CFL's only contain on average, 5mg of mercury, really not a big deal.
On the other hand, the energy savings of using 10-20 watts of power vs 40-100 watts of power for lighting is very real, and in my opinion outweighs the possible environmental impact of mercury release.
for example, a 40 watt bulb used for 8,000 hours uses 480kWh, and would cost me $72 to use
For teh same amount of light, I can use a 13 watt bulb for 8,000 would cost me $15
If you also believe that CO2 emissions are a problem, there's an obvious savings in those emissions too, and would probably overrule any concerns about mercury.
They also produce much less heat, helping (at least a bit) to curtail cooling costs in the summer.
Finally, assuming you DID break one, only about 15-30% of that 5mg of mercury would be released; teh rest of which would be fused or otherwise stuck to the glass.
I don't mean to nitpick your post, which was obviously meant in a light hearted manner (and hell, I did laugh) but I wouldn't want people to not purchase a CFL due to these concerns. If you still don't want to purchase them, that's fine, but these shouldn't be reasons.
[/soapbox]