Author Topic: Ok, this is hilarious  (Read 8392 times)

41magsnub

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Ok, this is hilarious
« on: June 04, 2008, 07:45:46 AM »
http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/06/service-lets-yo.html

Website Lets You Send a Post-Rapture E-Mail to Friends 'Left Behind'
By Kevin Poulsen EmailJune 03, 2008 | 3:42:43 PM

Rapture If millions of Christians suddenly disappear from the face of the Earth as the opening act for Armageddon, Threat Level thinks most nonbelievers will be too busy freaking the hell out to check their e-mail. But if they do log in, now they can be treated to some post-Rapture needling from their missing friends and loved ones, courtesy of web startup YouveBeenLeftBehind.com.

For just $40 a year, believers can arrange for up to 62 people to get a final message exactly six days after the Rapture, that day when -- according to Christian end times dogma -- Christians will be swept up to heaven, while doubters are left behind to suffer seven years of Tribulation under a global government headed by the Antichrist.

"You've Been Left Behind gives you one last opportunity to reach your lost family and friends for Christ," reads the website, which is purportedly run "by Christians, for Christians." The domain name is registered through an anonymous proxy service, presumably to protect the proprietors from the Forces of Darkness, and not because they're up to anything shady.

The e-mails will be triggered when three of the site's five Christian staffers "scattered around the U.S." fail to log in for six days in a row -- a system that incorporates a nice margin of safety, should two of the proprietors turn out to be unrepentant sinners or atheists.

Users can also upload up to 150 megabytes of documents, which will be protected by an unidentified encryption algorithm until the Rapture, then released to up to 12 nonbelievers of your choice. The site recommends that you use that storage to house sensitive financial information.

"In the encrypted portion of your account you can give them access to your banking, brokerage, hidden valuables, and powers of attorneys," the site says. "There won't be any bodies, so probate court will take seven years to clear your assets to your next of kin. Seven years, of course, is all the time that will be left. So, basically the Government of the Antichrist gets your stuff, unless you make it available in another way."

Of course, some of us would  sooner trust the Antichrist with our stuff than turn it over to a company that hides behind an anonymous domain registration service, and doesn't list a single corporate officer or employee by name on its website.

The company, You've Been Left Behind LLC, didn't respond to an e-mail query, raising the obvious question of whether the Rapture has already begun. Developing &

K Frame

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2008, 07:50:40 AM »
Most religions don't believe in the rapture.

Oddly enough, most Christian religions don't believe in it, either.

It's primiarly a fundamentalist/pentacostal belief, and as a religious concept only dates back to the late 1700s/early 1800s.
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mtnbkr

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2008, 07:51:46 AM »
countdown to DOS attack that keeps them from logging in... Cheesy

Chris

HankB

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2008, 08:00:34 AM »
Here's a story that was posted at various Darwin Awards sites . . .

Quote
ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as a "mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye-witnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman, who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she believed was Jesus.

"She started screaming `He's back! He's back!' and climbed out through the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. "She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on his way to a toga costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which then floated up into the sky.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration and said "Come back," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into heaven as they drove by him.

"I think my wife loved Jesus more than she loved me," the widower said when asked why his wife would do such a thing.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen." 
I don't know if it's actually a true story . . . I have my doubts . . . but it ought to be.
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Manedwolf

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2008, 08:09:29 AM »
I just recall a bug in the original Team Fortress on a map. Someone froze and started slowly rising into the sky. They paged "RAPTURE!!!!!"

And then someone shot them down, and paged "NO RAPTURE. YOU GO TO HELL." cheesy

xavier fremboe

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2008, 08:13:20 AM »
Six days?  Surely they can hire an atheist or two as a failsafe.  If your coworkers suddenly vanish, go ahead and hit the 'send' button.  What's the subject line of that e-mail?   Nanny nanny boo-boo?
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mtnbkr

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2008, 08:13:27 AM »
I just recall a bug in the original Team Fortress on a map. Someone froze and started slowly rising into the sky. They paged "RAPTURE!!!!!"

