What did you do recently to "Live Life"? --- What's your recent realization?

[Live Life]

I retired five years ago on the 4th of July, 2019 to celebrate my "Independence from work" ... And feel like I have been in "Retirement Orientation" since and not really "Retired, retired".   

After 30 years with wife, we spent quite a bit of time in recent years on reflecting to realize we lived life working hard and pursuing to fulfill what others/society told us that were important, not what our hearts truly desired.

And we refocused pursuit of "Living Life" for our hearts.

So, What did you do recently to "Live Life"?  And What's your recent realization/takeaway/understanding/Aha/light bulb moment regarding life?

[Live Life]

I realized after retirement that the notion of "I will have plenty of free time to do whatever I want once I retire" was not true. 

I have never worked so hard in my life after retirement that now it means I am TIRED, over and over and over.  Everyone comes to you and say, "You are retired ... Plenty of free time on your hands ... BTW, can you help me do blah blah blah" ... 

Immediately after retirement, wife wipes the white board clean and starts her "Honey Do" list of things and projects.  She goes, "You worked for others before retirement and now you work for me". 

So, there's no day off, no calling in sick, no union breaks, no vacation, no rest ... just more work.

[RocketMan]

Much truth in both of your posts.  I retired just a few months before you, hoping to have at least a little free time.  Those hopes were immediately shattered.  I have never been so busy.  House work, yard work, helping my wife with her online business, lots of stuff at church (I'm the primary tech guy), etc., etc., and more etc.

[BobR]

I am much like you two, retired into a life of indentured servitude to my wife. Lots of little things to do. But also because of more recent life happenings we both realize our time here is finite and the end is much closer then the beginning. We do what we can when we can. So because of that a few hobbies I used to enjoy have taken a back seat to life as we prepare for the celestial transfer.


bob

[bedlamite]

Single, plan on retiring in about 5 years, long before I'm eligible for SS. Vacation has usually been spent on the motorcycle. Rebuilt my Jeep TJ this year, fresh 4.0 and Dana 60 axles, looking forward to spending extended time away from civilization.

No real recent realizations, but I decided a long time ago I was gonna do what I want to, not what others told me I should do.

[Live Life]

What did you do recently to "Live Life"?

Daughter came over for lunch and we made her favorites ... Japchae and pot stickers - https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/japchae

[Tuco]

I asked him about dinosaurs and realized he doesn't know squat about them.

[bedlamite]

I asked him about dinosaurs and realized he doesn't know squat about them.

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal

[Live Life]

I asked him about dinosaurs and realized he doesn't know squat about them.

I like dinosaurs ... Especially purple one my daughter liked, named Barney.

[Lennyjoe]

I’m still working towards retirement, but am living every day like it’s my last.

[Kingcreek]

My wife and I both retired sept 27 this year. We are busy as hell and putting more miles on 2 vehicles every day. We both volunteer and I am an executive director of an education non profit 12-15 hours per week (flexible schedule).
I haven’t done the hunting I thought I would do.
I have a mountain of firewood logs waiting to be cut split and stacked.
The gutters have been cleaned, the windows are clean, the patio furniture is put away, and the tractor is ready for snow plowing if needed.
I haven’t run out of work or projects yet and I’m pretty sure that no matter how long I live I will still have unfinished projects.

[230RN]

Today's December 3rd 2024 and I was going to wait until the 10th to mention I've been  retired since  December 10th 2010.. Great retirement party, even my first Boss from when I was hired came to it even though she herself had been retired for three years.

That was a very pleasant surprise.

At the end of the sometimes sad gathering, my then-present  Boss lady jokingly told me to take the rest of the day off.  Laughter ensued, although that might have been a standard retirement joke.

Two months before, she had cried when I told her I was going to retire.

 Only went back to the old place twice, once to fill out a time sheet for my last two weeks, once to return a company library book I'd forgotten about.

