<snark>
Where I used to work, an awful lot of people had the title of scientist who didn't know an 8-32 screw from a 4-40 screw, and couldn't tell you the difference between a cation and an anion.
And no, a cation is not a wandering cat.
</snark>
"Hey, what's a proton donor?"
"Why, somebody who gives out protons, of course."
"Why, that's an acid remark."
"Well, pHooie on you."
"-OH, let's just be neutral about it."
I'm not signing this one so nobody will know who posted it.