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Author Topic: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.  (Read 6400 times)

Scout26

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Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« on: March 08, 2013, 03:22:31 PM »
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TechMan

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2013, 03:27:53 PM »
I like the department that did the study
Quote
. Pentagon Office of Budgetary Analytical Logistics and Life Studies (BALLS)


ETA:  This is a military version of the Onions, correct.

ETA2:  Yes it is.  Is it sad that I could see this happening.
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HankB

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2013, 03:33:17 PM »
So junior enlisted will have to pay $10 a day, just to report for duty?  :facepalm:

What next - charge the guys over in Iraq for the bullets they use?

Are they trying to provoke a mutiny or something?
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Balog

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2013, 03:34:17 PM »
Quote from: HankB on March 08, 2013, 03:33:17 PM
So junior enlisted will have to pay $10 a day, just to report for duty?  :facepalm:

What next - charge the guys over in Iraq for the bullets they use?

Are they trying to provoke a mutiny or something?

Dude, it's satire.
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Fitz

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2013, 03:38:59 PM »
...

lulz
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dogmush

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2013, 05:42:15 PM »
Quote from: HankB on March 08, 2013, 03:33:17 PM
What next - charge the guys over in Iraq for the bullets they use?


Thanks for giving them the idea. >:D

The sword won't seem so funny now.
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AJ Dual

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2013, 05:42:59 PM »
However, the Army probably could make a few bucks with a "Shoot a 'Terrrist" safaris.  Luxury Connex box accommodation at the FOB of your choice. Your own personal Scout-Sniper spotter/guide.

Pretty much just a land-bound version of our "Piracy Cruise" ideas.

Mounting and stuffing extra. (The taxidermy kind, not the Middle Eastern "Thursday Night" kind. Although, from what I hear, if you've got blond hair and blue eyes, and are clean shaven, you might be able to defray the costs of your trip this way...)
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Phantom Warrior

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2013, 06:41:29 PM »
Put all crew served weapons on a remotely operated turret like the CROW. 
Connect to the Internet. 
Charge money to play. 
Profit.
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RoadKingLarry

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2013, 07:17:59 PM »
Quote from: adively on March 08, 2013, 03:27:53 PM
I like the department that did the study

ETA:  This is a military version of the Onions, correct.

ETA2:  Yes it is.  Is it sad that I could see this happening.

With the crap that comes out of DC and the insanity reported by the news it's getting harder to tell satire from reality.
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Tallpine

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #9 on: March 08, 2013, 07:34:29 PM »
Quote from: RoadKingLarry on March 08, 2013, 07:17:59 PM
With the crap that comes out of DC and the insanity reported by the news it's getting harder to tell satire from reality.

Life these days seems like a badly written movie that you can't pause or eject  :facepalm:
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ArfinGreebly

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #10 on: March 08, 2013, 07:50:57 PM »

Irony and satire become really hard when they're just as credible as real life.
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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #11 on: March 08, 2013, 07:52:05 PM »
Quote from: ArfinGreebly on March 08, 2013, 07:50:57 PM
Irony and satire become really hard when they're just as credible as real life.

I'm afraid to write satire for fear it will be taken as a suggestion  :facepalm:
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Freedom is a heavy load, a great and strange burden for the spirit to undertake. It is not easy. It is not a gift given, but a choice made, and the choice may be a hard one. The road goes upward toward the light; but the laden traveller may never reach the end of it.  - Ursula Le Guin

ArfinGreebly

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #12 on: March 08, 2013, 07:54:07 PM »
Quote from: Tallpine on March 08, 2013, 07:52:05 PM

I'm afraid to write satire for fear it will be taken as a suggestion  :facepalm:


Seen on back of truck:  "1984 was supposed to be a cautionary tale, not an operations manual."
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"Look at it this way. If America frightens you, feel free to live somewhere else. There are plenty of other countries that don't suffer from excessive liberty. America is where the Liberty is. Liberty is not certified safe."

Scout26

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #13 on: March 08, 2013, 08:30:58 PM »
At one point today the DuffleBlog had the "US Army Commissions First Westboro Baptist Church Chaplin" story.  I can't find it now.  The comments were priceless (especially from those that don't know the DuffleBlog is basically The Onion for the military.)

The newest one I can find is the Nidal Hasan Promoted to LTC and given Legion of Merit Medal.

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.


