So, whose girlfriend can we claim has been kidnapped?
More importantly, who do we know (of, about, once heard their name mentioned) that has the kind of loot needed so we can ask them for help ransoming her?
No, I'm not filling out an application for a grant from Bill&MelindaGatesFoundation, although I'm pretty sure we could twist this into a new program to prevent Somali pirates from contracting malaria.
stay safe.