Author Topic: What caliber for Santa Claus? (Read 5220 times)

RevDisk · « **Reply #25 on:** November 05, 2007, 04:50:38 PM »

Quote from: jamisjockey on November 05, 2007, 02:27:31 PM

Quote from: RevDisk on November 05, 2007, 01:54:15 PM

I'm thinking MK 15 Phalanx Close-In Weapons System.

Them Reindeer have horns...don't let 'em get that close.

"Officer, some creepy fat guy with a fetish for animals and young children that tried to break into my place. So I defended myself with a 25mm radar guided chaingun typically mounted on naval vessels. I fail to see the big deal."

Might work...

drewtam · « **Reply #26 on:** November 05, 2007, 05:01:45 PM »

Your mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile!

He knows if you've been sleeping,
he knows when you're on the can,
he'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.
Oh, You'd better not breathe, you'd better not move,
you're better off Dead, I'm telling you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!
~Traditional Xmas song

Xmas Story, Futurama

sm · « **Reply #27 on:** November 07, 2007, 06:08:51 PM »

Oh boy!
I was raised this was just a December Target Opportunity.
Huh!
I always wondered how come some kids got new stuff in Dec and I didn't.
Then again these kids were not up in the wee hours having fun either.

I'm still partial to slugs from a shotgun...

One can set out out fake cookies and milk and it is like shooting ducks over decoys.
or
Set out fake chimneys, and it is like shooting ducks in flooded timber.

Fun no matter which we one does this...

Strings · « **Reply #28 on:** November 07, 2007, 06:39:05 PM »

Now Steve... there's no sport in hunting over a baited field! Wink

There's a bigger question here than "what caliber?"... anybody have any good elf recipes?

sm · « **Reply #29 on:** November 07, 2007, 06:46:28 PM »

Who is baiting?

"Sport" is getting to shoot.
"Stupid" is a Fat Guy in Red Suit and 8 Meat on the Hoofs falling for the fake milk, cookies and chimneys...

There is a difference ...

280plus · « **Reply #30 on:** November 08, 2007, 03:21:42 AM »

How do you make and elf float?

Dead elf and a mug of root beer...

Jamisjockey · « **Reply #31 on:** November 08, 2007, 03:32:24 AM »

I've had a serious change of heart.
Rather than try and hit Santa with a standoff weapon.......
First I'm going to don my Ghille suit.
Then I'm going to paint every exposed surface of my skin with camo skin paint.
All night Christmas Eve I'm going to work my K-bar over a whetsone.
And when I hear bells, I'm going to crawl under the Christmas Tree.
While the jolly fat man is placing gifts in the stockings, with his back to the tree, I'm going to slip out from underneath it.
I'm going to draw my Kbar from its sheath.
Then, I will grab the fat man by the mouth, pull back on his head, and jab that long, cold steel blade down into his throat!

Merry Christmas!

Harold Tuttle · « **Reply #32 on:** November 08, 2007, 05:21:48 AM »

Have you ever seen the Leprechaun movies?

I find it best to leave the Sprites, Pixies and Elves alone

Santa's an immortal, with associates in the animal kingdom

Ya wanna have a re enactment of the movie Willard in your bedroom?
F with Santa and see what fresh hell he can unleash.

atomd · « **Reply #33 on:** November 08, 2007, 06:02:28 AM »

Quote

I've had a serious change of heart.
Rather than try and hit Santa with a standoff weapon.......
First I'm going to don my Ghille suit.
Then I'm going to paint every exposed surface of my skin with camo skin paint.
All night Christmas Eve I'm going to work my K-bar over a whetsone.
And when I hear bells, I'm going to crawl under the Christmas Tree.

Do they make tinsel Ghille suits for the holidays?

Firethorn · « **Reply #34 on:** November 09, 2007, 05:34:23 AM »

Quote from: atomd on November 08, 2007, 05:02:28 AM

Do they make tinsel Ghille suits for the holidays?

Bah, real MN's make their own Ghille suits!

atomd · « **Reply #35 on:** November 09, 2007, 11:04:36 AM »

Real men don't do arts and crafts projects with tinsel! laugh

Firethorn · « **Reply #36 on:** November 09, 2007, 06:13:33 PM »

Quote from: atomd on November 09, 2007, 10:04:36 AM

Real men don't do arts and crafts projects with tinsel! laugh

Who said anything about real men? I'm talking about Mall Ninjas here!

280plus · « **Reply #37 on:** November 10, 2007, 05:30:00 AM »

Sticky Fingaz,,, cheesy

Haven't heard much from Sticky lately, have we? rolleyes

Harold Tuttle · « **Reply #38 on:** November 10, 2007, 01:10:34 PM »

Sticky's been busy on the idiot box:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0277727/

Tecumseh · « **Reply #39 on:** November 10, 2007, 09:52:37 PM »

Whats a good caliber for Jesus is what I been asking myself? Suggestions...

grislyatoms · « **Reply #40 on:** November 11, 2007, 05:28:40 AM »

You guys have got to be kidding me. What caliber for Santa Claus?

Isn't it obvious?

You will need a "Red Ryder carbine-action 200 shot range model air rifle"

grin

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #41 on:** November 11, 2007, 08:35:20 AM »

Quote from: Tecumseh on November 10, 2007, 08:52:37 PM

Whats a good caliber for Jesus is what I been asking myself? Suggestions...

Do you mean the pre-resurrection Jesus? Shouldn't need anything special, although it will only keep Him down for so long. If you mean the current, post-res Jesus, well, I don't think anything will do you much good. In any case, you could only shoot Him if He wanted to let you. I hope that helps.

280plus · « **Reply #42 on:** November 12, 2007, 04:32:10 PM »

You mean the Butter Jesus or just the regular one? laugh

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #43 on:** November 12, 2007, 06:29:11 PM »

JUST the "regular" one? JUST the "regular" one! What do you mean, JUST the "regular" one?

Ooooh, I am so offended. One word for you, 280. Fatwah. How you like me now?

jeepmor · « **Reply #44 on:** November 12, 2007, 06:42:58 PM »

Like you could even think about stopping a guy that can make roughly 6 billion deliveries planet wide in less than 24 hours. You'd need a laser weapon, light just might be able to catch him. Even then, his technology is so advanced you know he has countermeasures in place because he hasn't been caught yet.

News:

Author Topic: What caliber for Santa Claus? (Read 5220 times)

Strings