Oh, geeziz. I guess I've answered this question on every forum I've joined.
Back when I was maybe 7 or 8 years old, a birthmark began to develop on my left leg. It was about the size of a half-dollar coin, and there was some very thick, black hair growing from it.
By the time I got to junior high (and co-ed gym classes), the birthmark had grown from my left ankle all the way up to my mid-thigh. And so did the hair. My left leg had hair as thick as a monkey's.
And, so, to deflect ridicule, I gave myself the nickname "Monkeyleg."
The weirdest part of that whole experience is that it only lasted for as long as I was trying to date girls/young women.
Once I got married, the hair began to disappear. Now there's almost none at all. Even the darkened skin has turned about the same color as the rest of my leg.
Hey, Old Man Upstairs: if you didn't want me fooling around, couldn't You have found a more obvious (and less embarrassing) way to tell me?