It's not a human until I can set it down and have a beer with it without feeling the urge to shoot it.
Had "a chat" with Jen's daughter's boyfriend today... Suffice it to say that several topics were covered, including my ongoing liking for Jen's daughter's continued health, and a moderate willingness to... (let's see if I remember it correctly, as it was described in pretty graphic detail...) ...if she is is injured, in any way, shape, or form, whether it's directly his fault or not, to take the miscreant, stuff him in a car trunk, drive him into the West Texas desert (only a day away in the car...), whereupon his eyelids will be surgically amputated without anaesthetic, and he'll be staked out above a scorpion nest, whereupon I plan upon cracking an iced-down cooler of my favorite beverage....
Not sure quite what the boy thinks of me now... Lots of wide-eyed nodding was going on...
I think that the next step is gonna be showing him The Shotgun Shell With His Name Written Upon It.