This article really trips my trigger

[Lee]

Attitudes like this are driving this society down the tubes.  What is wrong with kids helping care for an aged/ill family member?  I realize that they shouldn't have sole responsibility for taking care of a terribly demented or handicapped person...but a kid SHOULD be expected to contribute.  I guess this type of responsibilty sherking is exactly why societal breakdowns (like New Orleans) do occur.  The attitude seems to be - " let someone else do it and have the government pay for it".  Sheeeeesh.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2005-09-13-caregivers_x.htm

1 million U.S. children are caregivers
By Janet Kornblum, USA TODAY
More than 1 million children in the USA take care of sick or disabled relatives, shopping, feeding, dressing, medicating and even changing adult diapers, a government-financed study finds. It is the first to document what advocacy groups call a hidden national problem.
The 1.3 million to 1.4 million child caregivers, ages 8 to 18, have responsibilities more suited to adults, the national survey says. It will be presented at a conference Friday by the National Alliance for Caregiving and the United Hospital Fund, with financing from the U.S. Administration on Aging. (Related story: When child cares for parent)

"This is a failing of our health-care system," says Gail Gibson Hunt, president of the alliance, a non-profit coalition of family groups.

It estimates that 44.4 million adults in the USA provide unpaid care for another adult. But child caregivers largely have remained hidden and often stay silent because they fear being separated from parents.

"We know that children have always played a role in assisting their families, especially in minority communities where they frequently act as interpreters and care for their siblings," says Josefina Carbonell, Assistant Secretary for Aging in the Department of Health and Human Services. "Yet this report reveals that a significant percentage of these children are providing much more personal and complex tasks."

Most care for parents and grandparents who have ailments such as Alzheimer's disease and cancer. At least 75% get some help, but half say they spend a substantial amount of time caregiving. And even those who are not the primary caregiver perform many tasks by themselves.

"Sometimes lower- to mid-income families really fall through the cracks," says Nancy Law of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, which assists young caregivers.

According to the study, 58% of child caregivers help with at least one routine daily activity, such as bathing, dressing, getting in and out of beds and chairs, eating, and using the toilet or changing adult diapers. Nearly all help with shopping, household tasks and meal preparation, the report says.

"This is a problem we have not even recognized, much less started to address," says Hunt, who will present the findings at the conference on Friday. "These kids are vulnerable."

The report was based on two surveys by Mathew Greenwald & Associates. The first was a random phone survey of 2,000 U.S. households in September 2003 to determine the prevalence of child caregiving. The margin of error was 1 to 2 percentage points. A second survey did phone interviews with 213 child caregivers and 250 non-caregiving children. The margin of error was 6 and 7 percentage points, respectively. Results were similar to studies done on caregivers in the United Kingdom.

[crt360]

I guess this type of responsibilty sherking is exactly why societal breakdowns (like New Orleans) do occur.

It's my understanding that it was quite the opposite.  Thousands of people who could have gotten themselves out in time stayed behind to continue to care for their sick, weak and immobile family members.

I agree with the article.  There's nothing wrong with helping out a little here and there, but no kids need to be spending a substantial portion of their daily lives doing the same job that adult health care workers get paid $20+ an hour doing.

I think part of the problem is that we've advanced medically enough to keep people who would've once died alive, but in such a poor condition that constant medical care or living assistance is required.

The day I'm convinced that my kid will have to devote substantial time each day to moving my lifeless butt around, feeding me, dressing me, changing my diaper, wiping my ass, bathing me, etc., I'm checking out.

[Lee]

"According to the study, 58% of child caregivers help with at least one routine daily activity, such as bathing, dressing, getting in and out of beds and chairs, eating, and using the toilet or changing adult diapers. Nearly all help with shopping, household tasks and meal preparation, the report says."

Yeah your right.... that's a terribly unfair burden to ask them to take care of grandma.  I'm fine if you want to "check out"....I'll probely be the same way.  My point is, that it isn't the State's job to care for you or your grandma...it should be a family affair...as it has been for thousands of years...and still is in most societies.

Edited to add- The number one reason I heard NO residents give for not leaving was, "we don't have anywhere to go".  Likely because, they have few extended family bonds.  Reliance on the government has eliminated the need for maintaining extended family bonds- or so they thought.

[S. Williamson]

No kids need to be spending a substantial portion of their daily lives doing the same job that adult health care workers get paid $20+ an hour doing.

The kids do it because adult health care workers charge $20+ an hour.

[grampster]

This is actually a complicated thing.  Medical care has advanced and as a result there are other options available that were not 50 or so years ago.  Families are not as large now as then.  Our tax policy, rampant consumerism, and other societal changes causes those who may have been care givers to exercise other options.
There has been an assault on the family in regards that it "takes a village" rather than personal responsibility.  That is socialism, my friends.  That is what the left wants and this article reinforces it by attempting to put a bad taste in your mouth respecting familial duty.

Break down the activities described in the article and think about it for a moment.  Getting out of a chair?  Out of bed? help with a meal? etc.  I was doing some of these things for my elderly mom and feeling guilty because I didn't think I was doing enough for her, for crickey sake.  On the other hand careful use of the village can be beneficial.

