Why You Use a Size 12 and Not a Lighter...

[Ben]

...to kill a spider at a gas station.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/09/26/michigan-motorist-sets-car-gas-pump-on-fire-trying-to-kill-spider-with/?intcmp=hpbt3

[RocketMan]

Most folks know that "Kill it with fire!" is meant as a joke.  It also brings new meaning to the term 'overkill'.

[Hawkmoon]

...to kill a spider at a gas station.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/09/26/michigan-motorist-sets-car-gas-pump-on-fire-trying-to-kill-spider-with/?intcmp=hpbt3

They're out there ...

[MechAg94]

So he is deathly afraid of spiders, but he has no problem reaching within inches to burn one. 

[Perd Hapley]

Acceptable collateral damage in the war on spiders. fistful-approved 

[230RN]

Maybe we ought to have a dollar/damage-related Darwin Award.

Death or removal from the gene pool not required, just collateral damage beyond a certain amount, including medical bills for those injured including the awardee.

I don't know what we should call it... just don't suggest the Terry Award in my "honor."  

[grampster]

In Michigan we do not mess around.  We deal with spiders in an aggressive manner.

[Perd Hapley]

In Michigan we do not mess around.  We deal with spiders in an aggressive manner.

May your tribe increase.

And FWIW, I use a size 13. Or detcord.

It's been a bad year for arthropods around here. Well, good for them; bad for us. We had an extremely wet spring/early summer, and they just seemed to be out of control.

[Boomhauer]

This guy has to be a cousin of one of the *expletive deleted*ers I work with.

I'm changing the propane cylinder on a forklift and when I go to hook up the full cylinder I don't realize the valve on the tank is open so when I hook the hose up i release a cloud of propane before I can get it shut off.

mother *expletive deleted*er comes over with a lit cigarette in his hand to see what is going on and RESTS HIS HAND ON TOP OF THE PROPANE CYLINDER. I *expletive deleted*it you not, my life flashed before my eyes and I thought I was a dead man

[Ben]

May your tribe increase.

And FWIW, I use a size 13. Or detcord.

It's been a bad year for arthropods around here. Well, good for them; bad for us. We had an extremely wet spring/early summer, and they just seemed to be out of control.

We have tons this year too. I can't walk from the house to any outbuilding without getting web in my face. It's mostly tons of the daddy long leg looking spiders, but we have a big increase in black widows this year too. I must have killed a few dozen around the house already, and that's just ones out in the open, not me finding them behind or under whatever. Usually I see just a few a year.

[230RN]

If you wear a size 10, are you undershoed?

"Bring enough shoe."

[Perd Hapley]

If you wear a size 10, are you undershoed?

"Bring enough shoe."

It means you probably wear lace on your panties socks.

[230RN]

It means you probably wear lace on your panties socks.

I'm sorry.  Explain?

[Perd Hapley]

'Twas inspired by a bit of gun lore of which I was recently reminded by someone alluding to it in another thread some days ago:

http://www.gundigest.com/gun-blogs/books/askins-gun-review-44-magnum

This Magnum is a man’s gun. It ain’t for boys. Word reaches me that some joes, probably with lace on their panties, are putting on gloves to shoot it. I hear that after a few shots your hand feels like you had been swinging at some fast balls with a cracked bat. How soft can we get?

[Doggy Daddy]

mother *expletive deleted*er comes over with a lit cigarette in his hand to see what is going on and RESTS HIS HAND ON TOP OF THE PROPANE CYLINDER. I *expletive deleted*it you not, my life flashed before my eyes and I thought I was a dead man

Get rid of him.  I think I know a plant nursery that will take him on for seasonal help.