I'm getting hitched.

[GigaBuist]

Sept. 27, 2008 is the date.  Any advise on making a wedding run smooth?

Here's the plan, pretty simple:

My parents own a greenhouse, about a 13 acre complex.  We're going to do it there in a 100'x100' greenhouse structure separated from the rest of it. It's nice because my mother and bride-to-be will be able to setup flowers and decorations a full 3-4 weeks before the wedding.  Lighting for the evening reception will be pretty cool to as it'll be pretty close to natural sunlight with a slight shift into the red spectrum, but not much.  It's a really nice "warm" light.

We should have about 175 guests, catering will be burgers, brats, hot dogs, etc.  Low cost, and the last wedding in the family did the same thing, and it was pretty neat.

Speaking of the last family wedding:  They invited our crazy aunt.  She's been committed against her will, so when I say crazy I mean it.  Her last episode involved getting violent when she was determined to dig up her dead daughter because she didn't really think she was dead.  At the last wedding she congratulated one of the bride's maids (the bride's sister, her own niece!) on getting married that day.  Twice.  Carried around a 8" high cross to protect her from the wiccans, chatted with my brother on the evils of wiccans and herpes for a good 15 minutes, broke down in tears twice, and gifted a fork to the bride's father.

Yeah, I'd prefer to avoid that for this one.

Logistics problem:  We'll be a good 200 yards from the bathroom and about 300 yards from the parking area.  Not every guest will be fit enough to walk that.

Solution in progress:  We've got a number of electric carts (they only seat one) but they can tow about 5 tons.  I need to find a way to rig up a seating cart to one so people can be shuttled about when needed.

Now, this is the fun part.  I gave that solution to Theresa (my bride) and she said, "Who would drive it?"  Uhm, she forgot about my 8 year old male cousin that is FASCINATED by tractors or any other type of equipment that moves.  I ran the idea passed his parents today and they're fine with it.  He drives that kinda stuff all over the other family greenhouse that his dad works in.  Today I told him, "Hey, Carrington, we're going to have that wedding out in the greenhouse, but not everybody will be able to make the walk from the parking lot or to the bathroom.  So, we're going to build a train but we need somebody to drive it, and...."  He raises his hand up, goes bug-eyed, and says, "CAN I DO IT?!"  That was easy.

I know costs are usually a big concern, but thankfully I'm not marrying somebody that's Bridezilla Crazy.  Our budget is small enough that we could cover it with our income tax returns this year.  She had a show on TV earlier tonight where women were picking out their wedding dresses, all between $3k and $6k, and she thought they were just as crazy as I did.

Oh, and the date, it's the same date that I joined THR.  I noticed that today and thought it was funny.

[Bogie]

Seriously, check out rental of a portajohn or three... May be cheaper than crafting a train...

[Paddy]

The details of the wedding are not important.  The depth of commitment between you and your wife is.  Best Wishes.

[wooderson]

I would never forgive the couple that made me use a portacan in my formal attire.

[wooderson]

Or my regular attire, for that matter.

[charby]

Any advise on making a wedding run smooth?

Just shut up and pay for it all.

[Regolith]

Only been to two weddings. My Uncle's and my cousin's.  A little boring, but the food was good. And the guy my cousin got married to has an FFL.


Have fun, good luck, congrats and all that jazz.   

[GigaBuist]

Seriously, check out rental of a portajohn or three... May be cheaper than crafting a train...

No way.  It might actually be cheaper but building a train to carry people is something my dad already wants to do.  He'd like one for giving kids tours of the facility.  That way parents could send the kids off on a tour while they do the flower shopping.  All I need to do is figure out how to mount a proper seat onto one of the 600+ carts that already attach to the towing gear.

Plus, people hate using porta-potties.

The details of the wedding are not important.  The depth of commitment between you and your wife is.  Best Wishes.

Oh, no worries there.  Everything on that front is good and ready, that's what lets me fret about the little things.

[Scout26]

Congrats and Condolences.  (you'll understand in about 20 years).


Oh you have to invite the crazy aunt.    There's a law that says there has to be a least one whacked out (or extremely drunk) relative at a wedding that embarrasses not only him or herself, but everyone, on both sides.

When my wife and I got married back in '87 we had both our wedding and reception at Ft Sheridan, IL, just north of Chicago.  At that time, a sleepy little back water post that was home of the US Army's Recruiting Command.   Some of my mom's side came up from south-central Illinois in a ancient, converted from school bus, to mobile hunting lodge, known as the Wahoo bus.

I had talked to the Provost Marshal (really nice LTC) well before the wedding to see if it was allowed and about what, if anything was needed to have a bunch of civilians on post for a wedding and reception ("Nothing, really." was his answer. )   

Well, the day after the wedding, I swing by the PM's office, as I'm an MP Officer, to say thanks and pay my respects to the PM before heading off on our honeymoon.

He smiles, looks at me, and says "That was the best training and most excitement my MP's have had in the three years I've been here.  Don't ever set foot on my post again."

To this day, I have no idea what happened, but everyone on my mom's side agrees that my wedding was the best and most fun they've ever had.   

Now on to your questions:

We'll be a good 200 yards from the bathroom and about 300 yards from the parking area.  Not every guest will be fit enough to walk that.

