If programming languages were weapons

[vaskidmark]

http://bjorn.tipling.com/if-programming-languages-were-weapons

I have no idea what a programming language is, or how/why one is different from another.  And yet I still come away 

stay safe.

[HeroHog]

http://bjorn.tipling.com/if-programming-languages-were-weapons

I have no idea what a programming language is, or how/why one is different from another.  And yet I still come away 

stay safe.

As a retired Sr Programmer/Analyst I can truthfully state that article was VERY factual. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a lot of geek friends to share that with...

[lee n. field]

Anyone who uses this is probably crazy and dangerous.

[Perd Hapley]

Anyone who uses this is probably crazy and dangerous.

Then we've found the perfect language for APS.

[MikeB]

Humorous. Well done.

To pick some nits though.

BASH is technically not a programming language, although it does allow scripting, it is a shell vs. a programming language, a programming language like C is often used within BASH scripts.

I don't see COBOL which REALLY should be there, many companies still run old legacy COBOL applications.

FORTRAN should probably be there as it was the first high level programming language if I recall correctly; slightly older than LISP.

Many people learned programming on PASCAL or BASIC which are also not listed and I would think one of them would have been.

[zxcvbob]

And don't forget RPG.   

I do most of my programming in an old proprietary language (I'll call it PL) that is not much more than an unusually-rich assembly language, and in C (not C++, but I use a C++ compiler mostly so I can use // comments.)  I support many thousands of lines of PL code, some of it over 30 years old.

I still write new code in PL because they can't hire a kid right out of college that knows it.  It may not really give me any job security, but it makes getting rid of me a lot more costly.

[HeroHog]

COBOL, FORTRAN and Basic are pretty much dead languages although there are COBOL variants still out there and some Engineering colleges were STILL teaching FORTRAN in the last 5 years!

[Doggy Daddy]

COBOL, FORTRAN and Basic are pretty much dead languages although there are COBOL variants still out there and some Engineering colleges were STILL teaching FORTRAN in the last 5 years!

I'll have you know the Romans used Fortran G to write the spreadsheets that kept track of the legions' salt rations... and wrote them in Latin.  Dead languages, indeed!

[MikeB]

COBOL, FORTRAN and Basic are pretty much dead languages although there are COBOL variants still out there and some Engineering colleges were STILL teaching FORTRAN in the last 5 years!

Their are still billions lines of active COBOL supposedly in active use. Big insurances houses running it on mainframes for example from an article I saw a year or so ago. Supposed to still be companies actively hiring programmers with COBOL knowledge, but yes it should be a dead language. I would have included it if I wrote this, but just my opinion, and we all know what they say about those ...

[just Warren]

COBOL isn't dead. Billions of new lines of code are written every year for it. In my reading it turns out that it's too expensive to replace the code so it will stay around a long time.

However the COBOL coder population is aging out and there might be a huge shortage soon.

Here's a FAQ: https://cis.hfcc.edu/faq/cobol

COBOL ain't goin' nowhere. It may be the most important, most valuable computer language extant. It's certainly in the top five.

[RevDisk]

Meh, C is not a Garand. It's a M2. Set it up correctly, and it'll last forever. Happily killing whomever with nary a compliant. M240G analogy is interesting, but I'd say it's more the M60. Crappily made from the start. The rest is pretty accurate.

COBOL isn't dead. Billions of new lines of code are written every year for it. In my reading it turns out that it's too expensive to replace the code so it will stay around a long time.

COBOL ain't goin' nowhere. It may be the most important, most valuable computer language extant. It's certainly in the top five.

I had to support IBM zOS mainframes that ran FORTRAN and COBOL code. Blah.

I highly doubt billions of new line of code is written every year. Thousands, maybe. Mostly it's just maintenance. Very few people are using COBOL on any new systems. Some, but not many.

[Scout26]

COBOL would then be a Trebuchet.  An ancient weapon that consistently works. 

[roo_ster]

COBOL would then be a Trebuchet.  An ancient weapon that consistently works. 

Bofors twin 40mm cannon?

[RevDisk]

Bofors twin 40mm cannon?

Na, Bofors are beloved by some people. COBOL is universally hated by everyone except whoever is spending COBOL programmers' paychecks. Likely the staff of the local insane asylum.

[KD5NRH]

Hmm...I keep using that same Molotov cocktail over and over...

[Phyphor]

I note the lack of Assembly....


C being the Garand? NAh, I gotta agree with Revdisk on that one.

Relatively easy to learn, and pretty portable, unlike some other languages.

COBOL *really* needs to die in a fire.  Seriously.

It's understandable that many organizations don't really want to 'upgrade' to newer software, though... I see that allll the friggin' time around here.