Will Someone Please Think of the COWS!?!?

[roo_ster]

This is just...so wrong.

Cow farts collected in plastic tank for global warming study
By Rupert Neate
Last updated: 9:55 PM BST 09/07/2008
Scientists are examining cow farts and burps in a novel bid to combat global warming.

Experts said the slow digestive system of cows makes them a key producer of methane, a potent greenhouse gas that gets far less public attention than carbon dioxide.

In a bid to understand the impact of the wind produced by cows on global warming, scientists collected gas from their stomachs in plastic tanks attached to their backs.

The Argentine researchers discovered methane from cows accounts for more than 30 per cent of the country's total greenhouse emissions.

As one of the world's biggest beef producers, Argentina has more than 55 million cows grazing in its famed Pampas grasslands.

Guillermo Berra, a researcher at the National Institute of Agricultural Technology, said every cow produces between 8000 to 1,000 litres of emissions every day.

Methane, which is also released from landfills, coal mines and leaking gas pipes, is 23 times more effective at trapping heat in the atmosphere than carbon dioxide.

Scientists are now carrying out trials of new diets designed to improve cows's digestion and hopefully reduce global warming. Silvia Valtorta, of the National Council of Scientific and Technical Investigations, said that by feeding cows clover and alfalfa instead of grain "you can reduce methane emissions by 25 percent".

I hereby plan to organize a group to fight this indignity:
Bovine
Executive
Emergency
Flatus
Action
Response
Team

[vaskidmark]

1 -

In a bid to understand the impact of the wind produced by cows on global warming, scientists collected gas from their stomachs in plastic tanks attached to their backs.

The Argentine researchers discovered methane from cows accounts for more than 30 per cent of the country's total greenhouse emissions.

What do these esteemed scientists do with the methane gas so collected once it is measured?  Wanna bet they do not release it into the atmosphere?

2 -

I hereby plan to organize a group to fight this indignity:
Bovine
Executive
Emergency
Flatus
Action
Response
Team

Please forward forms needed to apply for charter/plankholder membership.  Under separate cover I am sending you my bank account information as well asvarious credit card numbers and security codes - not sure which flavors of plastic you accept.  My social security number is available, along with picture and vita at most local Post Offices - see clipboard labled "Most Wanted".

stay safe.

skidmark

[wmenorr67]

The look on that cow's face goes to tell me how they are actually collecting the gas.

[lupinus]

Hope no one bursts their bubble 

[LAK]

Experts said the slow digestive system of cows makes them a key producer of methane, a potent greenhouse gas that gets far less public attention than carbon dioxide.

Of course it may not have occurred to the "scientists" that cows just might not have a digestive system able to efficiently handle the kind of feed products many "farmers" are giving to them as "food", as opposed to the grazing the plant life that bovines are naturally adapted to eat.

[drewtam]

As I understand it, there is nothing "natural" at all about modern cattle. They are bred to eat the feed we want them to eat, and to grow as fat and fast as possible.

[Scout26]

All of the other cows,
used to laugh and call him names

'Til Santa lit his farts enabling Solar System wide toy distribution........

[seeker_two]

One mischevious person with a .22lr rifle could cause so much havoc.......     


(....but, of course, I have an alibi....  )

[yesitsloaded]

One word: tracers.

[MechAg94]

As I understand it, there is nothing "natural" at all about modern cattle. They are bred to eat the feed we want them to eat, and to grow as fat and fast as possible.

I don't know if I would go that far.  They are fed hormones and stuff in their feed as far as I know.  Their feed is largely grain based I thought.  I have heard that grass fed meat is a bit healthier. 

I was thinking most of the current breeds were fairly old, but I don't keep up with it. 

[The Annoyed Man]

  Now, for all those  volcanos spitting all the noxious gasses into the air; bigger balloons?

[LAK]

So are there going to be yearly emissions testing for cows now, With a "pass" or "fail" tag on the ear?

[Harold Tuttle]

+



=

[charby]

So no one is concerned about Homo sapien flatulence and belches?

[mtnbkr]

So no one is concerned about Homo sapien flatulence and belches?

Do YOU want to walk around with that thing on your back?  Some folks might need 2 or 3.

Chris

[The Annoyed Man]

One word: tracers.

Better yet: Flaming arrow.

[The Annoyed Man]

I say we find these scientists and put a bag on their back with a tube shoved up their rear end just like they've done to the cows.

See how long they like it.

[Marnoot]

So. . . with that tube shoved up its rear-end, what happens when the cow poops?

[The Annoyed Man]

poo flavored pixie sticks I assume

[seeker_two]

One word: tracers.

Better yet: Flaming arrow.

....or the Holy Hand Grenade....