THE BARBARIAN BIRTHDAY DIRGE
tune: "Volga Boatmen"
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Now you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Now you are the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as Death draws near
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Long ago your hair turned grey
Now it's falling out, they say
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Burn the castle and storm the keep
Kill the women, but save the sheep
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies you 'et
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake.
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
May the children in the street
Be your barbequeing meat
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
We love children, yes we do
Baked or broiled or in a stew
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
May your deeds with sheep and yaks
Equal those with sword and axe
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
They stole your sword, your gold, your house
Took your sheep but not your spouse
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
This one lesson you must learn
First you pillage, then you burn
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
While you eat your birthday stew
We will loot the town for you,
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!