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Author Topic: Food and pain  (Read 3275 times)

Monkeyleg

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Food and pain
« on: July 21, 2011, 11:45:51 PM »
Ordinarily I try to watch what I eat. Sometimes, though, my wife plays tricks on me.

Take this evening, for example. She made her usual extra-delicious spaghetti, and just left it in a pot on the range top, knowing I'd see it, smell it and probably eat some of it. She also cunningly left a pot of water on the range, with a container of noodles on the counter adjacent.

Very cunningly, she put a 14" deep plate at the top of the stack of lesser plates in the cabinet. I was tricked--tricked, I tell you--into filling that plate from edge to edge and nearly two inches high with noodles and the fabulous sauce. Tomatoes, portabella mushrooms, spicy sausage...who could resist?

Then came the really devious part. She left two pieces of chocolate fudge cake in a package on a nearby counter, knowing full well that I can't resist chocolate.

And now I'm in pain. I know she did this intentionally to keep me awake all night with my stomach about to burst.

She's simply evil.
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Brad Johnson

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2011, 12:07:00 AM »
Just wait until in the morning.  Blueberry muffins gone tactical. *snicker*

Brad
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It's all about the pancakes, people.
"And he thought cops wouldn't chase... a STOLEN DONUT TRUCK???? That would be like Willie Nelson ignoring a pickup full of weed."
-HankB

Scout26

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2011, 12:55:09 AM »
STOP PAYING YOUR LIFE INSURANCE PREMIUMS !!!!





 ;) =D :P [popcorn]
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Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.


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Put our backs to the north wind.
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Sweet memories to drive us on,
for the motherland.

Jim147

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2011, 01:26:46 AM »
I thought you had got some of my home canned peppers.

Just put on a little Johnny Cash "Ring of Fire" in the morning.

jim
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And sometimes goes on and on and on.

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Chuck Dye

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2011, 03:02:31 AM »
Ah, modern architecture, so inadequate.  No stables, no slave quarters, no regurgitoria... oh, wait...
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Gee, I'd love to see your data!

RoadKingLarry

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2011, 05:27:26 AM »
I experiencing a related discomfort. Mine however was likely borught about by the Domino's calzone ring the mrs. brought home for supper. I can only hope she is enjoying the same experience.
Back to the bathroom, again....
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

Samuel Adams

mtnbkr

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2011, 01:41:15 PM »
My wife does the same thing to me.

Chris
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roo_ster

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2011, 02:54:43 PM »
I think this guy knows what you mean:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDEIYflt6IA
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Regards,

roo_ster

“Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.”
----G.K. Chesterton

RoadKingLarry

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2011, 04:07:38 PM »
What really annoys me about the wife bringing in fast food all the damn time is what we have in the freezer. I've got probably 25#s of venison from last falls deer, several hundred lbs of good grass fed beef and well over a hundred lbs of pork from the hog I had butchered last month. Not to mention all the fresh produce from the garden.
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

Samuel Adams

Brad Johnson

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2011, 04:49:18 PM »
 
Quote from: RoadKingLarry on July 22, 2011, 04:07:38 PM
I've got probably 25#s of venison from last falls deer, several hundred lbs of good grass fed beef and well over a hundred lbs of pork from the hog I had butchered last month. Not to mention all the fresh produce from the garden.

I'm only a couple hours away.  I could help you with that darn freezer space problem.   ;)

Brad
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It's all about the pancakes, people.
"And he thought cops wouldn't chase... a STOLEN DONUT TRUCK???? That would be like Willie Nelson ignoring a pickup full of weed."
-HankB

seeker_two

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2011, 05:41:38 PM »
Quote from: Brad Johnson on July 22, 2011, 04:49:18 PM

I'm only a couple hours away.  I could help you with that darn freezer space problem.   ;)

Forget him....I'm probably closer.....and I'm a doctor....  =D
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Impressed yet befogged, they grasped at his vivid leading phrases, seeing only their surface meaning, and missing the deeper current of his thought.

MrsSmith

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2011, 05:52:31 PM »
Quote from: seeker_two on July 22, 2011, 05:41:38 PM
Forget him....I'm probably closer.....and I'm a doctor....  =D

Forget them both. I'll send you a shipping label, dry ice and a bottle of your choice of beverage. And I'm a girl, which outranks doctor. Sorry Seeker.
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Brad Johnson

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #12 on: July 22, 2011, 06:30:38 PM »
Quote from: MrsSmith on July 22, 2011, 05:52:31 PM
And I'm a girl, which outranks doctor.

MrsSmith for teh WIN!!  :lol:

Brad
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It's all about the pancakes, people.
"And he thought cops wouldn't chase... a STOLEN DONUT TRUCK???? That would be like Willie Nelson ignoring a pickup full of weed."
-HankB

seeker_two

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2011, 06:37:37 PM »
Quote from: MrsSmith on July 22, 2011, 05:52:31 PM
And I'm a girl, which outranks doctor. Sorry Seeker.

You say that now....but just wait until the hot flashes start.....





 =D
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Impressed yet befogged, they grasped at his vivid leading phrases, seeing only their surface meaning, and missing the deeper current of his thought.

Brad Johnson

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #14 on: July 22, 2011, 06:44:12 PM »
You know, it was nice having seeker around.  I'll always wonder why he mysteriously disappeared the day after that one post to MrsSmith...

