Author Topic: The dog and the wife (Read 40312 times)

roo_ster · « **Reply #25 on:** June 09, 2011, 07:33:57 PM »

Quote from: dogmush on June 09, 2011, 07:22:39 PM

No, I love my wife, and being married.

...

which is not to say she doesn't drive me bonkers me sometimes.

This.

And the kids are a hoot most times, too. Other times, I make like Drill Sergeant roo_ster.

cassandra and sara's daddy · « **Reply #26 on:** June 09, 2011, 08:00:51 PM »

Quote from: roo_ster on June 09, 2011, 07:33:57 PM

This.

And the kids are a hoot most times, too. Other times, I make like Drill Sergeant roo_ster.

in some folks eyes, usually the childless, "THATS ABUSIVE ZOMG!!"
best example of that i saw? 12 year old got his hands on dads off duty piece at home. was playing with it. thought he unloaded it and gave it to his 9 year old sis to hold she fired the round in the chamber into the wall. dads punishment for the kid? took the casing hung it on a thread around sons neck for a week to remind him waht mights happened. kids waste of air mom had dad in court over the "abuse"

CNYCacher · « **Reply #27 on:** June 09, 2011, 08:10:06 PM »

Quote from: cassandra and sara's daddy on June 09, 2011, 08:00:51 PM

in some folks eyes, usually the childless, "THATS ABUSIVE ZOMG!!"
best example of that i saw? 12 year old got his hands on dads off duty piece at home. was playing with it. thought he unloaded it and gave it to his 9 year old sis to hold she fired the round in the chamber into the wall. dads punishment for the kid? took the casing hung it on a thread around sons neck for a week to remind him waht mights happened. kids waste of air mom had dad in court over the "abuse"

The "abuse" being the punishment of having to wear the casing for a week?

cassandra and sara's daddy · « **Reply #28 on:** June 09, 2011, 08:21:42 PM »

yea

same bimbo? invited her 18 year old potheads son's 21 year old pothead friend to live with them when his own folks threw him out. then got all weepy when he was screwing her 15 year old daughter.
shes a piece of work

Triphammer · « **Reply #29 on:** June 09, 2011, 08:27:35 PM »

Been married thirty three years this August & don't regret one day of it.

June 14th, 1984

roo_ster · « **Reply #30 on:** June 09, 2011, 08:56:15 PM »

Quote from: cassandra and sara's daddy on June 09, 2011, 08:00:51 PM

in some folks eyes, usually the childless, "THATS ABUSIVE ZOMG!!"

My favorite child-rearing advice comes from childless busybodies.

Having kids has been enlightening.

By any measure, our kids are happy, well-behaved tykes and we have been told so many times out in public. Add to that, Uncle Sam has, in the past, given me a battery of tests and declared me sane and steady to the point they wanted me to babysit nuclear reactors.

Despite all that, my kids can give me the Simon-in-Jaynestown feeling every once in a while:
<Kiddo #1 in rare form>
"This must be what going mad feels like."
<Kiddo #2 joins in!>
"No, wait, this is what going mad is like."

MrsSmith · « **Reply #31 on:** June 10, 2011, 09:08:21 AM »

I got a dog for my husband.

It was a fair trade.

