Holiday cooking fiascos

[cosine]

I'm sure most of us here have a story or two about things going terribly or humorously wrong while cooking some holiday recipe.

Bonus points if it happened when you were an inexperienced cook. 



My story: The time I blew up the oven. 


Setting: My family's kitchen, just before Easter.
I was probably about 15 years old.

Events:
I had decided I wanted to try my hand at making hot cross buns. I had mixed up the batter without too much trouble. I formed it into buns, and slid the batch into the oven. (we had an electric oven.)

Now things got interesting.
I went in the living room to read a book while waiting for the buzzer to signal that my hot cross buns were baked. However, after several minutes, before the buzzer rang, I heard a pop.
Next came a sizzle, followed by a louder pop. I sit up to go check out what was happening in the kitchen.

*Bang*

I bolt into the kitchen, and the oven is sitting there, popping and buzzing and sizzling and banging just as merrily as can be. The inside is all lit up. The oven is still closed, yet I can feel the heat.

I'm jumping around it, not quite sure what to do, when my dad runs into the kitchen.

He reaches over the oven and hits the off button.

When the oven settles down, we pull it away from the wall and unplug it. We crack open the door. There are my beautiful hot cross buns, the first thing I had ever tried baking, half baked and covered with a layer of fine ash. 

After things cooled down, we pulled them out of the oven and took a look around. The lower heating coil had burned through (melted) and the two exposed ends had been arcing.

I think the event scarred me for life, because I've only baked one thing since, a batch of cookies, and haven't ever tried my hand at hot cross buns again. 






I'm thinking of trying a batch of Christmas cookies, your thoughts on the wisdom of my idea? 

[Headless Thompson Gunner]

So what happened, the oven was broken?

[charby]

My brother and I spent a few holidays together because parents lived 800 miles away and other members of the extended family were sick so a lot of family get togethers were cancelled.

I put in a turkey one thanksgiving morning before going out for a morning pheasant hunt. Since I wasn't going to be home until about 12:30 I told my brother at 11am take off the tin foil covering it and turn off the oven at 11:45am.

Well my brother turned off the oven at 11:45 am but forgot to take off the tinfoil at 11:00 am. So we carved up the whitest looking turkey I have even seen.

First time with a smoker.

At Christmas that year my brother was given a 20lb turkey by his employer for Christmas and I just aquired my first smoker that fall. So we had an idea to smoke that turkey. So on Christmas Eve we decided to go hit happy hour at the bar then go home and get the smoker going. So about 8pm we walked home from the bars drunker than a skunk, got the smoker going then rubbed the bird down with some weird drunken mixture of spices and beer, once the charcoal got ashed over I dumped a whole bag of hickory chips on it and stuck the bird in. We decided we hadn't had enough to drink yet so we walked back down to bar until about 11 am. Okay now we are both three sheets to the wind and I didn't think I had enought wood ships in the smoker, so I dumped another bag full of hickory over the charcoal and added more charcoal. The I went to bed.

I woke up about 7am, decided to kick my brother out of bed and go hunting before lunch time. I went out to check on the bird while he was getting ready. Because of all the hickory the bird was about as black as coal and the skin was as hard as a rock. So I pulled the bird out of the smoker and stuck it in oven to keep warm while we hunted.

When we got home about noonish my brother freaked out when he saw the bird and was wondering if we were going to go out for Chinese instead. I decided to take a chance and cut opened the skin. Inside was the heaviest smoked, juiciest turkey I have ever tasted. It looked like hell from the outside. I think on the intial blaze up from the hockory chips it seared the skin of the turkey and kept all the moisture to the inside.

Any finally

Watching an ex girlfriend getting drunk from eating cranberries mixed with a lot of brandy.

[cosine]

So what happened, the oven was broken?

Yep. Don't ask how the oven got broken, or why it decided to wait until I used it.

[280plus]

Well, I jus got my butt reamed by my 98 YO granny for suggesting we just have sandwiches at her house instead of the full blown gorge fest. 

"SANDWICHES!?!? IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!"

Whatever granny, just trying to make your life easier, it's not like you're 97 anymore... 

[cosine]

First time with a smoker.

At Christmas that year my brother was given a 20lb turkey by his employer for Christmas and I just aquired my first smoker that fall. So we had an idea to smoke that turkey. So on Christmas Eve we decided to go hit happy hour at the bar then go home and get the smoker going. So about 8pm we walked home from the bars drunker than a skunk, got the smoker going then rubbed the bird down with some weird drunken mixture of spices and beer, once the charcoal got ashed over I dumped a whole bag of hickory chips on it and stuck the bird in. We decided we hadn't had enough to drink yet so we walked back down to bar until about 11 am. Okay now we are both three sheets to the wind and I didn't think I had enought wood ships in the smoker, so I dumped another bag full of hickory over the charcoal and added more charcoal. The I went to bed.

I woke up about 7am, decided to kick my brother out of bed and go hunting before lunch time. I went out to check on the bird while he was getting ready. Because of all the hickory the bird was about as black as coal and the skin was as hard as a rock. So I pulled the bird out of the smoker and stuck it in oven to keep warm while we hunted.

When we got home about noonish my brother freaked out when he saw the bird and was wondering if we were going to go out for Chinese instead. I decided to take a chance and cut opened the skin. Inside was the heaviest smoked, juiciest turkey I have ever tasted. It looked like hell from the outside. I think on the intial blaze up from the hockory chips it seared the skin of the turkey and kept all the moisture to the inside.

Hmm, you did just like your username suggests.  Plus, that doesn't sound like it really was a fiasco in the end.