Bring me my Broadsword and a clear understanding.
Get up to the roundhouse on the cliff-top standing.
Take women and children and bed them down.
Bless with a hard heart those that stand with me.
Bless the women and children who firm our hands.
Put our backs to the north wind.
Hold fast by the river.
Sweet memories to drive us on,
for the motherland.

Ben

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #14 on: March 08, 2013, 09:36:21 PM »
Quote from: ArfinGreebly on March 08, 2013, 07:54:07 PM
Seen on back of truck:  "1984 was supposed to be a cautionary tale, not an operations manual."

I want the T-shirt.
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RevDisk

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2013, 08:54:33 AM »
Quote from: ArfinGreebly on March 08, 2013, 07:50:57 PM
Irony and satire become really hard when they're just as credible as real life.

http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/11/hardest-working-sailor-determined-by-shiniest-boots-immaculate-uniform/

Unless the Navy is completely unlike the Army, I have a hard time believing that's satire. My own brother is up for one of those type of boards. Same thing. Shiny boots, pressed uniform and other activities that DIRECTLY REDUCE combat efficiency at considered significantly more important.
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Balog

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #16 on: March 12, 2013, 05:25:42 PM »
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Quote from: French G.
I was always pleasant, friendly and within arm's reach of a gun.

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If government is the answer, it must have been a really, really, really stupid question.

vaskidmark

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #17 on: March 12, 2013, 06:30:58 PM »
Quote from: Balog on March 12, 2013, 05:25:42 PM
http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/11/study-random-pointless-formations-tied-to-increase-in-combat-performance-morale/

You gotta take it out on someone.

If the Taliban ever gets wind of that story they will be running off to the World Court, crying crimes, crimes against humanity, and violations of both the Hauge and Geneva Conventions.  Can't say as I'd disagree with them.

stay safe.
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coppertales

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #18 on: March 12, 2013, 07:37:07 PM »
I am surprised the army, and the other services, just don't bring back KP.  Save alot of money there.  Didn't hurt me none......chris3
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dogmush

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #19 on: March 12, 2013, 07:38:12 PM »
http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/u-s-military-begins-annual-exercise-enduring-freedom/


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Colonel Page responded, “There is no particular objective associated with Enduring Freedom. We originally tried developing this elaborate backstory involving a massive terrorist attack on the United States, but too many commanders were questioning how that tied in with passing out money to illiterate farmers.”

Read more: http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/u-s-military-begins-annual-exercise-enduring-freedom/#ixzz2NN7BcDNa
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Fitz

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #20 on: March 12, 2013, 07:39:23 PM »
Quote from: coppertales on March 12, 2013, 07:37:07 PM
I am surprised the army, and the other services, just don't bring back KP.  Save alot of money there.  Didn't hurt me none......chris3

Yeah. I don't know when KP in basic training stopped, but it seems these days there are more civilian cooks than army.
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Fitz

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French G.

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #21 on: March 13, 2013, 01:19:26 AM »
Quote from: coppertales on March 12, 2013, 07:37:07 PM
I am surprised the army, and the other services, just don't bring back KP.  Save alot of money there.  Didn't hurt me none......chris3

Join the navy, see the world as you are taking out the galley trash to the pier dumpster. I was a mess crank my first 3 months on a ship, and 13 years later in my last 3 months on a ship. Now that time I had 20 cranks working for me. Which was real easy when they included an irritable Marine Cpl or two. Sic, go drink coffee and watch Fox news in my mess, repeat.
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AKA Navy Joe   

I'm so contrarian that I didn't respond to the thread.

280plus

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #22 on: March 13, 2013, 08:51:51 AM »
You had me till I saw the acronym "BALLS"  :laugh:
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RoadKingLarry

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Re: Army finds new ways to get around sequester.
« Reply #23 on: March 13, 2013, 10:21:10 PM »
Quote from: RevDisk on March 09, 2013, 08:54:33 AM
http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/11/hardest-working-sailor-determined-by-shiniest-boots-immaculate-uniform/

Unless the Navy is completely unlike the Army, I have a hard time believing that's satire. My own brother is up for one of those type of boards. Same thing. Shiny boots, pressed uniform and other activities that DIRECTLY REDUCE combat efficiency at considered significantly more important.


That is pretty well corroborated by my Navy experience. So long as the uniform, haircut and shave were squared away, being an absolute worthless tit was acceptable.
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If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

Samuel Adams
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