Almost feel like I was eaves dropping here guys. But I have to say, I'm in the same boat with regard to marriage as some of you here. Recently divorced, won't go down that road again no way no how. Not only am I clearly not good at being married but see no logical point in it anymore. The kids are grown (at least in the eyes of the law) and for the first time since I was in my early 20s, I have NO ONE to answer to, report in to, make excuses to, explain myself to, etc. I spent five hours at the range yesterday goofing off (my goofing off time was supposed to be spent on him), bought a new gun (he was afraid of having guns in the house), then went out to dinner with a group of friends last night (his idea of socializing was grunting when I asked him a question while cooking his dinner), had a few beers (yes I can drink outside the house and get home responsibly!), got in at midnight (no more "I don't want to stay out too late" before we've even left the house), and sat on the back porch with the dogs for a half hour throwing the ball (no, I didn't need anyone to tell me how much sleep I need in a night) before I went to bed, where I slept in the middle and hogged all the blankets and pillows, with my new baby on the nightstand because I'm pretty confident I'm not going to shoot the dog or myself or anyone else that doesn't need shooting in the middle of the night.
Today I'm working from home until 1:30 when I leave to go work a charter for three hours. Its a rough job, running tourists around the rivers in a boat on a sunny summer day. After that I'll come back home and clean up, put on a cute skirt and go listen to a friend's band for a little while, because live blues on a summer evening is just good. Early night because I have an IDPA match (my first) in the morning and another charter tomorrow afternoon. I'm having the time of my life! Literally! I'm glad so many of you are happily married and aren't ashamed to say so. Its clearly working for you! For those of you who'd rather take her to the pound, well, it takes two. (...friends to help you bury his sorry butt in the back yard - ha ha, just kidding, really.) Seriously though, try treating marriage like a dance - you're the man, LEAD. If you want to put the happiness and romance back into it, take the lead and do it. She'll most likely follow. If not, well, why would you take unsolicited advice from a stranger anyway?

AJ Dual · « **Reply #32 on:** June 10, 2011, 10:19:08 AM »

Hey, Welcome to APS!

Monkeyleg · « **Reply #33 on:** June 10, 2011, 11:06:09 AM »

Welcome to APS, MrsSmith. You certainly picked an unusual topic for your first post.

Get ready to be harassed by a crowd of chauvinist pigs (well, not exactly crowd; just me).

MrsSmith · « **Reply #34 on:** June 10, 2011, 11:24:17 AM »

Thank you AJ, pleasure to be here.

As for you Monkeyleg (really??) I trust if you can dish it out you can take it too, so bring it. Keep in mind, I don't have to play or fight fair, I am female after all. It's my God-given right to win and be right about everything using any means necessary.

What was that you said about chauvinism?

As to my choice of first post topics, lets see, a few of my options were:
- unusual household wiring circuits (snore)
- can of mongolian thunder death worms (huh? who is this little Czech boy anyway and doesn't he need to wash up for dinner or something?)
- got buttstroked in the head (cute but I have no input)
- the dog and the wife

Hmmm, female, recently divorced, what would you wander into first?

Scout26 · « **Reply #35 on:** June 10, 2011, 12:26:21 PM »

Welcome MrsSmith,

In addition to the happily married ones, there are a few of us here who are happily separated. Because sometimes if you lead, she doesn't want to walk by your side. I'm working on getting the entire sad saga into words and putting out here at some point.

Oh, and the new kid buys the first round. I'll take a Red Stag on the rocks and some .38Special.

Tallpine · « **Reply #36 on:** June 10, 2011, 01:01:39 PM »

30 years this coming November

Things are pretty good now but not so much during some of the "middle years" - there was a time that I was only staying around because of the kids.

cassandra and sara's daddy · « **Reply #37 on:** June 10, 2011, 01:04:02 PM »

and the only reaso you got to this stage is by sticking it out through tuff spots. both folks have to be willing or its no use

RocketMan · « **Reply #38 on:** June 10, 2011, 02:03:07 PM »

Welcome aboard, MrsSmith. We're a pretty motley group with lots of different types around. Do a little surfing around the board and you'll get the hang of this bunch pretty quickly. It can get a little crazy at times, but mostly in an entertaining way.
And as scout26 said, the newbie buys a round of ammo and drinks. I'll take mine in 155gn 30.06, and Widmer Bros Citra Blonde Summer Brew. I've got a Garand to feed, and it's good to have a cool one afterwards.

AJ Dual · « **Reply #39 on:** June 10, 2011, 02:07:00 PM »

Quote from: MrsSmith on June 10, 2011, 11:24:17 AM

Hmmm, female, recently divorced, what would you wander into first?

Fistful, probably.

But that's because he never looks where he's going.

Fitz · « **Reply #40 on:** June 10, 2011, 02:13:17 PM »

I'll take Shiner Bock and some 40mm HEDP

Thanks

roo_ster · « **Reply #41 on:** June 10, 2011, 03:00:41 PM »

Howdy MrsSmith.

