Author Topic: Monkeyleg doesn't think enough  (Read 1720 times)

Monkeyleg

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« on: August 31, 2006, 02:24:50 PM »
Back in 1972 or so, my wife and I had split up, and were dating others.

I met a young woman, Dusanka. (pronounced do-shonk-a). She was a bit squirrely, but we had some fun times.

But she and my now-wife hated each other. With a passion. I'm surprised that they didn't get into a hair-pulling, eye-gouging free-for-all the first time they met face to face.

Anywho, last summer I was sitting at this computer when the phone rang.

It was Dusanka. She was in town for her high-school reunion. And she thought it would be fun for us to all meet up again.

The party was going to be at the home of Pat and Fran, old friends of ours. I haven't seen Pat, his wife, or family in years.

It sounded like a fun evening, so I said we'd be there. "We" meaning Debbie and me.

I told Debbie that we were invited to a party at Pat and Fran's home. She's always liked them.

And then I mentioned that the gathering was because Dusanka was in town.

Remember the scene from "Carrie" after the cheerleader and her friends dumped the pail of blood on Carrie as she stood on stage?

Well, this moment came close. The only thing missing was the cheesey 1970's tuxedos.

Even today, I remember my wife's eyes. I swear they were glowing red. And the language? Let's just say that Art's Grammaw would have had a heart attack.

Fortunately, the doors didn't lock themselves, and I was able to get out of the house, drive around for awhile, and hope that I didn't return to a smoldering pile of rubble.

Grampster, I don't think too much. I just think about the wrong things, and usually at the wrong times. Wink

grampster

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2006, 03:00:46 PM »
Monkeyleg,

I'm always eager to read your stuff, whether yer thinkin' or not.  (grin)

I think I actually smelled the sulfur when I was reading your post.  (grin)
"Never wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."  G.B. Shaw

Lee

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2006, 03:06:37 PM »
I think your posts are a hoot...and being a middle-ager myself, I can relate very well to your experiences, and I know well the angst of being who we are, and where we're at, at this point in time. LOL  Keep up the good work!

Perd Hapley

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2006, 03:08:24 PM »
Who's Monkeyleg?




































Smiley
Can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are the gift of God?
--Thomas Jefferson

Standing Wolf

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2006, 03:48:20 PM »
Quote
Who's Monkeyleg?
A guy who likes to live very dangerously.
No tyrant should ever be allowed to die of natural causes.

trapperready

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2006, 06:32:15 PM »
Quote
It sounded like a fun evening, so I said we'd be there.
You and I must have a fundamental disagreement on the meaning of the word "fun". To say the least.

My wife and I have been married (very happily) for over 15 years. Before that, we dated for nearly 5 years. Our relationship literally couldn't be any better.

However, for about 2 months in 1988, we broke up. She, under some pressure from her mother, decided that we should "see other people". She had a couple dates, which I wasn't too crazy about... and then I had one date with someone else. Dinner, movie, peck on the cheek, that's it.

That's all it took for my wife (then pseudo-ex-girlfriend) to declare said experiment with "seeing other people" to be over. Since I was never on board with the idea in the first place, that was great by me. We dated for a few more years, got married, had a couple kids and have a great life together.

However, if the subject of "the other woman" ever comes up (which happens maybe once or twice a decade), she shows an evil side which NEVER comes out otherwise.

This kind of stuff makes comments about your wife's weight look like foreplay.

Perhaps you need to adapt the carpenter's rule of "Measure twice, cut once" to "Think twice, shut-the-hell-up once".

Smiley

Monkeyleg

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2006, 06:34:18 PM »
Fistful, I'm the guy you'll look like in 25 years. Wink Wanna know how bad that can be? Go to http://www.wisconsingunowners.org/main.cfm, and wait for the Flash panel on the right side of the screen to bring up my picture. Damn that Corey Graff. Wink

Since some here think that I'm dwelling on thoughts of depressing stuff, I thought I'd present some examples of my not thinking about important stuff.

Grampster, just a word of caution: I was born with congenital foot-in-mouth disease.

True story:

Back in the early 1990's, the marketing manager at Allen Edmonds Shoe Company annointed me his Golden Boy. I got all of the photography work for the company; I could do no wrong.

They decided to test-market shoes for women (bad idea, as most women tend to favor quantity over quality when it comes to shoes).

For the first test-market brochure for women's shoes, they had me work for a design company called Culver Design.

The art director--I forget her name now, but she was a real pleasure to work with; one of the best people I've ever known--had bought tons of props.

