Author Topic: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler  (Read 4756 times)

roo_ster

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Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« on: June 07, 2010, 01:27:59 PM »
 :O


"Prison smuggling: authorities are determined to get to the bottom of it"



http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/829679-police-astonished-by-rectal-capacity-of-prison-smuggler

Authorities in Wenatchee, Washington, were surprised to find that the man had managed to sneak a cigarette lighter, cigarette papers, a bag of tobacco the size of a golf-ball, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a small baggie of what was thought to be marijuana, and an inch-long smoking pipe into jail by hiding them up himself.

The man was booked into the jail last Wednesday on a disorderly conduct charge, said Chelan County Regional Justice Center administrator Phil Stanley, and nothing was discovered when he was initially strip searched.

But when a prison official later discovered a plastic bag and duct tape in the toilet, the prisoner was questioned again and eventually handed over the contraband.

Wenatchee Police Department spokesman Sergeant John Kruse told the Wenatchee World newspaper: 'We were all wondering, "How do you put all that up there?" The tobacco was pretty impressive; it was a good ounce.'
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grislyatoms

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2010, 01:29:42 PM »
"Prison smuggling: authorities are determined to get to the bottom of it">:D

Man he had contraband out the wazoo...

 =D
« Last Edit: June 07, 2010, 01:34:13 PM by grislyatoms »
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230RN

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2010, 01:30:22 PM »
Time for my ten-foot pole with which I would not touch this thread.

AJ Dual

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2010, 01:31:52 PM »
I promise not to duck.

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MicroBalrog

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2010, 03:55:40 PM »
So wait.

Cigarette papers that came out of someone's rear end... and these people would put that in their mouths?
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Mabs2

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2010, 04:00:59 PM »
So wait.

Cigarette papers that came out of someone's rear end... and these people would put that in their mouths?

Every time my aunt goes to jail she hides pills up herself.  I imagine from the stories that I've heard that she has plenty of room.
I'm not sure how she'd handle the heroin stuff now that she's moved on to harder drugs.
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MicroBalrog

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2010, 04:08:17 PM »
And needles. I realize they were in some kind of wrapping, but had something gone wrong, he'd have died in horrible suffering.
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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2010, 04:14:09 PM »
And needles. I realize they were in some kind of wrapping, but had something gone wrong, he'd have died in horrible suffering.
Yea, I cringed at that.
Heck, maybe he was using a fancy hard carrying case.
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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2010, 04:21:32 PM »
Yea, I cringed at that.
Heck, maybe he was using a fancy hard carrying case.
I remember reading Papillon when I was young. The prisoners in the book had little aluminium tubes shoved up their butts to bring money with them to the prison islands...(supposed true story according to the author, others have serious doubts about it).
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Sergeant Bob

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2010, 07:53:31 PM »
I remember reading Papillon when I was young. The prisoners in the book had little aluminium tubes shoved up their butts to bring money with them to the prison islands...(supposed true story according to the author, others have serious doubts about it).

I rectum it's do-able however, I don't think aluminiumium had yet been invented in Papillion's time.  :P =D
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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2010, 08:32:17 PM »
Hey Azrael256...

"ECHO! Echo! Echo! Echo! Echo...:laugh:
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vaskidmark

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2010, 09:18:18 PM »
:O


"Prison smuggling: authorities are determined to get to the bottom of it"

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/829679-police-astonished-by-rectal-capacity-of-prison-smuggler

a cigarette lighter, cigarette papers, a bag of tobacco the size of a golf-ball, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a small baggie of what was thought to be marijuana, and an inch-long smoking pipe into jail

Is that all he had?  Seriously, I have observed folks who had a whole lot more and passed the "squat & cough" test,[

'We were all wondering, "How do you put all that up there?"

Hint:  do not use vaseline.  And apparently as long as you are not bouncing up and down on a hard surface you are not likely to perforate your intestine/rectum.

What this inquiring mind wants to know is how long it took him to train out the involuntary muscle responses to such stimuli?

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Azrael256

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #13 on: June 07, 2010, 10:21:45 PM »
Quote
Hey Azrael256...

"ECHO! Echo! Echo! Echo! Echo..." 

As this is a family forum, I won't expound on just how I know this, but inmates have smuggled some surprisingly large objects... Er... "Up there.". A golf ball is considered a "small" object.

Btw, the "official" CO-speak is "keistering," at least around here.

Boomhauer

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #14 on: June 07, 2010, 10:25:02 PM »
Quote
What this inquiring mind wants to know is how long it took him to train out the involuntary muscle responses to such stimuli?

I imagine that if he's been to prison before he's had "assistance" with that issue.

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #15 on: June 07, 2010, 10:27:39 PM »
I don't expect this thread to end well.  It stinks like....like....POOPY!
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roo_ster

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #16 on: June 07, 2010, 10:48:34 PM »
Brings a whole new understanding to Prince Albert in a can.
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roo_ster

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White Horseradish

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #17 on: June 07, 2010, 11:10:22 PM »
So wait.

Cigarette papers that came out of someone's rear end... and these people would put that in their mouths?

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roo_ster

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #18 on: June 08, 2010, 01:09:02 AM »
So wait.

Cigarette papers that came out of someone's rear end... and these people would put that in their mouths?


I am savoring this moment.  Something so wacked even MB is put off.   =D
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roo_ster

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White Horseradish

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #19 on: June 08, 2010, 11:55:16 AM »
I am savoring this moment.  Something so wacked even MB is put off.   =D
That's some heavy s4, man... :)
Political tags - such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth - are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire.

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AJ Dual

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #20 on: June 08, 2010, 01:30:42 PM »
I guess coffee isn't banned in many prisons, otherwise the Kopi Luwak market would be much bigger.
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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #21 on: June 08, 2010, 02:53:26 PM »
I remember reading Papillon when I was young. The prisoners in the book had little aluminium tubes shoved up their butts to bring money with them to the prison islands...(supposed true story according to the author, others have serious doubts about it).

It was quite the interesting book indeed.

I rectum it's do-able however, I don't think aluminiumium had yet been invented in Papillion's time.  :P =D

I'm pretty sure it was around in the thirties to forties during which the book takes place.
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Boomhauer

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #22 on: June 08, 2010, 08:03:14 PM »
What units are used for measuring rectal capacity?
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Perd Hapley

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #23 on: June 08, 2010, 08:47:15 PM »
This thread is heading to a dark, dark place.

But anyway, when DID they invent aluminum? 
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roo_ster

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Re: Police astonished by rectal capacity of prison smuggler
« Reply #24 on: June 08, 2010, 10:28:49 PM »
What units are used for measuring rectal capacity?

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roo_ster

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