Author Topic: Craigslist Funny - Merged Threads  (Read 7506 times)

Otherguy Overby

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Craigslist Funny - Merged Threads
« on: January 20, 2009, 07:10:07 PM »
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.

I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.

If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
Peace!

- Alex
Guns
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MicroBalrog

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2009, 07:12:10 PM »
Duplicate.
Destroy The Enemy in Hand-to-Hand Combat.

"...tradition and custom becomes intertwined and are a strong coercion which directs the society upon fixed lines, and strangles liberty. " ~ William Graham Sumner

Manedwolf

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2009, 08:05:33 PM »
So he's posting that he:

Quote
I also bought myself some gas on your card.

1. Had poor defensive pistol technique.
2. Committed credit card fraud, which is an arrestable offense, felony, I believe.
3. Was planning to make a threatening call to law enforcement, which is also an arrestable offense.

Not that smart a guy, is he.

Gewehr98

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2009, 08:13:23 PM »
Umm, what was so poor about his defensive pistol technique?

Appears to have worked just fine...
"Bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...

http://neuralmisfires.blogspot.com

"Never squat with your spurs on!"

Jamisjockey

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2009, 08:20:48 PM »
Without a link, I raise my flag
JD

 The price of a lottery ticket seems to be the maximum most folks are willing to risk toward the dream of becoming a one-percenter. “Robert Hollis”

Gewehr98

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2009, 08:27:03 PM »
Linky pointing to now-deleted Craigslist post (not hard to find, either):

http://savannah.craigslist.org/rnr/982132493.html
"Bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...

http://neuralmisfires.blogspot.com

"Never squat with your spurs on!"

Lbys

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2009, 08:30:39 PM »
Yeah, there's that one, and also another:

http://savannah.craigslist.org/rnr/982829270.html

Problem is, the original post isn't in CL anymore.  I'm guessing somebody flagged it, for any number of reasons.

Also, the BS flag:  not big enough.  Could you make it larger?
Correlation does not indicate causation.

zahc

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2009, 08:47:42 PM »
It's almost surely fake; people make posts like this all the time in hopes of getting on the 'best of craigslist' list.
Maybe a rare occurence, but then you only have to get murdered once to ruin your whole day.
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MillCreek

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2009, 09:35:41 PM »
It's almost surely fake; people make posts like this all the time in hopes of getting on the 'best of craigslist' list.

Bummer.  As soon as I read the original post, I thought "this is best of craigslist material'.  It did not occur to me that people would make fake posts in this regard.
_____________
Regards,
MillCreek
Snohomish County, WA  USA


Quote from: Angel Eyes on August 09, 2018, 01:56:15 AM
You are one lousy risk manager.

Jamisjockey

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2009, 10:26:42 PM »
It's almost surely fake; people make posts like this all the time in hopes of getting on the 'best of craigslist' list.

I'm okay with good fakeies trying to get into the "Best of".
JD

 The price of a lottery ticket seems to be the maximum most folks are willing to risk toward the dream of becoming a one-percenter. “Robert Hollis”

Perd Hapley

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2009, 11:54:09 PM »
I'm stunned that any of you guys would believe that thing, even for a second. 
Can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are the gift of God?
--Thomas Jefferson

Gewehr98

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2009, 12:21:28 AM »
Who said we believe it?

Hell, I don't believe half the stuff posted on APS. ;)
"Bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...

http://neuralmisfires.blogspot.com

"Never squat with your spurs on!"

Physics

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2009, 01:05:13 AM »
Hell, I don't believe half the stuff posted on APS. ;)

Especially the physics threads.  That is some scary stuff right there.   :O


I like the BS flag Jamis.   =D
In the world of science, there is physics.  Everything else is stamp collecting.  -Ernest Rutherford

Strings

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #13 on: January 21, 2009, 11:52:31 PM »
To quote Spoon: "Whether it's true or not, it's f***in' hilarious!"

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gunsmith

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2009, 02:24:16 AM »
I used to put out fake personal adds all the time, full of gems like.

"its my remote"
"I like the toilet seat up"
"I have a job and a pulse, consider yourself lucky"
"I want to date a 22 year old supermodel, but you'll do"

The women on CL are very liberal, and I set out to yank their chains and be cantankerous and satirical, I even got a reply or two, mostly angry gALS THAT DIDN'T GET THE JOKE...ooops cap lock sorry
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seeker_two

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #15 on: January 22, 2009, 06:19:21 AM »
I like it....quite witty, but doubtlessly fake....

Who said we believe it?

Hell, I don't believe half the stuff posted on APS. ;)

Very true....I actually LIKE Glen Campbell....  =D
Impressed yet befogged, they grasped at his vivid leading phrases, seeing only their surface meaning, and missing the deeper current of his thought.

Gewehr98

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Re: FW from Craigs List
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2009, 02:31:19 AM »
Again with the Glen Campbell *expletive deleted*it...  ;/

"Bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...

http://neuralmisfires.blogspot.com

"Never squat with your spurs on!"

Werewolf

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Best Craig's list post EVER...
« Reply #17 on: February 03, 2009, 04:56:26 PM »
Best Craig's list Post Ever

Like the OP says - probably bogus - but it is darn funny and well worth the read.

Enjoy!
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love
truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

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MicroBalrog

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Re: Best Craig's list post EVER...
« Reply #18 on: February 03, 2009, 04:59:36 PM »
Destroy The Enemy in Hand-to-Hand Combat.

"...tradition and custom becomes intertwined and are a strong coercion which directs the society upon fixed lines, and strangles liberty. " ~ William Graham Sumner

RoadKingLarry

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Re: Best Craig's list post EVER...
« Reply #19 on: February 03, 2009, 05:22:32 PM »
duplicate.

Yeah but I got my post from another forum plugged here:)!
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

Samuel Adams

Gewehr98

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Re: Craigslist Funny - Merged Threads
« Reply #20 on: February 03, 2009, 08:34:56 PM »
Merged topics.

"Those who forget APS history are doomed to repeat it"   =D
"Bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...

http://neuralmisfires.blogspot.com

"Never squat with your spurs on!"

Tuco

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Re: Craigslist Funny - Merged Threads
« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2009, 09:20:05 PM »
I could use a small vacation
But it don't look like rain.
7-11 was a part time job.