The main spread in the brochure was heavily propped: lots of wicker baskets, silk scarves, etc. I still have a copy of the brochure somewhere; it was a nice shot.

There was a hole, though, in the arrangement of props. The shot needed something.

The art director--was her name Beth?--had bought a tiny, antique perfume bottle with some ornate filigree on the top of the bottle. It was the perfect little prop to fill the void.

All morning long, though, Wells Culver (owner of the design firm) kept remarking how the liquid in the bottle--I'd mixed some water and yellow food dye, and inserted it into the bottle using an eye-dropper--looked like pee.

I've seen perfume before, and it's usually yellow. Wells Culver was getting on my nerves.

Right about noon or so (why is it that people who make good money show up just in time for a free lunch?), the three women who were in charge of the new marketing project arrived.

Wells Culver explained to them what we had been doing all morning, and did a good job of selling them on the photograph.

He then said, "but we had a hell of a time getting the pee into that little perfume bottle."

Before my assistant could stop me--before he could put duct tape over my mouth, throw me into an industrial-strength body bag and deposit me at some undisclosed location in another state--I blurted out:

"Yeah, but fortunately Wells had something small enough to fill it with."

The three women from marketing broke out in hysterical laughter.

I turned every shade of red, as I'd once again stepped in it.

Wells Culver gave me a look that said, "I'm going to ruin your career and pee on your grave, and use that perfume bottle."

That was the last time I did any work for Culver Design.

Me? Think?

Far from it.

Strings

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2006, 07:24:51 PM »
Well now... THAT lil' story brought a smile to Spoon's face! We can BOTH picture you blurting that one, Dick... Wink

Perd Hapley

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2006, 09:03:52 PM »
Monkeyleg,

That was too good to be true; can you show some documentation?  I mean that was brilliant.  Wow.

The picture of your ugly old self don't work, by the way.
Can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are the gift of God?
--Thomas Jefferson

Monkeyleg

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2006, 10:56:05 PM »
Fistful, you just turned 30 years old.

You have life by the tail.

You're old enough that people in your profession will respect your opinions on business matters.

You're young enough that those who are still wet behind the ears will listen to your advice.

What part of "dude, I've got it made" don't you understand? (Apologies for slaughtering modern vernacular).

You have unlimited possibilites before you. Don't waste them.

As for the story above, go to http://www.historicthirdward.org/business/culverdesign.php.

Ask for Wells Culver.

I'm sure he hasn't forgotten that incident.

Perd Hapley

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #10 on: September 01, 2006, 03:27:05 AM »
I'm not sure what all that encouragement was about, but thank you.
Can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are the gift of God?
--Thomas Jefferson

grampster

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #11 on: September 01, 2006, 04:16:20 AM »
The HA! HA! that just exploded out of my mouth cracked the screen of my nice 15" flat panel.  thanks, Dick. (grin)

I think the problem with Mr. Wells is the fact you were spot on with your remark.
"Never wrestle with a pig.  You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."  G.B. Shaw

AJ Dual

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2006, 06:28:43 AM »
Quote from: Monkeyleg
Fistful, I'm the guy you'll look like in 25 years. Wink Wanna know how bad that can be? Go to http://www.wisconsingunowners.org/main.cfm, and wait for the Flash panel on the right side of the screen to bring up my picture. Damn that Corey Graff. Wink
I know what you look like Dick, I'm more interested in Corey's picture. LAMFO!

I can't decide if he looks like an 18 year-old experimenting with his first mustache, a porn star, or a used-car salesman who sells Amway on the side...
I promise not to duck.

cosine

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Monkeyleg doesn't think enough
« Reply #13 on: September 01, 2006, 06:34:14 AM »
Quote from: AJ Dual
Quote from: Monkeyleg
Fistful, I'm the guy you'll look like in 25 years. Wink Wanna know how bad that can be? Go to http://www.wisconsingunowners.org/main.cfm, and wait for the Flash panel on the right side of the screen to bring up my picture. Damn that Corey Graff. Wink
I know what you look like Dick, I'm more interested in Corey's picture. LAMFO!

I can't decide if he looks like an 18 year-old experimenting with his first mustache, a porn star, or a used-car salesman who sells Amway on the side...
Ha! My thoughts exactly regarding Corey's picture. Cheesy For Monkeyleg's picture, keep watching the flash box. It cycles through several pictures every couple of seconds. Monkeyleg's shows up soon enough.
 
Monkeyleg, that last story was just hilarious. I don't care what gampster says about you thinking too much. Keep thinking. You've been posting some mighty good stuff here over the last several days, and that story about the shoe photography was just icing on the cake. Cheesy
Andy