Author Topic: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...  (Read 3416 times)

K Frame

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He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« on: January 15, 2008, 09:30:01 PM »
 RICHMOND, Va. - It's one thing to dangle fuzzy dice from a rear view mirror, but decorating a trailer hitch with a large pair of rubber testicles might be a bit much in Virginia.
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State Del. Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, calling it a safety issue because it could distract other drivers.

Under his measure, displaying the ornamentation on a motor vehicle would be a misdemeanor punishable by a maximum fine of $250.

He said the idea came from a constituent whose young daughter spotted an example of the trail hitch adornment and asked her father to explain it.

"'I didn't know what to tell her,'" Spruill said the constituent told him before Spruill vowed to stop such displays.

"I said, 'Sir, I'm going to be a laughingstock, but I'm going to do it,'" he said.

The Virginia General Assembly has some experience with offbeat bills. Three years ago, it drew widespread attention with an unsuccessful effort to outlaw baggy pants worn so low they expose underwear.

Spruill, 61, said the indignity of the "droopy drawers" debate wouldn't deter him. He said he won't hesitate to bring a set of $24.95 trailer testicles with him for a legislative show-and-tell.

"I'm going to do it," Spruill told a handful of reporters after Tuesday's House session adjourned. "I'm going to bring them out here and show them to you till they tell me to stop."
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Finch

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2008, 12:11:15 AM »
He said the idea came from a constituent whose young daughter spotted an example of the trail hitch adornment and asked her father to explain it.

"'I didn't know what to tell her,'" Spruill said the constituent told him before Spruill vowed to stop such displays.

After all, the task of explaining basic anatomy is a daunting one.
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Declaration Day

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2008, 03:30:47 AM »

Jamisjockey

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2008, 03:39:37 AM »
No need to visit the website.  Watch for the nearest ahole driving erratically in a lifted, crew cab diesel truck.  He's probably got a set.
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Harold Tuttle

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2008, 04:22:41 AM »
Quote
Del. Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles

this bill will not accomplish his goal as the "Truck Balls" replicate bovine genitalia.
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Bigjake

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2008, 04:31:06 AM »
Quote
this bill will not accomplish his goal as the "Truck Balls" replicate bovine genitalia.

Duh.

We have a winner.

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BrokenPaw

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2008, 05:47:41 AM »
I think (no, belay that, I know) these things are crass, but being crass is just another way of exercising the individual freedom to tell other people you lack social graces.  So legislation to bad these things is stupid and pointless.  If they posed a legitimate safety hazard, that'd be one thing, but this is just pointless legislation of taste. 

The only pair of truck nuts that ever made me chuckle was just that.  A pair of 1.5" hex nuts.  Which is infinitely more clever, given that it's subtle enough to fly over the heads of kids, and is more appropriate to the vehicle, anyway, given that it's a machine and all.

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Manedwolf

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2008, 05:52:48 AM »

That's...uh...

Okay. Decals on mudflaps with busty women on them I can see. It's crass, but it's straight.

That...is well..if I saw that, not knowing the local culture there, I'd think the truck owner was heading to a special sort of bar. And probably wears one of those leather motorcycle caps that have been entirely co-opted by a certain group in society. 

WTF...


charby

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2008, 06:16:15 AM »
So after they outlaw testicles on vehicles are they going after the farmer next and require livestock have their genitalia and teats covered up? How would this constituent answer his daughter if he saw a 2k# Angus bull?


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Paddy

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2008, 06:49:21 AM »
I laugh every time I see those trucknutz, because they're such tiny little things.   laugh

Racehorse

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2008, 07:32:16 AM »
I've always been of the opinion that truck nutz are prosthetics for those lacking the real thing.

MechAg94

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2008, 11:32:41 AM »
So is he gonna extend this law to bulls in the pasture that he drives by? 
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Perd Hapley

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2008, 02:33:35 PM »
I think (no, belay that, I know) these things are crass, but being crass is just another way of exercising the individual freedom to tell other people you lack social graces.   


