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Author Topic: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.  (Read 5741 times)

Manedwolf

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Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« on: October 10, 2007, 05:50:09 AM »
Quote
Clown kicks in door, punches resident

Marion A man in white and black clown makeup kicked in the door of a Marion man's residence and punched him Friday night, police said.

Matthew Hoffner, of 121-D Southview Dr., told police that around 11 p.m., he heard a knock on his door and, when he opened it, saw three men with white face paint and black rings around their eyes and mouths, said Marion Police Lt. Steve Etzel. Hoffner closed the door, but one of the men "kicked it in" and proceeded to punch him several times.

After the men left, Etzel said Hoffner realized he knew one of the men because they "had a common gal in their past." However, that was not the man who assaulted him.

Hoffner received minor injuries but refused treatment on the scene. Investigation is continuing.

http://www.gazetteonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071008/NEWS/71008006/1006/NEWS
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robear

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2007, 05:58:15 AM »
This isn't going to turn into a "what caliber for clowns" discussion, is it?
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AZRedhawk44

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2007, 06:03:24 AM »
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This isn't going to turn into a "what caliber for clowns" discussion, is it?

Everyone knows that clowns can only be killed with silver projectiles... it isn't a matter of caliber, more a matter of the metaphysical alchemy of the projectile.

I learned that from Stephen King, in It. grin
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Jamisjockey

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2007, 06:29:40 AM »
Gives a new meaning to punching the clown.....
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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2007, 07:04:59 AM »
Clowns are creepy.
Shoot 'em all.
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charby

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2007, 07:26:03 AM »
why didn't he just kick the clown in the nuts

If he had the Rods of Ra the clown would have not even visited his house.

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2007, 07:45:39 AM »
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why didn't he just kick the clown in the nuts

If he had the Rods of Ra the clown would have not even visited his house.

Or he could have clonked them in the head with the Bricks of Bubba.

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Bogie

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2007, 08:25:35 AM »
Digression, but have any of y'all seen that documentary called Rise or something? About an offshoot of rap/hip-hop with some really really freaky dancing and stuff? Looked to be a whole subculture of guys who'd dress up in clown suits and stuff.
 
What's with that stuff? Anyone know?

Okay. Looked some stuff up. Documentary was called Rize. I don't know a lot more, but I'm still kinda creeped...
 
http://www.myspace.com/tommytheclown
 
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Joe Demko

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #8 on: October 10, 2007, 08:32:55 AM »
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That's right... I'm a Jackbooted Thug AND a Juvenile Indoctrination Technician.  Deal with it.

Bogie

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #9 on: October 10, 2007, 08:47:41 AM »
http://www.juggalogathering.com/splash/

I need more rounds. And larger magazines.
 
And maybe a nuke...

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griz

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #10 on: October 10, 2007, 09:07:27 AM »
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This isn't going to turn into a "what caliber for clowns" discussion, is it?

For what it's worth, the limit on clown hunting is one per day.  But don't eat them, they taste funny.
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Brad Johnson

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #11 on: October 10, 2007, 09:29:31 AM »
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But don't eat them, they taste funny.

ugh...

Brad
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K Frame

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #12 on: October 10, 2007, 09:29:46 AM »
I'm sorry, but I'm just sitting here at my desk laughing my ass off!

Just the mental image of a clown kocking on the door and punching the guy...  laugh
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Brad Johnson

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #13 on: October 10, 2007, 09:36:30 AM »
Quote from: Mike Irwin on October 10, 2007, 08:29:46 AM
I'm sorry, but I'm just sitting here at my desk laughing my ass off!

I don't know what's funnier, the image of a clown punching a guy, or thinking of Mike sitting at his desk and pretending to work.   laugh

Brad
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It's all about the pancakes, people.
"And he thought cops wouldn't chase... a STOLEN DONUT TRUCK???? That would be like Willie Nelson ignoring a pickup full of weed."
-HankB

AZRedhawk44

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #14 on: October 10, 2007, 09:58:21 AM »
Quote from: Brad Johnson on October 10, 2007, 08:36:30 AM
Quote from: Mike Irwin on October 10, 2007, 08:29:46 AM
I'm sorry, but I'm just sitting here at my desk laughing my ass off!