MillCreek · « **Reply #42 on:** June 10, 2011, 03:36:09 PM »

Mrs. Smith, was it fun doing that movie with Brad Pitt?

MrsSmith · « **Reply #43 on:** June 10, 2011, 05:27:07 PM »

Who taught y'all to drink? Cherry flavored whiskey? Citrus flavored beer? If you're drinking with me it's going to be German beer or Canadian whiskey and if you don't like that, you're on your own. As to the rounds of ammo, I'll put them on the shopping list right under my gold dot.

MillCreek - Are you referring to: http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2549451776/tt0356910
That wasn't me. A) I'm about 3 inches shorter than her, B) I don't wear stainless with black, C) a real woman doesn't tuck her pistol into a cheap garter like that, and D) that's a sorry excuse for a gun. Not only that but she wasted entirely too much time and energy trying to break things with his head. Should have just shot him and been done with it.

Howdy Rooster.

Fitz - you were doing good with ordering a German beer but I think you're trying to take advantage of the new girl by requesting what I would almost consider field artillery. How about something in a caliber that's slightly more affordable than my boat payment?

RocketMan - Thanks for the hello. I raised two boys so I understand motley. Will take a longer look around as time permits. Right after I squeeze an orange into your "summer beer." Geesh. :)

Scout26 - This is one of those awkward moments when one isn't sure what's appropriate to say. "I'm sorry things aren't working out," or "Congrats! Glad you're happy!" So, whichever works for you...

Have a great evening gentlemen!

Monkeyleg · « **Reply #44 on:** June 10, 2011, 06:26:18 PM »

Quote

Keep in mind, I don't have to play or fight fair, I am female after all. It's my God-given right to win and be right about everything using any means necessary.

In case any of the guys here were wondering if MrsSmith is really a female, I think she just eliminated all doubts.

Enjoy the conversations, MrsSmith. They're not all as boring as electrical circuits. Sometimes AJDual posts photos of his crotch. He thinks he's a congressman.

RocketMan · « **Reply #45 on:** June 10, 2011, 06:45:32 PM »

Well now, just to clarify things, Widmer Citra Blonde Summer Brew uses Citra hops, not some kind of fruit. Hence the name, and its nectar-of-the-gods goodness.
Orange in beer? Not in this lifetime. However, a little slice of lemon or lime in one's Corona can be pretty tasty.

Boomhauer · « **Reply #46 on:** June 10, 2011, 06:57:45 PM »

Welcome to the board, MrsSmith. I gotta say, are you sure your exhusband was a man, because he sure sounds like weak tea...(never, ever getting married myself. No way, no how)

Quote

friends to help you bury

Favorite quote of mine: A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body. Some would add that a backhoe will help you bury it without breaking a sweat.

Quote

same bimbo? invited her 18 year old potheads son's 21 year old pothead friend to live with them when his own folks threw him out. then got all weepy when he was screwing her 15 year old daughter.

Idiot...

Tallpine · « **Reply #47 on:** June 10, 2011, 07:02:23 PM »

Quote

Who taught y'all to drink? Cherry flavored whiskey? Citrus flavored beer? If you're drinking with me it's going to be German beer or Canadian whiskey and if you don't like that, you're on your own.

Scotch

or

Irish Porter

MillCreek · « **Reply #48 on:** June 10, 2011, 07:15:17 PM »

A sturdy red wine, a good dark stout or an IPA with upwards of 85 IBUs.

Scout26 · « **Reply #49 on:** June 10, 2011, 09:20:58 PM »

Quote from: MrsSmith on June 10, 2011, 05:27:07 PM

Scout26 - This is one of those awkward moments when one isn't sure what's appropriate to say. "I'm sorry things aren't working out," or "Congrats! Glad you're happy!" So, whichever works for you...

Both actually. And since I'm really not supposed to drink, cherry infused whiskey is like nectar from the gods.

News:

Author Topic: The dog and the wife (Read 40312 times)