Brad
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It's all about the pancakes, people.
"And he thought cops wouldn't chase... a STOLEN DONUT TRUCK???? That would be like Willie Nelson ignoring a pickup full of weed."
-HankB

seeker_two

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2011, 08:23:24 PM »
Quote from: Brad Johnson on July 22, 2011, 06:44:12 PM
You know, it was nice having seeker around.  I'll always wonder why he mysteriously disappeared the day after that one post to MrsSmith...

I'm not worried....I've seen every episode of "The Golden Girls".....  =D
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Impressed yet befogged, they grasped at his vivid leading phrases, seeing only their surface meaning, and missing the deeper current of his thought.

MillCreek

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2011, 09:11:23 PM »
Quote from: seeker_two on July 22, 2011, 08:23:24 PM
I'm not worried....I've seen every episode of "The Golden Girls".....  =D

Exactly.  When they stop chasing you because they have to stop and fan themselves during a 'power surge', that is when you make your escape.  I have lived the dream twice now.
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_____________
Regards,
MillCreek
Snohomish County, WA  USA


Quote from: Angel Eyes on August 09, 2018, 01:56:15 AM
You are one lousy risk manager.

roo_ster

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #17 on: July 22, 2011, 10:30:53 PM »
Quote from: RoadKingLarry on July 22, 2011, 04:07:38 PM
What really annoys me about the wife bringing in fast food all the damn time is what we have in the freezer. I've got probably 25#s of venison from last falls deer, several hundred lbs of good grass fed beef and well over a hundred lbs of pork from the hog I had butchered last month. Not to mention all the fresh produce from the garden.

Just bought a 7cuft deep freeze and need something to put in it.
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Regards,

roo_ster

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MrsSmith

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2011, 02:02:04 AM »
Quote from: seeker_two on July 22, 2011, 06:37:37 PM
You say that now....but just wait until the hot flashes start.....

=D

I dare you to come over here and say that little boy.

Let me just educate you a bit. While the male of the species reaches his prime at the average age of 18, when he's still wet behind the ears and doesn't know WTF he's doing, the female of the species (that would be me) reaches her prime a little later on, when we've gained a little experience, gained a little more worldliness, gotten comfortable in our skin, we know and like who we are, are confident, happy, and secure. And we know WTF we're doing. This lovely phase lasts for several years during which we enjoy the hell out of life. I'm only about a third of the way into that little phase. But I've also done my homework (and paid attention to some dynamic women who came before me) and learned how to avoid that whole hot flash thing all together. So I'm anticipating many more years in this amazing little period called the prime of my life. And loving every moment of it.  =D If you're still uncertain about women over 40, Google Andy Rooney's commentary on the subject.

In other words, the only hot flash you're going to get out of me will be from the muzzle of my gun.  ;)
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Brad Johnson

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #19 on: July 23, 2011, 02:05:48 AM »
Seeker, if you see  little red dot appear somewhere on your person... RUNNNNNN!!!!!!

Brad
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It's all about the pancakes, people.
"And he thought cops wouldn't chase... a STOLEN DONUT TRUCK???? That would be like Willie Nelson ignoring a pickup full of weed."
-HankB

MrsSmith

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #20 on: July 23, 2011, 02:10:05 AM »
Yeah. I prefer a moving target. More of a challenge.  [ar15]
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America is at that awkward stage; It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards. ~ Claire Wolfe

seeker_two

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #21 on: July 23, 2011, 08:02:31 AM »
Quote from: MrsSmith on July 23, 2011, 02:02:04 AM

In other words, the only hot flash you're going to get out of me will be from the muzzle of my gun.  ;)

As someone who prefers wine to grape juice, I appreciate all that the modern mature woman has to offer....and have on certain special occasions....  ;)

....but, when quality meat is on the line, one has to set one's priorities straight....

....therefore.....with meat tongs in hand and trauma plates firmly duct-taped....I'm prepared to channel my inner Ron Swanson and die on this hill today....all for the love of venison....


....BTW, they're not "hot flashes".....they're POWER SURGES......  :cool:






 =D
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MrsSmith

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #22 on: July 23, 2011, 10:33:24 AM »
Darlin' you go ahead and arm yourself with your tongs and protective gear and stand your ground. While you and your inner Ron are roasting in the heat and near death, I'll be roasting venison on my grill (maybe with a couple skewers of fresh caught shrimp thrown on too for variety) and sipping an ice cold beverage while trying not to gloat.  ;)

Cooler's on the way Larry.
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America is at that awkward stage; It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards. ~ Claire Wolfe

Brad Johnson

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #23 on: July 23, 2011, 11:51:09 AM »
To the THUNDERDOME!!

Brad
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It's all about the pancakes, people.
"And he thought cops wouldn't chase... a STOLEN DONUT TRUCK???? That would be like Willie Nelson ignoring a pickup full of weed."
-HankB

seeker_two

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Re: Food and pain
« Reply #24 on: July 23, 2011, 01:24:34 PM »
Quote from: MrsSmith on July 23, 2011, 10:33:24 AM
Darlin' you go ahead and arm yourself with your tongs and protective gear and stand your ground. While you and your inner Ron are roasting in the heat and near death, I'll be roasting venison on my grill (maybe with a couple skewers of fresh caught shrimp thrown on too for variety) and sipping an ice cold beverage while trying not to gloat.  ;)

SHRIMP!!!...that's practically a VEGETABLE... :facepalm:

....And I'll bet your cold beverage is something girly, too...like Bud Light...or Jim Beam.... ;/
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