R.I.P. Scout26
"Sparked her phone"?
Obviously, we need a waiting period for swords. Also Obviously, that must be a subpar samurai sword or it would have cut completely through him on the first stroke and much of the bed as well.
Maybe she bought it off the Shopping Channel? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N4hprpRJhM
Another article describes him as a part-time bookkeeper, which I just can't see paying even half the bills. What are we betting on, welfare or drug dealing?