"Gupta, are you finished loading the baggages? You are? Good, because now you must come to the cockpit and be piloting together with me."
"Welcome to India Air Express Technical Support - all of our assistants are currently busy, but your call is important to us, so please leave your flight number and current altitude, and enjoy our Ravi Shankir hold music. You call willl be serviced in the order in which it was recieved"
"...Hello, flight 2345, my name is "Bob" and I am in Dallas, (I swear) - how am I to be helping you this day?"
"Oh my goodness gracious - the airliner is to be heading downward at high velocity!"
"Am I speaking with either the senior or junior occupant of the forward pit of penises?"
" The junior occupant I am, and please hurry! The sacred cows are getting larger at a tremendous rate! If we do not do something soon, I will soon be reincarnated!"