Cough, Ahem.
One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, name Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed lke the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" the young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet", was the shop owners reply.
The owner held a lighted match under Chet's left foot. Chet began to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells..."
The owner held another match under Chet's right foot. Chet's tune changed , and the air was filled with "Silent Night, Holy Night..." The young man was so impressed he immedietely paid for the bird and ran home quickly with the bird tucked under his arm.
When his wife saw the gift she was overwhelmed. "How beautiful" she exclaimed. "Can he talk?" "No" the young man replied, "but he can sing." With that he whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot and Chet crooned "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells..." The lad moved the lighter to Chet's right foot and out came "Silent Night, Holy Night..." The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "what if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it" he said, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs.
Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and that little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life:
"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."