 on: February 17, 2024, 10:23:27 AM »
Breakthrough Treatment Discovered For Male Depression Called 'Watching Tombstone'
https://babylonbee.com/news/breakthrough-treatment-discovered-for-male-depression-called-watching-tombstone
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #458 on: February 17, 2024, 04:17:38 PM »
 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Amazing New Technology Sure To Advance Mankind To The Next Level Of Consciousn - Never Mind, They're Just Using It To Make Porn Again
https://babylonbee.com/news/amazing-new-technology-sure-to-advance-mankind-to-the-next-level-of-consciousn---never-mind-theyre-just-using-it-to-make-porn-again
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Angel Eyes

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"... and now I want to hand it over to the president of Ukraine who has as much courage as he has determination.  Ladies and gentlemen, President Putin."
                          - Joe Biden, July 11, 2024

Ben

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #460 on: February 19, 2024, 07:41:00 PM »
https://babylonbee.com/news/study-shows-10-out-of-10-babies-prefer-female-boobs

Related, Britain's health service claims that chemically laced "male breast milk" is as good for babies as real breast milk. These whackos will harm babies just to prove that men can breast feed.

https://twitchy.com/grateful-calvin/2024/02/19/nhs-trans-womens-milk-as-good-as-breast-milk-n2393073
"I'm a foolish old man that has been drawn into a wild goose chase by a harpy in trousers and a nincompoop."

Angel Eyes

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #461 on: February 19, 2024, 09:53:19 PM »
Related, Britain's health service claims that chemically laced "male breast milk" is as good for babies as real breast milk. These whackos will harm babies just to prove that men can breast feed.

https://twitchy.com/grateful-calvin/2024/02/19/nhs-trans-womens-milk-as-good-as-breast-milk-n2393073

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the Babylon Bee article was in response to that report.
"... and now I want to hand it over to the president of Ukraine who has as much courage as he has determination.  Ladies and gentlemen, President Putin."
                          - Joe Biden, July 11, 2024

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #462 on: February 20, 2024, 11:28:42 AM »
C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien Sent To Opposite Corners Of Heaven After Arguing About The Proper Use Of Allegory Again
https://babylonbee.com/news/cs-lewis-jrr-tolkien-sent-to-opposite-corners-of-heaven-after-arguing-about-the-proper-use-of-allegory-again
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #463 on: February 20, 2024, 11:45:11 AM »
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #464 on: February 20, 2024, 11:15:21 PM »
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-major-figures-from-the-bible-their-political-parties-revealed

Quote
Job: Republican. Couldn't stop losing.
Peter: Denied party affiliation three times.
Satan: Democrat. Founder of the party.
Jesus: Republican. Everybody knows this.
Can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are the gift of God?
--Thomas Jefferson

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #465 on: February 22, 2024, 06:55:06 AM »
9 Items Conservatives Must Stockpile To Protect Themselves In Case Biden Wins
https://babylonbee.com/news/9-items-conservatives-must-stockpile-to-protect-themselves-in-case-biden-wins

"Earplugs: Odds are, you'll be hearing a lot of Kamala cackling before too long."

Not funny
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #466 on: February 24, 2024, 07:51:57 AM »
Excited Netflix Writers Turn To Google Gemini For New Show Ideas
https://babylonbee.com/news/excited-netflix-writers-turn-to-google-gemini-for-new-show-ideas
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #467 on: February 24, 2024, 03:25:31 PM »
New York Prosecutes Couple For Fraud For Listing Their House For $499,000 When It Ultimately Sold For $485,000
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-york-prosecutes-couple-for-fraud-for-listing-their-house-for-499000-when-it-ultimately-sold-for-485000
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #468 on: February 27, 2024, 07:43:23 PM »
Progressives Open Suicide Hotline That Tells People To Go Ahead And Kill Themselves So Long As It's For Palestine
https://babylonbee.com/news/progressives-open-suicide-hotline-that-tells-people-to-go-ahead-and-kill-themselves-so-long-as-its-for-palestine
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #469 on: February 27, 2024, 07:44:12 PM »
Hunter Biden Jealous After Don Jr. Receives Envelope Of White Powder
https://babylonbee.com/news/hunter-biden-jealous-after-don-jr-receives-envelope-of-white-powder
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #470 on: February 29, 2024, 02:21:59 PM »
We Asked 11 Famous Politicians What Their Favorite Bible Verse Was, And Here's What They Said
https://babylonbee.com/news/we-asked-11-famous-politicians-what-their-favorite-bible-verse-was-and-heres-what-they-said
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

Perd Hapley

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #471 on: February 29, 2024, 03:39:45 PM »
Can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are the gift of God?
--Thomas Jefferson

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #472 on: February 29, 2024, 05:58:20 PM »
Stop giving them ideas!

Ballot Drop Boxes Installed Along Border Wall
https://babylonbee.com/news/ballot-drop-boxes-installed-along-border-wall
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #473 on: March 01, 2024, 08:17:29 PM »
What Does Gen Z Want In A Job? 10 Most Common Demands
https://babylonbee.com/news/what-does-gen-z-want-in-a-job-10-most-common-demands

Quote
10. The following months off:

    February: Black History Month
    March: Women's History Month
    April: Black Women's History Month
    June: Pride Month
    September: Hispanic Heritage Month
    October: Bullying Prevention Month
    November: Native American History Month
    December: AIDS Awareness Month
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi

WLJ

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Re: Babylon Bee
« Reply #474 on: March 04, 2024, 04:51:19 PM »
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
― William F. Buckley

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
― George Orwell, 1984

“Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason.”
― James Randi