But I'm impressed that you are a qualified Schnutze with a Schnur to prove it from the Bundeswehr !
Yea, I'm impressed that I managed to qual myself. Read on.
The only foreign device I'm authorized to wear is the Bundeswehr Schnutzenschnur Qualification cord/badge
Hey, I've got one of those! That's some cool sh!te isn't it? To play with some other guy's toys?
OK, reality check: bronze, silver or gold?
I played with toys from the UK, France, Germany, Spain, Switzerland, Sweden, Ireland, Italy, Norway, Finland, Poland, Ukraine, and Bulgarians. Probably forgetting a couple countries. Plus a couple non-government paras.
Bronze. And it was the most amazing shooting since Simo Hayha. And once you hear the story, you'll agree.
So there I was, thinking I was hot stuff. I was pretty good with the G36, my 200m grouping looked like my 16's grouping at 50m. I was a freakin natural with the P8 (Bundeswehr version of the H&K USP), I was shooting the zip ties off the targets. Ha! Showing the Germans how an American shoots!
Since I speak a bit of German, I got to small talking and bragging with the Germans. They all nod sagely. Finally, the German Sergeant Major smiles and asks how well I shoot during distracting surroundings. I naturally brush it off and joke around. He continues smiling and walks off. This should have been my warning to run for the hills.
So anyways, it's the final event. The MG3, which is basically the same thing as an MG42. It has an insanely high cyclic rate, and you only have 15 rds to qual with. You have to hit a number of different targets, all blended in with their surroundings. I get in position and wait for the instructor, guy named Karl. And wait. And wait. Then I hear a beautiful voice that is as un-Karl as possible. I glance over, and the most beautiful woman in the world (I had been deployed for maybe 7 months at that point, bear with me) with the most wonderful accent starts explaining how to use the same basic machinegun that killed more than a few of my countrymen back during WWII.
Thankfully, the freakin MG3 is easy to operate, because I didn't catch a single bit of information she said. Ok, zen moment... Zen moment. Ignore the very nice hands guiding the loading of the machine gun. Ignore the very nice perfume... ZEN, DAMNIT, ZEN!
After taking a small break, I aim carefully, and let loose a short burst. Then something whacks me in the back of the kevlar, pushing my face into the shooting mat. Something moves onto my back, and wiggles around doing something to the MG3. Gods know what. After an eternity, she climbs off, taps my k-pot, smiles, and says "Ok to shoot!"
...
No, Fraulein, I ain't.
DIRTY SNEAKY GERMANS! EVIL, EVIL GERMANS! My grandfather warned me about 'em, but NOOO, they have to take their revenge out on me! Geesh, you'd have thought we bombed their country into the Stone Age or something.
Zen concentration? Yea, that was out the window.
After a long moment, I ready the M3 and somehow managed to eek out a passing score. I'm surprised I hit a single target. After I fire the last round, I walked off the range and chained smoked half a pack.
Still have the award, paperwork, score booklet and sarcastic note written in German in my book of citations. As a reminder to never, never underestimate the sneakiness of one's former enemies.
AwardMe with an Spanish MG3 - Seeing as no one took a photo of me with the German MG3 because they were all laughing too hysterically
Coworker with German suppressed sniper rifleBenefits of Joint Cooperation