I was single (having been married twice for almost 47% of my life, 71 years at the time), so I didn't assume a "new job" with a "new boss," but with all the new arrangements for this and that involved with retirement, for a while, it was like another job for a month or two. But there were no honeydo projects since I lived (still  do) in a well maintained senior citizen apartment.  Gutter-cleaning, snow shoveling and plowing, leaky  pipe fixing, all paid for in my rent.

So I will have been retired for exactly 14 years as of about 3:10 PM this coming Tuesday, 10 December, 2024.

And I took the rest of the day off.

Terry, 230RN

[Live Life]

Wife and I have been supporters of "Pay It Forward" notion during our 30 years of marriage - https://www.dictionary.com/e/pop-culture/pay-it-forward/

I was introduced to "PIF" concept when a seasoned bullseye/PPC match shooter coworker took me under his wing to teach me to reload match grade rounds, trigger control and light gunsmith work starting with 2.5 lb trigger job on 1911 while providing all materials and components for several weeks.

When I tried to compensate him for his time and supplies, he declined saying he was "Paying it forward" generosity others have shown him and asked me to "Pay it forward" to others in need when opportunity arose.  Since, I have pursued the PIF notion and when I married, wife agreed that we should continue to apply the PIF practice in our marriage.

During my bachelor years, I worked with a charity group that built free houses in Mexico and I would sponsor the fuel cost of trips, all the Harbor Freight hand tools used (Which we left on each trip) and food for the entire group that traveled with me.  There is a church in Estero Beach south of Rosarito I built a playground out of redwood for the children to play as Christmas present (It took me several months to build part-time) and brought down a new exam table (I was helping a friend clear out his storage unit and new exam table in plastic caught my eye in another unit that was open.  When I asked, nobody wanted to buy it during auction and I got it for $50 right there for $3-$5K exam table) for the OB/GYN medical clinic we were building and pastor "Ramon" extended lifetime invitation to the church for me.

Wife and I maintained a dedicated PIF fund and after retirement, much of our surplus fund now goes to PIF efforts.  Over the decades, our used vehicles, instead of being traded in for new vehicles, have been PIF to needy families (1989 Suburban 4x4 in great running condition, 1995 Suburban 4x4 in good running condition, 1997 Suburban 4x4 with rebuilt engine and transmission in excellent running condition and 2003 Buick Le Sabre in great running condition).

We will often pick out select diners and every veteran table we encounter and quietly pay for their entire table tab with 40-50% tip and watch their reaction from the parking lot hiding in our car as we drive off.  Wait staff and managers know to not share our identity.

We have also worked with managers of grocery stores and Walmart to obtain $100+ gift cards to pay for select shoppers as they check out.

I have started paying for orders for vehicles behind me at Drive-Thru places and servers told me they have seen customers paying for orders behind them for 10-15 cars after I left. 

Wife has done anonymous delivery of new appliances and furniture for people/families she select/identify.  One struggling young couple raising children couldn't believe an entire livingroom furniture was being delivered.  Delivery driver assured them they got the right house.  Unlicensed framer who helped us with reroofing of one of our houses rebuilding his life received one of our Suburbans along with flat trailer and tools.

For 15 years at THR, I lost count of new reloader kits/set ups I have shipped out along with request for various equipment/components and especially brass I had 5 gallon buckets of as "PIF".  When I see great sales/Black Friday deals, I will often buy extra items to PIF.  One long-range shooter/hunter needed higher power scope but couldn't afford the cost so I drop-shipped an Athlon Argos Gen2 BTR 10-40x56mm (Which I like) and he was definitely surprised (He was a recipient of a new reloaders kit also).  I have PIF countless Bushnell Trophy, Redfield, Minox and even Leupold scopes and shooting/reloading accessories to those in need.  And when they offered to reciprocate/compensate, I explain and ask them to "Pay It Forward" to others in their lives when opportunity arises.

Fellow medic THR member bikerdoc who has passed away was active 2A supporter and would coordinate rally activities and I would sponsor lunch for the entire bus load of supporters.  When his retirement house kitchen floor needed repair, I setup a GoFundme page for him, which more than paid for the repair.