Ushers with cattle prods at the parking area will solve one problem.  A sign that says "Crappers & Pissers - A Long Fairway Wood thataway --->" will spur on the weak-bladdered attendees.

she forgot about my 8 year old male cousin that is FASCINATED by tractors or any other type of equipment that moves

  An 8 year old driving/towing people on a Disneyland parking lot-type people hauler, That'll make a MUCH better video then the Crazy Aunt on "Weddings Gone Horribly Wrong." 

Our budget is small enough that we could cover it with our income tax returns this year.

  Okay, even if you have a cash bar with Hot Dogs and Burgers, you still won't have enough to cover.  Trust me.

Any advise on making a wedding run smooth?

Yep, 20 bucks and full tank of gas.

[Brad Johnson]

My only advice is "Flowers last a day.  Photos last a lifetime." 

Brad

[Perd Hapley]

Any advise on making a wedding run smooth?

Just shut up and pay for it all.   

Yeah, right.  Traditionally, the groom isn't supposed to pay for very much of the wedding expenses.  If they did, weddings would all be performed by a justice of the peace.   

[lee n. field]

Logistics problem:  We'll be a good 200 yards from the bathroom and about 300 yards from the parking area.  Not every guest will be fit enough to walk that.

Rent a passenger van.  Hire some kid for the afternoon to run shuttle service.

know costs are usually a big concern, but thankfully I'm not marrying somebody that's Bridezilla Crazy.  Our budget is small enough that we could cover it with our income tax returns this year.  She had a show on TV earlier tonight where women were picking out their wedding dresses, all between $3k and $6k, and she thought they were just as crazy as I did.

My oldest daughter (married over this last Labor Day weekend) bought a used wedding dress. 

[mfree]

I've been to two weddings in recent memory. #1 went just fine, was a little thing in a college historical chapel, and I got asked to run the music system (a little boombox type stereo).

#2 was... bigger. And I was a groomsman. And *I* was part of the goofiness, 'cause on one of the runs to vandalize the bride and groom's cars, I lost my truck keys. In the tizzy to find them, I unlocked the door on the friend's car that I rode in down to one of them, expecting keys stuck in a seat or something... and set the car alarm off.

Wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been parked right outside the OPEN reception hall :-D

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

i was a chef in the wedding racket and it sounds like you got the important part down . the right attitude. never lose sight of whose wedding it is. your and wifes  primarily hers. don't let some "wedding professional" take over your event
cheapest wedding i ever did was 600 bucks in food and 2 agency waiters at 125 apiece. most over the top was alil over amill for 650 guests.  guess which one was the best

[CmereYou]

Cass- really hard to understand you, brah.

When I get married it's just going to be some family from each side, a rabbi, and a beach. I'd rather spend the money on a house. My half-sister had a huge expensive wedding and was divorced five years later. My parents were married under a tree in an orchard, and they're never leaving each other.

[Bogie]

Consider too if people can easily get on/off the people mover. A van may work out better. I hate the carts that they use at Knob Creek, because my knees scream at that high step...
 

[GigaBuist]

Van won't work.   We're talking indoors here.

Consider too if people can easily get on/off the people mover.

Good point.  The base train carts that I'll be working with ride 4-5" high off the ground.  That should be fine.

Just shut up and pay for it all. 

It looks like we're going to split it down the middle, or at least as close as we can.  I'll probably end up paying for a bit more of it than her though.  No worries there.

My oldest daughter (married over this last Labor Day weekend) bought a used wedding dress.

Not bad advise, but she already bought her dress and all the trimmings.

[Phantom Warrior]

I don't really have much in the way of wedding advice, but I did use port-a-potties for 15 months while I was in Iraq.  I would really recommend against port-a-potties, esp at a formal event.  That pile of crap and TP and blue water in the bottom really brings down the tone of the whole event.  And they are stinky.  Just a thought...

[seeker_two]

Make sure you show up at least 30 minutes late for the wedding. The bride just loves it when you do that......

...don't ask me how I know........


Congratulations and best wishes to you and your new bride.....

[charby]

When I go married, we got married and had our reception in a converted dairy barn at Amana, IA. The restrooms were 200 yards away from the barn and it ended up being 35 degrees that day also in October. We had old folks and young folks, no one seemed to mind the walk to the restrooms.

[Bogie]

Oh, and since everyone pretty much knows about your aunt, make her part of the entertainment...

"Oh, and Cousin Bill? You know Aunt Agatha will probably be there... Yup. That one. Well, we've decided that the best thing to do is just make sure she has a really good time - so everyone needs to stop by and chat with her for at least two-three minutes each, and make sure she has plenty to eat and drink - can you help with that?"

You get enough people to volunteer to be the designated loony watcher for 5 minute slots, and you'll wear her out, and everyone will have a great time. Among the loony watchers, set up a pool or something as to what activity will ensure...
 
When my sister got married for the second time (the one that was NOT to the demented troll...), she decided that the whole thing was really all about the children. Ceremony took about five minutes. Socially acceptable child abuse at the resort took up the rest of the weekend - I think the family's kids (about 2 dozen in the whole extended unit...) were fully sick of things like "okay - now you get to go on a horse ride!" or "tonight we're going to roast marshmallows around a campfire!" by the time it was over...