I don't know what's funnier, the image of a clown punching a guy, or thinking of Mike sitting at his desk and pretending to work.   laugh

Brad

In my mind's eye, Mike Irwin sits... drinking from a tonic water bottle and juggling the heads of his various clown-prey... laugh
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HankB

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #15 on: October 10, 2007, 10:17:49 AM »
Unless I'm expecting someone, I'm not going to answer the door at 11pm empty-handed . . . heck, wasn't it former (and anti-gun!) SCOTUS justice Warren Burger who answered the door late at night with a pistol in his hand?
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JonnyB

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #16 on: October 10, 2007, 11:37:18 AM »
Didn't I read this here?

If you're ever attacked by clowns, don't fool around; go for the juggler!

jb
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Brad Johnson

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #17 on: October 10, 2007, 11:46:51 AM »
Quote from: JonnyB on October 10, 2007, 10:37:18 AM
Didn't I read this here?

If you're ever attacked by clowns, don't fool around; go for the juggler!

jb

Double ugh.

Can the puns in this thread get any worse...?

Brad
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It's all about the pancakes, people.
"And he thought cops wouldn't chase... a STOLEN DONUT TRUCK???? That would be like Willie Nelson ignoring a pickup full of weed."
-HankB

Monkeyleg

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #18 on: October 10, 2007, 12:15:18 PM »
The attackers sound like a bunch of bozo's.
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Brad Johnson

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2007, 12:17:42 PM »
I guess so.

 grin

Brad
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It's all about the pancakes, people.
"And he thought cops wouldn't chase... a STOLEN DONUT TRUCK???? That would be like Willie Nelson ignoring a pickup full of weed."
-HankB

Antibubba

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #20 on: October 10, 2007, 02:53:17 PM »
Quote
This isn't going to turn into a "what caliber for clowns" discussion, is it? 

Caliber matters less than bullet design.  You have to use Dum Dums.
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Strings

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #21 on: October 10, 2007, 03:16:40 PM »
Alright y'all, quit clowning around: this is serious stuff...
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Mabs2

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #22 on: October 10, 2007, 03:49:17 PM »
Quote from: Brad Johnson on October 10, 2007, 10:46:51 AM
Quote from: JonnyB on October 10, 2007, 10:37:18 AM
Didn't I read this here?

If you're ever attacked by clowns, don't fool around; go for the juggler!

jb

Double ugh.

Can the puns in this thread get any worse...?

Brad
Yea seriously guys.  Knock it off.  Homey don't play that.
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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #23 on: October 10, 2007, 04:45:32 PM »
Where is preacherman when we need him most?
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Phyphor

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Re: Man in Iowa answers door at 11pm, opens it, gets punched by a clown.
« Reply #24 on: October 10, 2007, 06:24:50 PM »
Quote from: onions! on October 10, 2007, 06:04:59 AM
Clowns are creepy.
Shoot 'em all.

Like Bruce Dickinson said in his song....

Bruce Dickinson Lyrics

"Bruce Dickinson Shoot All The Clowns lyrics"

I've been down
At the crazy house
I've been playing
With the cat and the mouse
I've been down
I've been down
I've seen the crazy people
Running around

Shoot all the clowns
Shoot 'em down
Shoot 'em down
Shoot 'em down

Welcome to the circus
Where I fool around
I got the killer smile
I'm a killer clown
Cover up your face
You've been found out
You laugh when
There's nothing to smile about

Shoot shoot
Shoot all the clowns

Wanna gimme money
Well you better get ready
I'm a certified friend
Of John Paul Getty
I'm a fat stargazer
I'm an all night raver
I'm an anything you wannabe
If I can get your sympathy
Welcome to the circus
I'm a killer clown
Welcome to the circus
Hey gather round
2 sides to life
2 sides to fun
The one who does it
And the one who gets done
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