I will be able to draw from 401K starting next October when I turn 59.5 years old.  Wife and I already decided we would mostly PIF/blow the monthly gains to benefit others.

My notion of life is we came into this world with nothing and we will leave this world with nothing.  During the time we "live life", we just get to use/play with things of this world.

I used to think whoever died with most toys won but now believe whoever plays the most smiles at those who dies with toys. 

[HeroHog]

I have a friend 9 years my senior who has helped me with a few things on our car. I raced with him back in the EARLY 80s in the SCCA and we have been friends ever since. Each time he helps me I offer to treat him to his favorite libation/lunch/something and am always turned down. Last week he tightened up some bolts on my mobility scooter lift, manually, because his only impact wrench is pneumatic and dragging out the compressor and hose would have been a bigger pain. I asked if he didn't have an electric impact and he said no, he had the pneumatic one and never saw the need. I, as usual, offered to compensate him for his labor and, as usual, he declined. It just so happened that I had a small windfall and asked the wife if she minded if I dropped some $$$ on an electric impact for him and she agreed so we went to Harbor Freight and bought one of their better ones that came with a battery and charger, went to see him, handed it to him and said "This is for you and I am NOT taking it back. Here's the receipt should you need it and THANK YOU so much for all that you have done for us over the years!"
Not really "paying it forward" but he didn't expect it and repeatedly told me that I didn't need to do it. Each time I told him I knew that but we wanted to and how much we appreciated his help and kindness. I probably won't ever ask him for anything else as his years are starting to catch up with him and if I made his life a little easier when he worked on his race car, he still races his Mini, the happier I am.

[Perd Hapley]

So, What did you do recently to "Live Life"? 

I QUIT ANSWERING GOOFY INTERNET SURVEYS! AND GET OFF MY LAWN!

[Live Life]

friend 9 years my senior ... electric impact for him ... and said "... THANK YOU so much for all that you have done for us over the years!"

... his years are starting to catch up with him and if I made his life a little easier when he worked on his race car, he still races his Mini, the happier I am.

I am quite certain you made his life "a little easier" for sure, certainly warmed his heart.  If not now, certainly as years go by.

I QUIT ANSWERING GOOFY INTERNET SURVEYS!

I know what you mean.   Now, wife and I automatically delete all survey/polling inquiries, even on YT, and our lives are that much more enjoyable.

[230RN]

Matthew 6:19-21 NIV

Treasures in Heaven
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Yeah, that bank up there pays pretty good interest, too.

[Live Life]

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I think good question to ask is "What is your motivation?"

Having pursued and lived life with motivation of success, achievement and fulfillment of the "American Dream" of arriving at leisure of retirement, I found my heart still lacking something.  During 30 years with wife raising children, while I was focused on "work task" of Just Do It/Git 'Er Done/Be All You Can Be indoctrinated by various notions of the world (Which is not all bad and necessary to get things done), wife pointed out the virtues of smelling the flowers along the journey of life and taking the road less traveled.

Now, what motivates me are the notions of Carpe diem/seize the day, life is short, "When will you live life if not now?" and returning the 58 year old's life experience back to my 10 year old self along with my wife and asking, "What shall we do today? ... Let's have some fun."

I too have pursued life while "Building up treasures in heaven" but while sharing wife's virtues of smelling the flowers along the journey of life and taking the road less traveled like "Pay It Forward" started to fill that void in my heart and I realized the "treasures in heaven" currency is not bound by passage of time rather translatable to abundant life now.

When wife's sister visited us, I made steak and lobster lunch twice and shrimp scampi several times which she likes (Wife doesn't like lobster or shrimp but I do).  Surprised, she asked, "Steak and lobster for lunch?  What's the occasion?  What are we celebrating?" and I told her, "Lunch is the occasion and we are celebrating your presence with us."    Knowing that I did something her sister liked without reason made wife glad and I certainly "deposited many treasures in heaven" that translated to goodwill abundant currency from wife.

