I make artificial bacon: Hard salami, a couple of dabs of hickory smoke elixir, let it sit for a day or two, μ-wave it for ~ a minute per slice on paper plate, dab the top with paper towel to get rid of the excess grease.
You can keep it flat for sammiches by pressing it 'twixt two paper plates while μ-waving it --put an empty cup on top of plates for weight.
Crunchy. Good. Yum.