I've never had an issue, painful or otherwise, with a PGO shotty but I'm used to them. The trick is to not gorilla-grip them and stay tensed up. A firm grip and loose arm posture lets your hands and arms ride with the recoil. Takes the strain off your wrist and elbow. I figure a home invasion scenario will have so much adrenaline pumping that it wouldn't matter anyway. At home intruder range I've always been able to stay on a paper plate but, again, it's something that seemed to come naturally so I never had cause to doubt a PGO's efficacy, utility, and usefulness.
Some of the reasons I like PGO's for home defense... Soft lead shot, even 000 buck, has a bit less over-penetration potential relative to a jacketed projectile. The firearm's length makes it far more maneuverable in a home defense scenario versus a shoulder-stocked shotty. Finally, it's hard to argue against the terminal ballistics of a 3" 000 buck round. Does that mean it's the only thing within reach? No. In addition to the 18.5" Mossberg between my bed and nightstand there's also a Ruger .357 in the drawer. Similar setup in the living room. I like having options.
All that said, to each his own and use whatever you feel best suits your style, needs, and comfort level. Most anything that goes "bang" beats the heck out of teeth and rocks.
Brad