The best "fluid" story I know from my 26 yrs in the Marines involved a Warrant Officer who was a major jerk. He was the maint officer for a helo squadron, and his pride and joy was his Harley.
The hog was a leaker. No matter how many times he replaced seals, there was always oil on the pavement under it where he parked it at work. This went on for three years and lord knows how many teardowns on his bike.
At his retirement party he was presented with a cost savings program form that explained how much money the Gov't was going to save now that he was retiring and the troops no longer had to pour oil on the ground underneath his hog.
The look on his face was priceless!
Edited to add...
Blackburn, Blackbjiorn, Target Fart, whatever:
Put some pants on, get out of the bedroom in your Mother's house, GET A JOB, and get a life! GROW UP!