Joke of the day

[Bob F.]

Without any paperwork,
> > Grandpa started getting a $500 check every month.
> >   So Grandpa and Grandma started cashing them.
> >
> > It turns out an insurance company made a mistake with
> > the address; the checks were intended for another person with the exact
     same name.
> >
> >
> > Grandpa then received a notice demanding that he pay back $6,000.
> > Visibly upset, he complained to his grandson, an accountant.
> >
> > His grandson asked,
> > "Grandpa, didn't you wonder why
> > you were receiving checks every month for doing absolutely nothing?"
> >
> >
> > Grandpa answered,
> > "No, I just figured
> > the Democrats were back in power.
> >

[Bob F.]

January 21, 2009
HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT


Hillary Clinton
Was sworn in today as President.
She has disposed of Bill and is spending her
first night alone in the White House.  She has waited several years for this.
 
                        FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly, the ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
                                                           

Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."
 
                       SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
                            Jefferson says,
                                                         !
"Listen to the people."
"Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."
 
                             THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
                                                     
 
>                                               Lincoln says,
 
                          "Go to the theater." 
   
 


 
 

[Mabs2]

Two nuts were walking down the street, one of them was a-salted.

[Bob F.]

One of them said,"I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached
them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of
England.

The second surgeon said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and
both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a
gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a
woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on
into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was
the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them
together and now she's a senator from New York  and thinks she can be  President.