If dogs are so smart...

[Perd Hapley]

...why can't they figure out how not to be where Mommy and Daddy are trying to walk?

Silly doggies.

[Nick1911]

Side note: The "mommy and daddy" saying always left a sour taste in my mouth.

My dogs are not human children.  I am their owner, not their father.

[41magsnub]

But dogs are human children with fur (according to the sign in my neighbors back yard).   

[Perd Hapley]

Side note: The "mommy and daddy" saying always left a sour taste in my mouth.

My dogs are not human children.  I am their owner, not their father.

My dog is a dog children. She'll never grow up.

[BlueStarLizzard]

My dog is a dog children. She'll never grow up.

this. Plus, they probably do see us as their momma or daddy.

[Perd Hapley]

Plus, they probably do see us as their momma or daddy.

From their vantage point lying smack in the middle of the hallway. 

[BlueStarLizzard]

From their vantage point lying smack in the middle of the hallway. 

It's called the dog obstical course. Ours are really good at setting up some real doozies. The real challenge comes when they convince the cats to get involved.

[Phyphor]

What's even more challenging is when they decide to add a bit of randomness to the course, and jump up as you're stepping over them.

[TommyGunn]

this. Plus, they probably do see us as their momma or daddy.

Well, they probably actually see us as the Alpha of the "pack."

And so far as getting underfoot, trust me, dogs have NOTHING on cats in this respect!!!

[Cliffh]

Try having one of each (cat & dog), both black, with a dark blue carpet; then get up in the middle of the night!

[Perd Hapley]

Well, they probably actually see us as the Alpha of the "pack."

I suppose. My wife thinks that her dog pays so much attention to me because she (the dog) loves me. And in her doggy way, perhaps she does love me. But I'm pretty sure it's also because I'm bigger, louder and menacing-er than Mom, and she perceives that I am in charge. (Whether any husband is really in charge may be debatable, but Ginger the dog does not dwell on such philosophical queries.)

[K Frame]

They know exactly where you're going to be walking.

That's why they're there.

Side side note: Kids leave a sour taste in my mouth. My dogs are better than human children.

[Tallpine]

We not only have furry kids with claws, we have furry kids with hooves 

[41magsnub]

I stomped the crap out of Maddie the puppy's foot this morning on our walk.  She saw something interesting and bolted right under me mid-step.  Then she sits, cries, holds up the one paw, and gives me puppy eyes.  

[Jamisjockey]

Furry kid thinks she is one of the non-furry kids.  Thats the most entertaining part is watching her play with the kids.
I'm not one of those mushy mushy pet owners.  The dog is a dog. Yes, she lives inside and gets treats, petted, and kept clean and groomed.  But I always want to gut those people who baby talk thier dogs.
Does poochy woochy want a cookie?  

[Declaration Day]

My dogs are better than human children.

Yep, I have no interest in having human children.

Dogs are better in so many ways.  They don't smell as bad, they don't talk back, and they bring lesser criminal charges when you beat them

[makattak]

Side side note: Kids leave a sour taste in my mouth. My dogs are better than human children.

I think you must be cooking them wrong.

[K Frame]

"But I always want to gut those people who baby talk thier dogs."

I'd gleefully gut anyone who baby talks anything.

[TommyGunn]

I think you must be cooking them wrong.

  ..............

[MechAg94]

Regarding the OP: Attention, Attention, Attention!  It is all about maximizing the amount of time you are paying attention to them.  Sometimes good or bad doesn't matter.  But I guess you already knew that.  Besides, they can't have you sneaking treats in the kitchen without them getting some also.

[Azrael256]

My dogs are fed, watered, exercised, kept warm, made to sleep in comfortable bedding, given medical care, and showered with affection pretty much constantly.  In return, they wag their tails and snore loudly.

Anybody who thinks these creatures are not smarter than us is not paying attention.

[BlueStarLizzard]

My dogs are fed, watered, exercised, kept warm, made to sleep in comfortable bedding, given medical care, and showered with affection pretty much constantly.  In return, they wag their tails and snore loudly.

Anybody who thinks these creatures are not smarter than us is not paying attention.

QFT

I baby talk to the baby and the puppies, rarely.

The rest of the time I want to belt my coworker for baby talking to anything except the adult humans.

The only exception for baby talk is in cases of being an extream smart ass.
sounds like wittle miky irwinie and jammy jamis needs a nappy nap. So grwumpy pants

[brimic]

In return, they wag their tails and snore loudly.

...and fart.

[BlueStarLizzard]

...and fart.

It's best when they have a "suprise" fart, and look at their butt like "WTH was that!?!"     

[MechAg94]

sounds like wittle miky irwinie and jammy jamis needs a nappy nap. So grwumpy pants