I think they're a good indicator of someone's mental and emotional age.  In this case, about thirteen.  Peeing Calvin stickers indicate a slightly lower level of development.  Then there's the "Unless you're a hemorrhoid" sticker.  I'm not sure which age level that one demonstrates. 
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Declaration Day

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2008, 03:06:32 PM »
Then there's the "Unless you're a hemorrhoid" sticker.  I'm not sure which age level that one demonstrates. 

I've never understood that one. 

For those of you who haven't seen it, it reads "Unless you're a hemorrhoid, stay off my ass." 

I understand the point of the sticker (though I agree it's low-class and juvenile) but it implies that the bearer of the sticker wants hemorrhoids on his / her ass.   undecided

Firethorn

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2008, 04:18:08 PM »
I understand the point of the sticker (though I agree it's low-class and juvenile) but it implies that the bearer of the sticker wants hemorrhoids on his / her ass.   undecided

'Only thing allowed up my ass is preperation-H?   undecided

Paddy

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2008, 04:31:57 PM »
Apparently you haven't had a prostate exam yet.  sad

never_retreat

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #16 on: January 16, 2008, 06:29:47 PM »
No need to visit the website.  Watch for the nearest ahole driving erratically in a lifted, crew cab diesel truck.  He's probably got a set.

Are you talking about me?
I'm all that except I'm not lifted.
And no truck nuts.
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BlueStarLizzard

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2008, 06:31:41 PM »
alright, i'm a viriginian and i've seen the truck balls. my mom told me that a friend from the barn (this is an english hunter/jumper barn BTW) has them on her truck hitch. i told my boss she should get them after her husband gave her crap for putting smaller tires on her truck, saying she had emasculated it. its a joke, perhaps not in the best of taste, but still, a joke. besides if the kid gets a dog, the dads still gonna have to explain why little rover has to get those things cut off, anatomy is anatomy is anatomy. its not like it has to be a sex ed lecture. just, boys have those and its part of what makes them boys. whats the big deal?
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Perd Hapley

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2008, 07:27:23 PM »
Then there's the "Unless you're a hemorrhoid" sticker.  I'm not sure which age level that one demonstrates. 

I've never understood that one. 

For those of you who haven't seen it, it reads "Unless you're a hemorrhoid, stay off my ass." 

I understand the point of the sticker (though I agree it's low-class and juvenile) but it implies that the bearer of the sticker wants hemorrhoids on his / her ass.   undecided

No kidding.  It could easily be re-worded.

And my boss has that bumper sticker.   rolleyes   
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Firethorn

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #19 on: January 17, 2008, 03:22:42 AM »
its not like it has to be a sex ed lecture. just, boys have those and its part of what makes them boys. whats the big deal?

The father got embarrased, now he wants to ruin everybody's fun.

BTW, it could have been worse, the guy could have stuck some replica boar balls on the hitch.

seeker_two

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #20 on: January 17, 2008, 04:15:15 AM »
What if your truck is female, like mine?.......

(I like the old naval tradition of calling your vessel "she".....)
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MechAg94

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #21 on: January 17, 2008, 06:09:48 AM »
Get some bigger head lights.  Take off the hitch. 
“It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”  ― Calvin Coolidge

charby

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #22 on: January 17, 2008, 07:24:15 AM »
Get some bigger head lights.  Take off the hitch. 

That is funny...
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Brad Johnson

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #23 on: January 17, 2008, 09:40:26 AM »
So are they going to outlaw well-endowed women in bikinis from driving around in convertables and open-top Jeeps?  That's pretty distracting, too.

Brad
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seeker_two

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Re: He's got balls, but not a lot of brains...
« Reply #24 on: January 17, 2008, 02:16:29 PM »
Get some bigger head lights.  Take off the hitch. 

Her headlights are big enough to hold in my hand....and that's good enough for me...  grin
Impressed yet befogged, they grasped at his vivid leading phrases, seeing only their surface meaning, and missing the deeper current of his thought.