CAnnonneer, I'm sorry you don't like my analogy. It was the best I could come up with in my sleep-deprived state.
To answer your question, though, there are a whole slew of reasons why Romney lost, but conservatism isn't one of them.
First, Romney's history in Massachusetts worked against him with the conservative base. He was considered "Obama-lite", as so many here have referred to him. By the time he was able to articulate his conservative ideology--whether it was real or not--it was too late.
Second, the Obama campaign defined him early, painting him as a rich guy only looking to help his rich buddies. This wasn't true, and has never been true of Romney (his charitable contributions and charitable works show him to be much more compassionate than Obama will ever be). Nevertheless, Obama was able to embed that image of Romney in the public's mind.
Third, Romney's personality doesn't excite people. He didn't ignite passions. When he responded to Obama's "you didn't build that" remark, he showed passion for the first time in his campaign.
Fourth, Romney was being too nice. He was up against a campaign that would do anything to win (witness Benghazi), and Romney was using gentleman's rules. He should have used that third debate to politely call Obama out as a liar, and worse.
Obama also bought votes by pandering to various parts of the Democrat base, giving all of them something paid for by taxpayers. He used jealousy and class warfare to incite hatred on a level I don't think I've seen before. Obama ran one of the most vicious campaigns in political history. The constant charges of racism, the urgings to his followers to "get revenge", the smearing of primary candidates like Herman Cain, the outright lies, and the complicity of the media in covering up a scandal bigger than Watergate make this election one that will be viewed for decades as an example of the worst in politics.
Edited to add: A huge reason Obama won is that people know that painful cuts are necessary to keep our country from turning into Greece. Obama made people think that the necessary cuts will be made, but somebody else will feel the pain. When Romney spoke, those same people came away knowing they'd have to give up one or more of their public handouts.
Conservative ideology is never out of date. It's what this country was built on. Progressivism is a relatively new concept, and it's had to be disguised over the years in order to reach the point where it is now unremarkable that half the population is demanding that the other half give them significant portions of the fruits of their labor. It's almost a given that those who pay nearly all of the taxes are painted as villains, and portrayed as not giving their "fair share" when the other half pays no share. (Of course, those at the top of the progressive ladder get a pass on their wealth, no matter how it was accumulated. Joe Kennedy the Irish gangster, John Kerry the Gigolo, George Soros and Warren Buffet, crooked players both of them, get a pass).
My point is that as its economy worsens, a modern country cannot become more conservative. Conservatism thrives in prosperous countries. We are not prosperous enough to maintain or develop conservatism. The election results confirm my observation.
To the contrary, progressivism can only be maintained in a prosperous society, unless the people are content to live in misery (see USSR). You can't get blood from a turnip. As the economy worsens, conservatism is the only alternative to bankruptcy, whether the 50% feeding at the public trough like it or not.