When our dogs Charity asks to play ball fetch and Faith asks to go for walks day or night, now my answer is "Yes, let's play ... Yes, let's look at the stars/moon in the night sky" and that void in my heart gets filled a bit more as I tell my wife, "Carpe diem, we are seizing the moment" 

Here's Charity who wants to play fetch ball day and night

[Live Life]

And here's Faith who loves night walks to look at the stars and the moon

[Live Life]

... we lived life working hard and pursuing to fulfill what others/society told us that were important, not what our hearts truly desired

... What did you do recently to "Live Life"?  And What's your recent realization/takeaway/understanding/Aha/light bulb moment regarding life?

Several years before retirement, my young doctor told me after she normalized all of my lab values over 2 years, she wanted me to work on diet and exercise program next.  When I told her I didn't want to live forever with a smile, she looked into my eyes intently for some time then said, "OK, let's work on your bucket list" with a smile as we had already talked about my bucket list for retirement.

I was already working on my own bucket list when I saw the movie, The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.  Scene that stood out for me was when they were sitting on top of the pyramid and Morgan Freeman asked Jack Nicholson, "Have you found joy in your life? ... Has your life brought joy to others?" - https://youtu.be/utAOfNfI_vE?t=78

Those questions jolted my approach to "living life" as I thought completing the bucket list in retirement was fulfilling "living life".  When Morgan Freeman asked, "Has your life brought joy to others?", I realized fulfilling the bucket list was fulfilling the expectation and indoctrination of society/world to satisfy my egocentric desires.

After pondering for some time, I told my wife that I ripped up my bucket list (Which was quite long by this time as I delayed many things I wanted to do in life until after retirement because I was too "busy" working).  When she asked why, I told her my realization from watching the movie The Bucket List and I had focused on wrong things in my life.  Instead of pursuing just my own joy, I should have also pursued bringing joy to others.

Wife goes, "OK, that's fine" with a smile then says, "Then, you can work on my bucket list" and proceeds to write out all the "honey do" projects, including major remodel of our retirement house, on the white board. 

And yes, since then, I have been very busy bringing joy to her and many others.

I am living the life ...

[Ben]

Several years before retirement, my young doctor told me after she normalized all of my lab values over 2 years, she wanted me to work on diet and exercise program next. 

I would submit that that is part of living a good life. It doesn't have to mean eating tofu and rice cakes until you die. I'll take having a steak, a glass of whiskey, and a cigar on occasion and trading going at 85 instead of 90. Enjoy the good stuff, but do so in moderation. There's a lot of food that I love that I simply can't eat as much of as when I was younger (though I'm only 30). I could about eat a whole one of my mom's blueberry pies. Now if I get pie or any sweet dessert, I can only eat a little bit without getting an upset stomach or reflux (part of that might be me hardly ever eating sugary stuff anymore, so my body doesn't like it). If "good life" consumption makes you regret it an hour or a day later, the better life is to moderate or eliminate.

On exercise, if I didn't have a strict exercise regime that I stick too, I would not be living the good life. I can only do the run and gun stuff that I like to do because I also make sure to stick to the exercise regime that lets me not only complete it without being out of breath, but also saves me from pulled muscles and more serious injuries. Not to mention age related balance issues and muscle degradation.  Daily yoga saves my back, helps my balance, and keeps me from being injured from something as mundane as shoveling or just twisting my back wrong. Boxing, TRX, and dumbbells all help preserve my muscle mass and stave off age related muscle degradation. Even then, age related injuries are no fun. When I took that stupid fall last year and tore my meniscus, an injury that younger bodies are healed from in 2-4 weeks took me 4 months plus physical therapy before I could run normally again. I am a big fan of exercise and physical activity as part of living a good, active life.

JMO,YMMV, and all that. 

[dogmush]

My Paternal Grandmother and my Father are both diabetic.  Onset in their early 40's, diet controlled for a bit, then on to insulin and so on.  Common story in the US.

My Grandmother was a sweet southern lady who said very much the same thing as Live Life.  She didn't want to give up the things she loved (cooking for her family, candy, sweet tea, etc) to eck out a few extra years.  Gotta live life.  A very devout woman she also lived to bring joy to others.  Her disease progressed (as they do) with complications, overall poor health leading to more diseases (Lupis specifically), and some amputations until she passed at 71 after a pretty rough decade or so.

