Now what are the vegans going to eat?

[WLJ]

Okay vegans, just think of the pain you're inflicting on the world next time you eat that salad because according to this plants scream in agony when stressed which is something we've suspected for awhile.

For the first time, researchers appear to have evidence that, like animals, plants can audibly vocalize their agony when deprived of water or forced to endure bodily harm. The study, which has yet to be published in a peer-reviewed scientific journal, adds another dimension to scientists’ growing understanding of how plants detect and interact with their surroundings—despite lacking many of the sensory organs their faunal counterparts deploy.

Plants May Let Out Ultrasonic Squeals When Stressed
Human ears can’t hear them, but other plants or animals might
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/scientists-record-stressed-out-plants-emitting-ultrasonic-squeals-180973716/

The paper

Plants emit informative airborne sounds under stress
https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/507590v4.full

[ConstitutionCowboy]

Screams? SCREAMS?

What about the sound my gut makes when I eat too much, or I'm hungry? It's not a "scream" in the sense that someone just kicked a man in the groin. It's a sound like the sound a waterfall makes, or ice on a pond creaks, or the wind blowing through the leaves on a tree. (Are they "happy" leaves?)

Sheesh! What about all those blades of grass cattle eat?

It's just noise.

Ya know? I can hardly wait 'till spring so I can go out and listen to my lawn growing. Na, maybe not. The cacophony of all the weeds choking on the Roundup will drown out all the "happy" and "gleeful" sounds of the grass coming back to life.  Just forget it.

Woody

[bedlamite]

(Are they "happy" leaves?)

Only in a Bob Ross painting.

[Ben]

They won't be happy until we have Star Wars replicators. Even then, for Vegan Starbuck to eat something replicated, some original of that thing had to be killed to get the pattern in the replicator.

[MechAg94]

Measuring in the range of 20 to 150 kilohertz, the researchers found that even happy, healthy plants made the occasional noise. But when cut, tobacco plants emitted an average of 15 sounds within an hour of being cut, while tomato plants produced 25 sounds. Stress from drought—brought on by up to ten days without water—elicited about 11 squeals per hour from the tobacco plants, and about 35 from the tomato plants.

So are they just whiny bitches who deserve to be eaten?

Researchers aren't yet sure how plants produce these sounds, but Khait and his colleagues propose one possibility in their paper. As water travels through the plants’ xylem tubes, which help keep them hydrated, air bubbles will form and explode, generating small vibrations. Previous studies have picked up these waves, but only through devices attached directly to plants. Still, the process, called cavitation, could explain longer-range sound production as well, as Edward Farmer, a plant biologist at the University of Lausanne in Switzerland who wasn’t involved in the study, tells Vaughan. But Farmer also remains cautious about the recordings, which may have picked up ambient noise as well,. Even drying soil can produce faint sounds, reports Nicolette Lanese for Live Science.

Sounds to me like it is just the "sound" of things happening internally in the plants as a result of the environmental conditions or stress rather than a deliberate action by the plant. 

Also, can they show that other plants have a way of detecting those sounds?  If not, why would any of this matter?

[WLJ]

So are they just whiny bitches who deserve to be eaten?
Sounds to me like it is just the "sound" of things happening internally in the plants as a result of the environmental conditions or stress rather than a deliberate action by the plant.  

Also, can they show that other plants have a way of detecting those sounds?  If not, why would any of this matter?

I was also thinking along the lines of what use would it be anyway, it's not like the other planets around them are capable of running away from the danger

[WLJ]

They won't be happy until we have Star Wars replicators. Even then, for Vegan Starbuck to eat something replicated, some original of that thing had to be killed to get the pattern in the replicator.

Star Wars?
Nerd Card Revoked!

[charby]

[RoadKingLarry]

I'll take - Now what are the vegans going to eat? for $1000.

The answer is -Who cares?

[MechAg94]

I'll take - Now what are the vegans going to eat? for $1000.

The answer is -Who cares?

All stuff they actually eat but won't admit to?

[Angel Eyes]

Plants emit informative airborne sounds under stress
https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/507590v4.full

Have they detected maple trees complaining about the oaks grabbing up all the sunlight?

[ConstitutionCowboy]

All this makes me wonder ... How do maple trees make all that wonderful syrup? Do they have something like a rumen or some such? Do they "ouch" or "scream" when someone pounds a spiel into them? Or do they just bark? 

Woody

[230RN]

Plumber's tin bars "cry" when you bend them.  It's the sound of the crystals in them breaking, I'm told.

Plumber's tin bars for making solder:

    

My father, who was a Master Plumber, showed me this when I was a kid.  I found bending them back and forth a couple of times stopped the crying.

I'm sure the tin bars weren't hurting, and even as a kid, I didn't anthropomorphize the effect and didn't think the tin died from multiple bends.

You can hear a lot of screams when trees fall down, though:

https://youtu.be/mMdnLAyYpM8 (11:26)

You don't have to watch the whole thing, but listening carefully reveals sounds that could be interpreted by the person with an active imagination as the words "there it goes," "oh my Gawd," and "timber."

 

Terry

[Angel Eyes]

Star Wars?
Nerd Card Revoked!

https://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/star-trek/


... and this one, because obvious:

https://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/im-so-vegan-i-dont-even-eat/

[bedlamite]

https://www.amazon.com/ComputerGear-Dalek-Loved-Funny-T-Shirt/dp/B07HSYCM1V

[Ben]

Well, at least a couple of guys were too tall for it to go over their heads. 

[ConstitutionCowboy]

Could these plants be crying out for Ewah to save them? 

Woody

[just Warren]

Since all living things have an electrical field altering a living thing alters the electrical field, yes?

And that alteration will cause certain effects, yes?

And with sensitive enough equipment that can be observed, yes?

[Sindawe]

So plants scream when eaten?

So what you are saying is that for them it is the holocaust.  Then let the the vegans wear glasses.

[ConstitutionCowboy]

Next time I belch I'll blame it on all those pent up screams from the produce I just ate.

Woody

[p12]

Basis of the Force.

The binding force that surrounds us.

[just Warren]

Basis of the Force.

The binding force that surrounds us.

Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebels' hidden fort...

[p12]

Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebels' hidden fort...

Strong with that one, movie quote. Yyeeess.

[grampster]

All this makes me wonder ... How do maple trees make all that wonderful syrup? Do they have something like a rumen or some such? Do they "ouch" or "scream" when someone pounds a spiel into them? Or do they just bark? 

Woody

Maples get the last laugh....it's tree diarrhea.

[ConstitutionCowboy]

Maples get the last laugh....it's tree diarrhea.

I guess now would be the time to put on my *expletive deleted*it eat'n grin! 

Woody