I'm not sure G-d should be displeased about your wanting to hasten being with Him in extremis.
I'm also not sure to "kill" or to "murder" applies to oneself since killing and murdering would, in my mind, imply this was not voluntary on the part of the victim, whereas suicide of the "victim" is, assisted or not.
Of course, that's just secular logic, not canonical logic --which latter sometimes escapes me altogether.
Terry, 230RN