My Father's disease progressed very similarly until in his late 50's after some significant arguments with my mother, he found a different diabetes doc that concentrated on diet, helped him lose a ton of weight and actually had him off insulin for a bit. (He's back on a very small dose now). He turns 70 next year and is still up and living his life with vigor, although he has had to give up many things he liked to do so. (Alcohol, the same sweet tea his mother liked, basically all carbs).

I don't know which is the right answer, or if there is one.  I will submit that from watching them both, it's not just the quantity of years you get, but the quality of those years.  You can live but be very unhappy about it.

I sincerely hope I remain hale and healthy until I shuffle off this mortal coil but nothing is guaranteed.  Mrs. Mush's Grandparents lived out their last decades in a nursing home slipping away to Alzheimers.  I would genuinely rather off myself on my own terms than live through that.

[Live Life]

I would submit that that is part of living a good life. It doesn't have to mean eating tofu and rice cakes until you die. I'll take having a steak, a glass of whiskey, and a cigar on occasion and trading going at 85 instead of 90. Enjoy the good stuff, but do so in moderation.

I would agree as there's levels of "Quality" of living life.

I had to retire early at 53 due to spinal stenosis that would drop me to my knees even though I wasn't doing anything physically demanding or lifting anything.  Unlike my mother (Yes, choose your parents carefully  ), neurosurgeon told me my situation was not operable and Physical Therapy was my only option and to return back to him when I started dragging my leg(s).

So I approached Physical Therapy with full commitment and often, sessions ended with me in tears.  I am happy to report that I have learned what activities triggered painful back spasms and successfully avoided back spasms mostly for past five years since early retirement.  (Yes, no more high jumping with quads on sand dunes and crossed skydiving off my bucket list  )

I am glad that I am able to pursue essentially all activities I pursued before I retired with the exception of really physical things.

My Paternal ... Grandmother was a sweet southern lady who said very much the same thing as Live Life.  She didn't want to give up the things she loved (cooking for her family, candy, sweet tea, etc) to eck out a few extra years.  Gotta live life.

... I don't know which is the right answer, or if there is one.

As to diet and exercise, I lost 50 lbs since retirement 5 years ago and lost 20 pounds since last year and 10 or so more pounds and I would be at body weight I am very happy with while cooking 99% of meals at home, which is heavily based on steaks/roasts, potatoes, eggs, cheese and butter (I also do all baking of bread/rolls/cookies).  My doctor is puzzled as I do Whopper Wednesdays and like McDonald's chicken nuggets but since my labs are normal and cholesterol is normal as well while losing weight, she said to continue with my current diet and activity levels. 

As Ben mentioned, I have "moderated" quite a lot of things since retirement, particularly eating out and fast/"junk" food (My work required extensive travel up and down the state for week long surveys away from home) as wife wants me to reduce/minimize as much "processed" food as possible.  In addition to baking all bread/rolls/cookies, I will be making tortillas soon (My sister makes some awesome tortillas and she said she would teach me).

Wife did point out that all these "healthy" approach to living life may not necessarily translate to increasing "quality" of life as many of our family/friends/neighbors who lived "healthy" lives didn't necessarily live "quality" or long lives. 

Instead of extending my life by few years at the tail end, wife would rather have a "saner" husband so since retirement, I have done life reflection (Hence my approach to "live life" and this thread) and took on the journey towards self-realization/actualization and currently going through "shadow works and integration" by Carl Jung (Which has not been easy but been very beneficial to resolve issues from my earlier years that I could explain on another post).

[dogmush]

Let me know how yor tortillas work out.  I've been trying to add them to my baking habits but am not pleased with how mine turn out. Too close to flat bread and not enough tortilla.

I think I'm gett8ng too much gluten build in the dough, so even though I squash them nice and flat, when they hit the pan they almost rise like naan.

[Live Life]

Will do.