Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: Monkeyleg on July 21, 2011, 11:45:51 PM
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Ordinarily I try to watch what I eat. Sometimes, though, my wife plays tricks on me.
Take this evening, for example. She made her usual extra-delicious spaghetti, and just left it in a pot on the range top, knowing I'd see it, smell it and probably eat some of it. She also cunningly left a pot of water on the range, with a container of noodles on the counter adjacent.
Very cunningly, she put a 14" deep plate at the top of the stack of lesser plates in the cabinet. I was tricked--tricked, I tell you--into filling that plate from edge to edge and nearly two inches high with noodles and the fabulous sauce. Tomatoes, portabella mushrooms, spicy sausage...who could resist?
Then came the really devious part. She left two pieces of chocolate fudge cake in a package on a nearby counter, knowing full well that I can't resist chocolate.
And now I'm in pain. I know she did this intentionally to keep me awake all night with my stomach about to burst.
She's simply evil.
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Just wait until in the morning. Blueberry muffins gone tactical. *snicker*
Brad
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STOP PAYING YOUR LIFE INSURANCE PREMIUMS !!!!
;) =D :P [popcorn]
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I thought you had got some of my home canned peppers.
Just put on a little Johnny Cash "Ring of Fire" in the morning.
jim
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Ah, modern architecture, so inadequate. No stables, no slave quarters, no regurgitoria... oh, wait...
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I experiencing a related discomfort. Mine however was likely borught about by the Domino's calzone ring the mrs. brought home for supper. I can only hope she is enjoying the same experience.
Back to the bathroom, again....
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My wife does the same thing to me.
Chris
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I think this guy knows what you mean:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDEIYflt6IA
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What really annoys me about the wife bringing in fast food all the damn time is what we have in the freezer. I've got probably 25#s of venison from last falls deer, several hundred lbs of good grass fed beef and well over a hundred lbs of pork from the hog I had butchered last month. Not to mention all the fresh produce from the garden.
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I've got probably 25#s of venison from last falls deer, several hundred lbs of good grass fed beef and well over a hundred lbs of pork from the hog I had butchered last month. Not to mention all the fresh produce from the garden.
I'm only a couple hours away. I could help you with that darn freezer space problem. ;)
Brad
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I'm only a couple hours away. I could help you with that darn freezer space problem. ;)
Forget him....I'm probably closer.....and I'm a doctor.... =D
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Forget him....I'm probably closer.....and I'm a doctor.... =D
Forget them both. I'll send you a shipping label, dry ice and a bottle of your choice of beverage. And I'm a girl, which outranks doctor. Sorry Seeker.
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And I'm a girl, which outranks doctor.
MrsSmith for teh WIN!! :lol:
Brad
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And I'm a girl, which outranks doctor. Sorry Seeker.
You say that now....but just wait until the hot flashes start.....
=D
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You know, it was nice having seeker around. I'll always wonder why he mysteriously disappeared the day after that one post to MrsSmith...
Brad
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You know, it was nice having seeker around. I'll always wonder why he mysteriously disappeared the day after that one post to MrsSmith...
I'm not worried....I've seen every episode of "The Golden Girls"..... =D
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I'm not worried....I've seen every episode of "The Golden Girls"..... =D
Exactly. When they stop chasing you because they have to stop and fan themselves during a 'power surge', that is when you make your escape. I have lived the dream twice now.
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What really annoys me about the wife bringing in fast food all the damn time is what we have in the freezer. I've got probably 25#s of venison from last falls deer, several hundred lbs of good grass fed beef and well over a hundred lbs of pork from the hog I had butchered last month. Not to mention all the fresh produce from the garden.
Just bought a 7cuft deep freeze and need something to put in it.
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You say that now....but just wait until the hot flashes start.....
=D
I dare you to come over here and say that little boy.
Let me just educate you a bit. While the male of the species reaches his prime at the average age of 18, when he's still wet behind the ears and doesn't know WTF he's doing, the female of the species (that would be me) reaches her prime a little later on, when we've gained a little experience, gained a little more worldliness, gotten comfortable in our skin, we know and like who we are, are confident, happy, and secure. And we know WTF we're doing. This lovely phase lasts for several years during which we enjoy the hell out of life. I'm only about a third of the way into that little phase. But I've also done my homework (and paid attention to some dynamic women who came before me) and learned how to avoid that whole hot flash thing all together. So I'm anticipating many more years in this amazing little period called the prime of my life. And loving every moment of it. =D If you're still uncertain about women over 40, Google Andy Rooney's commentary on the subject.