And then someone shot them down, and paged "NO RAPTURE. YOU GO TO HELL." cheesy

Is it wrong that I just giggled like a schoolgirl after reading that?

Chris

charby

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2008, 09:55:57 AM »
countdown to DOS attack that keeps them from logging in... Cheesy

Chris

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Marnoot

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2008, 09:57:25 AM »
I don't know if it's actually a true story . . . I have my doubts . . . but it ought to be.

It's a piece written by a guy after seeing one of those "In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned" bumper stickers, his remarks on its viral spread here:
http://www.elroysemporium.com/news/rapturetalk.html

Phyphor

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2008, 10:34:11 AM »
I just recall a bug in the original Team Fortress on a map. Someone froze and started slowly rising into the sky. They paged "RAPTURE!!!!!"

And then someone shot them down, and paged "NO RAPTURE. YOU GO TO HELL." cheesy

God, that brought back so many TFC memories.  Maybe I'll start a new thread.
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41magsnub

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2008, 10:37:48 AM »
I just recall a bug in the original Team Fortress on a map. Someone froze and started slowly rising into the sky. They paged "RAPTURE!!!!!"

And then someone shot them down, and paged "NO RAPTURE. YOU GO TO HELL." cheesy

God, that brought back so many TFC memories.  Maybe I'll start a new thread.


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Werewolf

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2008, 11:05:36 AM »
Quote
run "by Christians, for Christians."
 
 rolleyes

Yeahhhhhhhhh...
...... Riiiiiiight!

What a scam! Wish I'd thought of it. There'll be enough suckers buy into that that the operators will be set for life.
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AJ Dual

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2008, 11:43:15 AM »
I lobbied, unsuccessfully, for weeks to get my co-workers to bring in extra shoes and clothes, then arrange them in neat life-like piles in chairs and around the office, toss some papers on the floor, leave a phone or two off the hook, and maybe even a dropped coffee cup for effect&

Then we'd all leave for an off-site lunch at the favorite watering hole on the day the one co-worker who never shut up about the "Left Behind" novels and the Kirk Cameron movie was coming in late because of a doctor's appointment.

They thought it was funny, but nobody had the stones to do it.  angry
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2008, 01:59:18 PM »
I lobbied, unsuccessfully, for weeks to get my co-workers to bring in extra shoes and clothes, then arrange them in neat life-like piles in chairs and around the office, toss some papers on the floor, leave a phone or two off the hook, and maybe even a dropped coffee cup for effect&

Then we'd all leave for an off-site lunch at the favorite watering hole on the day the one co-worker who never shut up about the "Left Behind" novels and the Kirk Cameron movie was coming in late because of a doctor's appointment.

They thought it was funny, but nobody had the stones to do it.  angry

A shame you didn't go through with it, AJ, you diabolical genius.   laugh


Quote
Most religions don't believe in the rapture.

Oddly enough, most Christian religions don't believe in it, either.

It's primiarly a fundamentalist/pentacostal belief, and as a religious concept only dates back to the late 1700s/early 1800s.

It seems pretty common in America, though.  Or at least among most Christians I've met. 
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doc2rn

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2008, 04:46:19 PM »
If it is being run by christians who is gonna press the send button? rolleyes

xavier fremboe

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #15 on: June 04, 2008, 04:48:19 PM »
If it is being run by christians who is gonna press the send button? rolleyes

See post 6.   smiley
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vernal45

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #16 on: June 04, 2008, 05:22:39 PM »
Quote
It's primiarly a fundamentalist/pentacostal belief, and as a religious concept only dates back to the late 1700s/early 1800s./quote]

Exactly right.  It is not mentioned in the bible, yet in christian teachings it has a big following.  I believe it was "invented" by a brit pastor trying to "inspire" his church. 

Perd Hapley

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #17 on: June 04, 2008, 07:13:30 PM »
"Not mentioned in the Bible"?  Not quite.  I'm undecided on the issue, but that side certainly has scriptural passages on which to base its views.  They may not be correctly interpreted, but it's not as if it is made from whole cloth, either. 