  Now she is living in adult assisted living because she can afford it, she wants to, has activities with her peers, a roomate to banter with, has good home cooked meals, her meds are monitered, etc, and can deal with us, her family, when she feels like it.  She's 93.  Everybody is glad she has these options.  But if they were not available, she'd be living with us.  We'd all be content, but the options are nice.  On the other hand...  

The article seems to indicate kids are enslaved somehow in taking care of family members.  What would the % be if the article discussed how many kids are devoting most of their day to care giving rather than lumping in all of the mundane tasks that only take a moment to accomplish, or maybe once a week?

I suspect their would be no story.  This article is another example of sensationalizing a routine every day occurance that goes on widely and is of no consequence.  Are there kids who have been delegated the responsibility to have their childhood interupted?  Most certainly.  Has it been going on forever? Yes.  And I suspect some of those kids will have lives that will be much more succesful and gratifying because of it.  I would rather see more kids be confronted with the necessity of being responsible than some of the raggedy a** no accounts one sees moping around the local malls.

[Lee]

Grampster- thank you for putting most of my thoughts into words.  

I am really struck by this on another level as well.  Perhaps I was lucky, but I LOVED my grandparents and parents.  Even when my grandma was dying of cancer and spending most of her time in bed, I enjoyed our card games and the stories she told.  I wish I could re-live those days and ask her much more. I wish I could have asked them ALL a lot more, and told them how much they meant to me.  
I realize that the two income household adds a whole new dimension to this, but  to think of my loved ones sitting in a building full of strangers when they need me the most, just makes me sick.  I hope that my kids (and grandkids some day) will think I'm more than an old bag of puss that needs to be stored somewhere.  
BTW where are these $ 20 /hour nursing home jobs -I might apply.

[Moondoggie]

Wife and I moved to this small town in Nebraska (her home town, 90 mi from where I grew up) specifically to look after her Mom who is now 82.  She's doing fine, but noticeably deteriorating in memory, conversational ability, and physical ability.  We live next door to her and I take of her yard and snow removal plus any and every household chore.  She still drives a little bit, but I look for that to end soon...she won't drive once winter sets in and I doubt that she'll take it up again next spring.  She still quilts, prepares her own meals, and cleans her own house.

She is very candid about all of the inheritance issues...my wife and I are the personal reps for her life estate plus having the appropriate POA's.  I don't think it will be too long before we have to step in and take over her financial affairs.  She forgot to pay her 1st half property taxes this yr and incurred a $90 total penalty (on 3 adjacent properties).  She's really frugal, and losing that $90 really irritated her!

She has nursing home insurance and BC/BS in addition to Medicare.  She'd prefer to go to a nursing home than depend on us for some of the more personal tasks mentioned above.  We'll weigh the cost/benefits when the time comes, but she's just as interested as us in protecting her assets from being depleted by nursing home costs.

BTW, nursing homes may charge $20/hr, but they don't pay their employees anywhere near that amount.   They, like many hospitals, are merely "for profit" corporations most often owned by a huge conglomerate.

[crt360]

Nobody has mentioned Adult Protective Services yet.  Sometimes the best-intentioned family care is insufficient in the eyes of the government.  That is to say, "you may not have a choice in the matter."  As much as you may wish to provide long-term care for your infirm family members, your care - though full of love, compassion, and sense of family duty - may not meet acceptable standards.

There's nothing wrong with having kids participate in activities like mowing grandma's yard, preparing meals, picking up medication, and doing other chores to make life easier, but once you start asking your ten year old to carry an invalid from one location to another (something I've had to do and found very difficult even as a 6'3" 250lb. guy), you may have Child Protective Services called on you as well.

As for the $20/hr jobs, true, most nursing home employees probably don't make near that, but I was averaging those non-degreed, sheet-changing, wheelchair-pushing, cleaning, etc. jobs in with home health care nurses, LPN's and others involved who do actually make more than that.  If you want to make $20+ an hour, go to nursing school.

[SteveS]

I have no problem taking care of my parents.  My dad and aunt took care of my grandmother before she died.  Whn my wife and I bought our house, we got one bigger than we needed, with the thought that we might need to take care of our parents some day.  We don't view it as a burden, but a reponsibility.

OTOH, the article states:

"More than 1 million children in the USA take care of sick or disabled relatives, shopping, feeding, dressing, medicating and even changing adult diapers, a government-financed study finds. It is the first to document what advocacy groups call a hidden national problem.
The 1.3 million to 1.4 million child caregivers, ages 8 to 18, have responsibilities more suited to adults, the national survey says."

I have a hard time expecting an 8 year old having to provide an extensive amount of care, such as being responsible for medicating an adult.  There is no reason that a child couldn't help around the house, cook some means, help with dressing, etc.  OTOH, if the adult were seriously mentally ill, or the child was somehow responsible for the health and safety of the parent, I might thing that was too much of a responsibility.  I'll give an example.  I worked with a 13 year old girl that lived with her mother (no siblings and dad was gone).  The mother was bi-polar.  For the most part, she was ok when she took her medication.  The girl was fed and had a place to live.  Unfortunately, when mom was on one of her "down" periods, she would get depressed and suicidal.  The girl would worry if mom would be alive when she got home from school and would have to make sure she got her medication.  

I realize this is a somewhat extreme example, but I just don't think that children should be responsible for the safety of their parents (at least not until they are adults).