Men and housework

[brimic]

I'm married, and I could see how that could be a real problem. It just seems like RevDisk is saying that people get married (or should get married) because they need help with housework and finances.

No. I think what he was trying to say was that he didn't want to marry a spoiled 'princess' who wanted to be waited hand and foot.
There are plenty of leeches out there like that (both men and women) but some of them are much better at concealing what they really are until after they are married. I'd say he dodged a big bullet.

[RevDisk]

I'm married, and I could see how that could be a real problem. It just seems like RevDisk is saying that people get married (or should get married) because they need help with housework and finances.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I'd prefer to get married because I love a woman and want to spend the rest of my life with her.

My point was actually the opposite. *I* don't need help with housework or finances, but if I am expected to do an unfair percentage of the work... That's not going to be happy in the long run. MrsSmith's example is what I had in mind. Now, every person is different, so it can be tricky. I just prefer a relationship to have SOME kind of equality of responsibility, as one part of the whole thing. Whether it is one partner works a gig and the other handles most of the domestic. One person handles interior work (housecleaning or whatnot), the other exterior (leaves, mowing or whatnot). If one person is holding the lion's share of the burdens (of any/all types) and the other can do their part but chooses not to do so, that is not love. That is codependency at best.

Again, generally speaking. Good friend of mine broke both her arms during a motocross race. Her fiance (boyfriend at the time) did virtually everything for her during her recovery. Great guy. My friend did not milk the situation, she had no choice in the matter. Everyone had to yell at her to not try doing daily tasks with her feet.

[Lee]

And there is also the whole factor of cleaning the pool, mowing the lawn, shoveling snow, raking/blowing leaves, fixing things around the house all conveniently somehow magically not being "work" and put into some other category of "play projects and not doing the stuff she thinks is important".

That defines my situation EXACTLY ('cept for the pool).  I my wife's world - the yard, house, computer, all other devices or machines maintain themselves, and require no financial support (in terms of preventative maintenance or upgrades), while her unloading of the dishwasher, 1 out of 3 times, is considered extreme labor.   And as with AJD - her opinion, is that I'm just happier than a pig in mud when I'm spending my free day trying to make a PC/laptop function, mowing the grass, inflating tires or unplugging toilets/sinks. And the money I spend to do those things is my extravagance -so she must going shopping to treat herself, out of "fairness".

[wmenorr67]

I thought that was the reason for children, to do all the chores you or the SO doesn't want to do.

[brimic]

That defines my situation EXACTLY ('cept for the pool).  I my wife's world - the yard, house, computer, all other devices or machines maintain themselves, and require no financial support (in terms of preventative maintenance or upgrades), while her unloading of the dishwasher, 1 out of 3 times, is considered extreme labor.   And as with AJD - her opinion, is that I'm just happier than a pig in mud when I'm spending my free day trying to make a PC/laptop function, mowing the grass, inflating tires or unplugging toilets/sinks. And the money I spend to do those things is my extravagance -so she must going shopping to treat herself, out of "fairness".

Well see, I got busted once opening my mouth.
My wife would always look out the window at me while I was mowing the lawn. One day she asked why I always had a big smile on my face while mowing.
I replied that I'm in my happy place- no kids or wife to bother me for a whole hour out of my week.
She decided that she was going to make mowing the lawn her job after that- unfortunately she didn't find it as therapeutic as I do and she decided it wasn't her thing after 2 goes at it.
OTOH, if my wife pisses me off and wants me to do a lot of house work in the same day, I can milk the job of fixing a car to take all day. Yes its a bit passive-aggresive, but if she thinks doing a brake job is a trivial matter versus her neurotic need to have me do some chore that she could just as easily handle, I'll take killing an entire day puttering around in my garage every time.