FWIW, I learned the rapture/dispensational view (and only that view) when growing up, but was unaware of the controversy over it.  Until further study, I'm not committed either way. 
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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #18 on: June 04, 2008, 07:59:38 PM »
Rapture semi-mention, in one of the Gospels, IIRC: "Two women will be grinding wheat. One will be taken, the other left." Paraphrased, of course.

Everybody's guessing about the whole end-of-the-world business.
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K Frame

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #19 on: June 05, 2008, 02:56:16 AM »
"Not mentioned in the Bible"

That's right, it's not mentioned in the Bible specifically, as in "Verily I say unto thee, upon commencement of the Rapture, thine automobile shalt be driverless."

There are lots of Bible passages that allow the reader to infer, via interpretation, that the Rapture could happen.

Then again, there are a lot of passages in the Bible that allow the reader to peg the age of the earth as being about 6,200 years old, created on a Tuesday afternoon in October.

Uhm... yeah.


The Rapture is a relatively new interpretation of scripture, and its main proponents are amongst the fundamentalists, born agains, and pentecostals. It fits in with their entire fire and brimstone take on religion.

The United Methodist Church, though? It's not a tenet that is central to Methodist teaching, although I am sure that there are some ministers who preach it, and congregation members who believe it.

It's not at all a part of Catholic dogma, either.
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charby

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #20 on: June 05, 2008, 05:19:53 AM »

It's not at all a part of Catholic dogma, either.

From the Catholic Encyclopedia

Time

As was stated above, the signs that are to precede the judgment give no accurate indication of the time when it will occur (Mark 13:32). When the Disciples asked the Saviour: "Lord, wilt thou at this time restore again the kingdom to Israel?" He answered: "It is not for you to know the times or moments, which the Father hath put in his own power" (Acts 1:6-7). The uncertainty of the day of judgment is continually urged by Christ and the Apostles as an incentive to vigilance. The day of the Lord will come "as a thief" (Matthew 24:42-43), like lightning suddenly appearing (Matthew 24:27), like a snare (Luke 21:34), as the Deluge (Matthew 24:37).


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K Frame

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #21 on: June 05, 2008, 05:37:19 AM »
But the concept of the Rapture, as it is advanced by the Pentecostal faiths, isn't mirrored in Catholic teachings.

I'm getting out of my league here, as I'm not Catholic, and I don't have a good understanding of how the Catholics view the period of tribulation, the Second Coming, and Judgement Day.

This site: http://www.catholic.com/library/Rapture.asp mirrors fairly well the discussions I've had with several Catholic coworkers.
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charby

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #22 on: June 05, 2008, 06:17:53 AM »
But the concept of the Rapture, as it is advanced by the Pentecostal faiths, isn't mirrored in Catholic teachings.

I'm getting out of my league here, as I'm not Catholic, and I don't have a good understanding of how the Catholics view the period of tribulation, the Second Coming, and Judgement Day.

This site: http://www.catholic.com/library/Rapture.asp mirrors fairly well the discussions I've had with several Catholic coworkers.


I was just supporting your statement Mike. Smiley Myself being raised Catholic and having nuns for teachers and such.



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freakazoid

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #23 on: June 05, 2008, 06:24:03 AM »
lol. There is another site that will send mail to your friends who are left behind, http://postrapturepost.com/ So sad, this stuff is either by people who are good meaning but really full of themselves or by some scam artists,  angry

My thoughts on it are if it is true then the people to go would probably be people who have been exceptionally good people, but I am not sure if it is something that is supposed to take place. Of course when I go to church it is with my mom to a Pentecostal church, Tongue Doesn't it say somewhere about there being 144,000 people being taken?
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K Frame

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Re: Ok, this is hilarious
« Reply #24 on: June 05, 2008, 06:27:15 AM »
Yes, I know you were, Charby.

As I said, I was doing an extraction because once we started quoting the Catholic Encyclopedia, I'm at the end of my tether.

Essentially, Judgement Day and The Rapture are very closely related concepts, as is discussed in the link that I provided. It's all tied in with the Second Coming of Christ and the establishment of the Kingdom of Heaven. It's the fine details that differ.
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