IIRC, it wasn't even a SWISS army knife...more like a chinese knockoff, with the blade probably made of a zinc-elephant dung alloy...
Marketing proposal: Buy a good knife for more efficient auto-amputations.
I vote for the trach guy. The amputation guy should not have been out alone in a remote area with no one to check on him if he didn't show up. I guess one may choose to assume that kind of risk, and I've also enjoyed the exhiliration of solo backpacking, but it's still not a great practice in very remote or hazardous areas.
The trach guy doesn't lose any points for stupid, but gains a few for super-quick thinking while oxygen deprived.