In other words, the only hot flash you're going to get out of me will be from the muzzle of my gun. ;)
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Seeker, if you see little red dot appear somewhere on your person... RUNNNNNN!!!!!!
Brad
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Yeah. I prefer a moving target. More of a challenge. [ar15]
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In other words, the only hot flash you're going to get out of me will be from the muzzle of my gun. ;)
As someone who prefers wine to grape juice, I appreciate all that the modern mature woman has to offer....and have on certain special occasions.... ;)
....but, when quality meat is on the line, one has to set one's priorities straight....
....therefore.....with meat tongs in hand and trauma plates firmly duct-taped....I'm prepared to channel my inner Ron Swanson and die on this hill today....all for the love of venison....
....BTW, they're not "hot flashes".....they're POWER SURGES...... :cool:
=D
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Darlin' you go ahead and arm yourself with your tongs and protective gear and stand your ground. While you and your inner Ron are roasting in the heat and near death, I'll be roasting venison on my grill (maybe with a couple skewers of fresh caught shrimp thrown on too for variety) and sipping an ice cold beverage while trying not to gloat. ;)
Cooler's on the way Larry.
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To the THUNDERDOME!!
Brad
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Darlin' you go ahead and arm yourself with your tongs and protective gear and stand your ground. While you and your inner Ron are roasting in the heat and near death, I'll be roasting venison on my grill (maybe with a couple skewers of fresh caught shrimp thrown on too for variety) and sipping an ice cold beverage while trying not to gloat. ;)
SHRIMP!!!...that's practically a VEGETABLE... :facepalm:
....And I'll bet your cold beverage is something girly, too...like Bud Light...or Jim Beam.... ;/
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pssstttt seeker.....Ladysmith threw shoes......MrsSmith throws lead.....
big difference...
been nice knowin' ya.
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A vegetable? Maybe that imported, farm-raised, preservative-laden garbage you get in TX is, but not wild Georgia shrimp. Not even remotely close.
As to my taste in beverages, I am a girl and therefore completely entitled to be girly. I drink Becks or Heineken or the occasional Corona. I will confess to switching to Miller Lite for a week or two if I start to edge toward the 115 lb mark because the girlish figure must be maintained. Whiskey of choice is Jameson, straight or at most with one ice cube. Also like a good blend on occasion. I drink Kettle in my Bloody Mary's (with my own special mix and never after 1200 hrs) and dirty martinis, any rot gut tequilla will do for a margarita but that's infrequent, and I like a nice snifter of B&B after dinner around the holidays when it's colder outside.
And what does the 11 y.o. girl consider a manly beverage? ;/ This should be good...
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Sorry to disappoint but my freezer full of prime venison, beef and pork is in no danger of going to waste. Besides it is just the little freezer filled up so far the 25 cu ft unit is still empty.
Since I do the majority of the fancy cooking it will just last longer.
I was hoping to grill some pork steaks this evening but with the heat we've been having I don't know if I can get the grill down to a good cooking temp no matter how big a fire I build in it.
I may have to settle for another bacon, tomato and bacon sammich. Probably switch it up and use Arkansas bacon tonight.
Might go all out though and through together a little eggplant Parmesan with sausage (All ingredients except the cheese from my land) since I'm probably cooking in the house anyway.
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Ordinarily I try to watch what I eat. Sometimes, though, my wife plays tricks on me.
Take this evening, for example. She made her usual extra-delicious spaghetti, and just left it in a pot on the range top, knowing I'd see it, smell it and probably eat some of it. She also cunningly left a pot of water on the range, with a container of noodles on the counter adjacent.
Very cunningly, she put a 14" deep plate at the top of the stack of lesser plates in the cabinet. I was tricked--tricked, I tell you--into filling that plate from edge to edge and nearly two inches high with noodles and the fabulous sauce. Tomatoes, portabella mushrooms, spicy sausage...who could resist?
Then came the really devious part. She left two pieces of chocolate fudge cake in a package on a nearby counter, knowing full well that I can't resist chocolate.
And now I'm in pain. I know she did this intentionally to keep me awake all night with my stomach about to burst.
She's simply evil.
sorry if this has been posted and i missed it, not a good day. =|
but, next time have some of this stuff (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bromelain) in the house. and feel no pain. >:D [popcorn]
you'll have to learn how much to take, depends on how much you ate. to much and you won't do it again. >:D
edit: forgot the form (http://www.amazon.com/Country-Life-Strength-Bromelain-30-Count/dp/B00020IKYG), or you could go for the jagermeister. >:D
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Thank $diety it comes in capsule form. I thought you were suggesting that the spikey thing be applied to where it hurt. :O
stay safe.
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:laugh: :'( :lol: