Failed Robbery

[Ben]

Furniture gun didn't work:

http://fox8.com/2017/12/26/employees-catch-suspect-who-tried-robbing-akron-store-with-obviously-fake-gun/

[dm1333]

His name is Derringer? 

[Doggy Daddy]

His name is Derringer? 

Maybe it's a nickname. Maybe that's why he was waving that bargain basement excuse for a compensation appliance around.   

[Hawkmoon]

Maybe he read somewhere that the stocks on a rifle are called "furniture" and didn't quite understand the distinction.

[TommyGunn]

F-  in woodcraft ing for this loser!

[Fly320s]

He could have turned in that "gun" and received a $100 gift card!

[Firethorn]

I'm going to say, I give him points for effort and creativity.   

In low light conditions I'd totally treat that as a real firearm.  I might even in the day because, well, I've seen improvised firearms that looked less like a firearm than that

[K Frame]

" I might even in the day because, well, I've seen improvised firearms that looked less like a firearm than that"

Bingo.

This is an actual functional shotgun that doesn't look a lot different from the one this assclown used.

http://mindtomachine.blogspot.com/2014/08/12-gauge-pipe-shotgun.html

If someone were waving that thing around me and claiming it to be a gun, they'd run the serious chance of me lighting them up.

[KD5NRH]

I might even in the day because, well, I've seen improvised firearms that looked less like a firearm than that

Just at a glance, I'd feel pretty strongly that it's not real.  I'd feel even more strongly that on the small chance it is real, there's no way it's go more than a single shot.

Thus I'd grab the smallest non-family-member nearby and toss them out as a decoy, then go curb stomp him.  Hopefully Jamis won't be hanging around that day and I'll have to use a larger, target, like a 12 year old.

[K Frame]

Thus I'd grab the smallest non-family-member nearby and toss them out as a decoy, then go curb stomp him run away like a little girl with my dress on fire.

Fixed if for you... 

[KD5NRH]

Thus I'd grab the smallest non-family-member nearby and toss them out as a decoy, then go curb stomp him run away like a little girl with my dress on fire.

Oddly, I've had to fight a 90lb girl with her dress on fire.  She was drunk enough to not think the fire was a big enough issue to justify tossing her into the pond.  I'd put money on a little girl in a flaming dress against a homemade gun.

[K Frame]

No matter what, I'd put my money on you running away...

 

[KD5NRH]

No matter what, I'd put my money on you running away...

Even before I tore up my hip, the bad knee meant running away was a crappy option.  Even if I want to, I'm not going to get away from anybody without some comparable injuries.

Which is why I tend to practice kicks aimed at the sides of the knees; I know lots of things hurt, but I know a dislocated knee hurts a lot and makes running pretty much impossible.  If I want out of a fight, my best bet is to trash the guy's knee before I try to run.  Kicking low is easier than kicking high, and harder to defend against.  Even ground fighting I'd rather finish up with an attack on a knee or ankle.

[K Frame]

Ok, so curling up in a fetal ball and blubbering inconsolably. Whatever works, dude!

[KD5NRH]

Ok, so curling up in a fetal ball and blubbering inconsolably. Whatever works, dude!

That's called "distracting the enemy."